On going-long-distance.

Why are we so afraid of distance?

When someone goes, they leave you to yourself. So is it that we are really afraid of ourselves rather than the distance? 

Perhaps yes. 

When two people are in love, they occupy most of each other's time and thoughts, they get lost in each other. Distance between them creates a vacuum. Now, this vacuum can either be seen as a boon or a bane. It is idiosyncratic. Life is subjective. You become what you want to. 

It's as easy to be happy as it is to be sad. 

It's perfectly okay to miss them but it's imperative not to trivialize or squelch your own presence amidst their absence.

You must have read it somewhere, you need to be a complete person in yourself to love another person completely. You might have been a complete person when you fell in love. But today, after years, has that beloved taken away some part of you or have they added to your being? Do you still complete yourself?
This distance will shower you with all the answers you have been seeking. Even with some of those that you haven't contemplated yet.

Dots

The sky... what if someday it pulls me towards itself with a strong magnetic force. Opens its infinite arms and embraces me, engulfs me. I disappear. Completely. Within a moment.

Will it make them wonder?
Will it worry them?
Will it sadden them?

Yes. It will. But time will do its job and heal them all.

What will happen to me?
I will be lost.
May be in dark blankness
May be in bright emptiness.
No existence perhaps.
Period.
The end.
Silence. Forever.

No, I am not suicidal.
Just caught in a reverie.

...........

Your body is a temple. Treat it well.
Your indulgent mind is a monster. Tame it well.

...........

People come, people go.
You change. They change.
That's the law of the universe.

Every present has a past... and a future.
Past is a memory. Future is an illusion.
Present is what we have access to.
We can feel now. Only now.

............

A breath of fresh air.
A lingering hope.
A smile taking birth.
A piece of puzzle fitting in, perfectly.
An inspiration. A reason. A god.

...........

Do incomplete thoughts classify as thoughts?
Ummm... I think incomplete thoughts refrain you from looking deeper into yourself.
They are like.... ....................................... .......................................

Unknown

When you are living the life you want to, doing all that you wish to, a life completely designed by you, and you are still unhappy. Because something is missing. 

How can it be? 

This should be your happy moment. 

This should be it. 

Where is this emptiness coming from? 

I NEED A BREAK!

No relationship is easy. Be it love or friendship.
Two people have been raised differently, with dissimilar value sets.
Each has an exclusive way of looking at things, of dealing with situations and people.
How can there not be disagreements?
How can there not be disputes?

Sigh...

I didn't realise this is my first post of 2016. I am sorry Bloggie Doggie, I began on such a melancholic note with you.

Work is great.
That Birdie. Tangled. 'Copywriting'. Freelancing.
Phew!

I am tired. I need a break. From life. From myself. From work. From people. From the world!

The boon.

Introspection is good. One should do it seldom if not often. You need to evaluate the person you have been, the person you are and the person you are becoming. It helps you in being a good human. On the flip side, overdoing it might lead to negative thoughts.

There are days when you are not pleased with who you are. When people point out your flaws. You might defend yourself in front of them. But deep inside your heart, you know you are to blame.

Sigh...

Life is as complicated as you make it. True, isn't it? Half the troubles of life are created by us. We are all delusional people. We think a lot. Demons are mostly inside, and rarely out.
But, so is peace.
Buddha had said, 'Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.'

Everything is a choice. Every moment is a decision. Whether to inhale the next dose of oxygen or not is a decision.
There are days when you feel exasperated and tired of making decisions, and you wish you don't have to make them anymore. But even wishing so is a decision you took.
We cannot get rid of them. And trust me, it's not a curse, but a boon.

Imagine if one day someone steals all the power of decision making away from us...
There will not be any life.

We humans know it best how to misuse our boon, and call it a curse in order to escape from reality. To escape from the person you have been, the person you are and the person you are becoming.

More? Yes, please.

Just moments after saying some mean, illogical, nonsensical and overly dramatic words, you realise you were being all that, and you wish you could go back in time and stop your foolish self from uttering those words.
But it's too late.
If it is someone who loves you, knows you... they will either understand or will not take it too seriously.
This doesn't mean you can be unapologetic about it though. :P

Drama. What would life be without it?
Umm... Simple? Uncomplicated?
Or may be... Boring? And dull?
Depends. It's very situational.

Anyway, moving on...

So, you were waiting for a particular thing to happen to you since several years. And now it happens. You are happy, you feel like you are on the top of world. Great!
But now what?
What you wanted, you got. So, is it that you don't have any more ambitions, dreams, wishes or aspirations?
Should you get so lost in that single victory or that particular happy feeling that you stop dreaming more?
No.
There is always more to life.

Also...
Destiny makes you meet people who help you grow, you just have to recognise who are those people and keep them as close as you can. Take all the inspiration that oozes out of them, the support that gushes from them, and most importantly, the love that exudes from them. Then, there always will be more things to anticipate.

I miss... Me.

I miss those nights of melancholy.
I miss the whirlwind of emotions that went on inside me.
I miss the helplessness and that struggle.
When my feelings gushed in form of words.
When my thoughts would wander away to an unknown land.
A land that seemed like my own.
A place where I belonged.
I haven't visited there in a long time.
I haven't written for myself in a long time.
I miss those nights of fulfillment.

Utopia

A land where perfection dwells. Where harmony thrives. Where peace flows with the wind.

I wish it existed. 

May be it does.  

If it truly did, would I want to inhabit it?

May be...

May be not... 

I have grown accustomed to this broken world of mine. I have gained much, I have lost little. There is a bond I share with it, which is  invisible and adamantine. No matter how hard I try... I cannot escape it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince myself to escape it. 

Sigh...

  

Perplexities

What if I close my eyes for a few flying seconds just to open them and find out that it's all an illusion. There are no local trains. There is no home, no work, no CST. The history of India, the world, the history of mankind was fabricated by my imaginative mind. What if the music that I listen to, that the world listens to is a figment too? Pen and paper never existed, and neither did the people I love and those I don't. What am I? Who am I? Will I ever know? Do I really wish to know or am I complacent with this illusion?

What is freedom?
I don't know.
Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes a place, a situation or a person invokes a strange kind of happiness within me, and I relate it to freedom. I say to myself that I feel liberated. But is it so really?

What is what? What is existence?
I don't know. Do I wish to know? May be...
Can I handle the truth? May be...

Today's playlist:
Invisible - U2
Ordinary love - U2
My way - Frank Sinatra
Every breath you take - The Police
Fly me to the moon - Frank Sinatra 

Inspiration can be a tricky thing sometimes. When you say somebody inspires you to be better, in a small corner of your head you place that person above yourself. You belittle your being. And sometimes that can have a negative impact on your mind.
Also, when you are inspired by somebody, you want to embrace some of their virtues. How does it differentiate you from them eventually? How do you differentiate yourself from all those who have left something on you and moulded you in some way or the other? Are we any different at all?

Hmm... I should just work. Too much to do...