Who are you?

Who are you?
Are you a foe in a friend or a friend in a foe
Will I ever know...


I reminisce the times you have filled my heart with comfort
I remember the nights you have dipped my soul in despair


I wish you could ever measure the depth of the sea of sorrows, you have gifted me
By which you could gauge the profuse warmth I have for you


Nonetheless my mate, your sour gift has bestowed me with a teaching of life
Which says a human shows it's true colors only with time


Whoever you are, a foe in a friend or a friend in a foe
I hold no grudge against you as my heart forbids me to


I shall always remember you my dear
As someone who added to my soul a wisdom layer 

Movies, Men and Merry Christmas ;)

The cold is finally here. It's getting colder by each passing day. I am telling you... I am totally in love with the air!! 
Movies, hot Green tea, some munchies and a snuggle-worthy quilt - a Perfect way to enjoy a wintry day!!


So, it's yet another good friend's birthday today so I wish him a super duper Happy Birthday and a great life! :) :) 


And, the movie watching spree is still on!!
Oh and how could I forget, Merry Christmas (belated) Bloggy doggie!! :) :) :)


Okay so there's this little revelation I had a few days back, when I was at a cafe; if women are said to act pricey and be unnecessarily exigent all the time, then men inherently hold the abilities of flattery and persuasion!! Be it my younger brother or my male friends or my dad too, all of them have this incessant habit of wheedling and cajoling us! No matter how much they disagree doing it, they still do it inadvertently! 
I mean, since childhood, all we girls are treated with flattery and inveiglement, in some way or the other... 'Old habits die hard', is known by one and all, then this my friend, is an ancient habit! Women can't not be women just like men, who can never stop being men!!


I've got to catch up on another flick so hasta la vista !! :* 

W for worries. No, W for winter :)

I am so exasperated due to a friend today. I cannot put down the reason in here. Maybe the reason is not really the friend's fault; I am the one who's being callow and silly for no reason. Actually there is a reason and that is 'ego'. 

I had read somewhere long ago, there are many shades of ego. Ego is not restricted to being self-obsessed and considering oneself above others or being arrogant! That was the time I realized, I too am very egoistic in my own way. And why just me? Everyone is, in some way or the other! 

I am watching an old Hindi movie right now. It's strange how times have changed. Watching such movies and going through a few ancestral photographs always makes me wonder about it. 

Many years down the line, maybe some of my linear descendant will have similar views, just as I have now, after looking at my photos and videos and after watching movies like 'Band baaja baraat', 'Aisha', 'The twilight saga', 'Inception' etc etc.

The cold is kinda catching pace and I am loving it. The weather was pretty cool today. Getting those chills and cold-creeps due to the frosty breeze gushing in a magical manner gives me a celestial feeling! :) :) :)

Ohh, how I love winter! This season is all about merriment! And of course, Christmas and the new year's eve add on extra buckets of joy to the glee!

Whoa, the spirit of wintertide has made me forget all my annoyance and worries! :) :D

Just rambling...

I desperately need to get a grip now. Not that I am not enjoying my current life-style, in fact I am loving it! That's the reason I am feeling daunted at the moment. I've been pampering myself a lot since long now, it needs to stopped because I'm kinda getting used to this!!

I had an amazing time with one of my cousin today. It's good to spend time with a person, who's not opinionated and presumptuous!

'The Holiday' is a beautiful movie. I love it. Though it is a little fairy-tale-ish.
But then who doesn't like fairy-tales!
Some guys may oppose the statement I just stated above, saying they do not believe in fairy-tales. But, I never mentioned "believing". Which guy wouldn't "LIKE" to have the most gorgeous and rich princess as his lady!! ;) :P

Mumbai has so many different colors to it. Every area in this city gives you a different feel altogether! This city is something else! It's a prodigiously unexpected place to live in... Well, what else can you expect from the city, which is populated so immoderately with umpteen humans, who themselves are by nature, very unpredictable!!

What do you do when despite of spending Rs500 on a dinner, you are still hungry?  YOU EAT!!
What else can you do! When you're hungry, you have to pacify the tummy!
(Yeah, this was too random!)

Humma Humma- Evergreen and joyful!!
Hey soul sister- I like. No, Love!!
'Hey soul sister. Ain't that mister mister. On the radio, stereo....' :)) :)

It's still not cold! At least not cold enough to put on my orange sweat-jacket!

Dance- Invigorating, refreshing, joyful, etc etc etc.
I liked 'Rockstar'. Also it's soundtrack is great... "Oh yeah yeah yeah...", "Hawa hawa", "Aur ho"... such superb songs!! For the first time, I've liked an entire bolly movie soundtrack! Mohit Chauhan and A.R. Rehman have proved to be a perfect combo!

It's strange, how most of the times, what I think of blogging is totally different from what I end up blogging!

One of my very good friend is getting married and I guess I've already mentioned it before, her wedding preparations and shopping are on in full swing!! I am thoroughly enjoying being a part of it!
There are so many small rituals that are to be done! The best part is, the bride gets to shop as much as she can! As if the entire world is going to stop producing clothes, shoes and bags within a few days!!
Things are over-hyped! Such exorbitant venues and clothes and jewelry, goodness me!! I am so dumbfounded by looking at all of this!
I mean, the marriage has to be grand such that people remember it up till their world ends! People didn't realize when traditions and rituals were superseded by prestige and social eminence! And now, this is what they say the culture is. It's good to celebrate but only for your own self and not for the heck of societal pressure!
I know these views are good enough to blog about but when you are out there, you become one of them, even if you don't want to! One cannot stay socially dysfunctional for a long time, you know.

Desperately awaiting Christmas!! :) :)

Good mood gone bad!!

Hugh Jackman - HOT!! 
From 'Someone like you' to 'X-Men', he still remains as desirable as a man could be! 


I am getting the 'Bridget Jones' feeling... It is in relation to something that was revealed to me today! I guess, I really am the only one left! But you know what, I care too less!!  


An hour back, I was very happy and wanted to blog about many things and now I am blank... The Blues have taken over suddenly.... 
I cannot believe this... I was in a fine and normal state of mind, just sometime back and one single piece of information about a couple of persons, blew up the good mood. I cannot elucidate it in here, but it sure is something upsetting for anyone in such a situation!!
(Yes, I just said it doesn't affect me a bit, a paragraph above, but it is affecting me. I don't know, how to stop!)


Deprivation is not a good feeling, be it with regard to anything whatsoever! :( :( :(


Phew, what would I have done without music?! Music always comes to my rescue! 
'Cry me a river', 'What goes around' and 'My love' by Justin Timberlake and 'Karma' by Alicia Keys, just never fall out of my favorites list. It's been like 5 years now and I still love listening to these numbers!


Mood swings are the quirkiest thing ever! You never know when you can go from a fab mood to a disconcerting mind set!! Ugh... I am feeling awful! 


Anyway,
I had gone for a stroll today, after dinner. It was a half an hour walk. I heard good music, with my head bobbing all the while and I thought about all the good things that have happened, will happen and can happen! It was indeed invigorating! It was like walking through positivism. I should go for such a ramble everyday, it felt real good!
.......
Ohh, I am in love with Greenday! I've been listening to them tad too much.


I guess I'll end here. I am too lost in my own cogitations and ideations, to write anything....

Qualms and consternations...!!

To begin with, it's one of my very good friend's birthday so I would like to wish all the good in the world for him!

Now,

When the heck will I learn to let go the 'bygones' and the 'what-if's'?! If this really happen's, more than half of my troubles will wither away!! 

I've also discerned that since past few months, I've been contradicting my ownself! I decide on a thing, very firmly (be it the smallest decision or an important one), and then eventually I do the complete opposite of what I had decided! 

I know, it happens with everyone but lately, the frequency of it happening with me is more than usual... I am scared of myself because of this. Whatever I want to do (and it should be done that way), I do the exact opposite! Something has gone terribly wrong with my system! It's high time I do something about it! 

I mean, if I can't trust ME to do the right things, I'll sure make my life messier! I have to listen to ME!! 

(Yeah I know, it's confounding!)  

Listening to 'Locking up the sun' by Poets of Fall... love the song!

Then, there are a few songs, I like as well as dislike... 

There are a few things I can't blog about, that's why journals exist and I have written in mine. But the fear about IT is undermining me! I am so daunted by IT! I hope I am walking on the right path. Or am I being too repressive.. Life is such a mystery, you never know, whether what you have chose is right or wrong...

Birthdays... Why are they SO important?! 

Also, I've been trying to study since last two days but I am not doing it! I know, the word 'TRY' doesn't exist. You either DO or you DON'T! I hope I start up soon...

Or maybe, I should just STOP cogitating and anticipating on certain things!! 

 

Non-ruminations...

Since last two days I've been partying with friends, I attended the first ever catholic wedding in my life, it was super fun! It's strange how different cultures actually differ so much!
I am super weary but I wanted to talk to someone and no one's available right now so this blog being my savior... I'm here. There's nothing grave or dour that I want to talk about, just want to vent out the words...


Sometimes, there's so much to blabber about and the very next moment you go blank... Sometimes, I want to say everything that comes in my heart and sometimes I find all my words meaningless, stupid and hollow...


'Kolaveri di'- stupid but addictive!


Almost everyone around me is undergoing love-troubles... Is love so troublesome? Really?
Everyone discusses their troubled moments but there's hardly anyone who talks about or elaborates their happier love moments. Why do people do that? I don't mind listening to the issues but it leaves me perplexed about the subject 'Love'. I know, I've been writing on love and relationships a lot these days but this is what's in the air, I think on what I see and I write what I think (well, most of the times).  


I love vodka. It's good! 
Red nail-color : Love it and hate it at the same time!


Variety and diversity is what I love, it is the need of life! 
'It will rain' by Bruno Mars- :) :) :)
Sometimes people are all that matter and sometimes it's only about you. Everyone likes to think of themselves as intellectuals. Maybe even I like to think so or maybe not.


My favorite season of the year has still not shown it's magic, I want the winds to be breathtakingly cold! I am desperately awaiting Christmas, not that I celebrate it in some grand manner. I just love Christmas, I don't why, it just makes me very happy.
I am in such a bizarre mind set. I cannot decipher whether I am happy or sad. But today, I am certain, I am either of the two, while most of the times I am not even this sure!!


Day before yesterday, at the wedding, one of my friend, well not that much of friend, asked me four times that why am I sad, when I was no where close to feeling sad!! I felt like kicking her ass hard and slapping her twice! This female and her boyfriend (who is also a friend to me) always ask me, why am I sad. I fail to comprehend, what is their friggin problem!! I am not feeling sad, you are bloody spoiling my mood!! Moreover, they hardly know me, how can they conclude whether I am sad or happy?! 
I do have this habit of smiling invariably for no reason but that doesn't mean I cannot give rest to my jaws by taking a break from smiling, which by the by, is not 'being sad'! 
I do embrace the fact that they just try to show their concern by asking this, but come on, the same thing every time is not some pleasant music to my ears!! 
I did show my annoyance on her repetitive questions, as much as I could. But, she still kept asking, then I decided to turn deaf to her!! And, it helped :) ;)


Pakistani singers have a good voice though I've noticed peculiarity about their voice quality.
Susheela Raman is one of the finest singers India can ever have! There's some kind of magic in her voice. Her songs have a tint of classical style as well as a tinge of modern music. I love her voice and I can go on and on about her!


I guess, I should get some sleep now. Ciao.

Me, the movie freak!!

Phew... I can die from an overdose of love-stories!! I have been thriving on 2 romantic movies per day since last three days! I am on a break for a week, from studies so I have been pampering myself by doing everything in excess (including excess-eating...LOL, though that is something I always do & not just while I am on breaks)... But seriously I should stop watching love stories, it makes me feel girlier than I actually am!!! (Yes, I do know, girlier is not a real word)


Listening to High school musical songs, Hannah Montana songs and Lizzie McGuire music takes me back to my teenage years and all the memories come rushing back, making me feel happy and sad at the same moment...
"It's hard to believe that I couldn't see, you were always there besides me, thought I was alone, with no one to hold but you were always right besides me....", such an awesome HSM song!
See, I told you, I am getting all mushy and silly and tooo girly!!


Tomorrow's 'To-do' list:
Watch 'Wild things', 'Gothika' and 'X-Men 2' to get the mush out.


I've been blogging everyday (rather every night). Also I've been writing my diary too much... Maybe I am trying to keep the writing alive in me... I dont want it go away... Decisions & choices are very difficult to deal with...


Looking at the old photos, is one way of realizing how time has just flied by. Around 13.5 years back, I had a baby in my hands.  From his first walk, first words & first report card to changing his diapers, carrying him in my arms, taking him everywhere I went, it all seems like a sweet and pretty dream... Now, he's got a slight mustache & he's too huge to carry him in my arms... But no matter how many years pass by, you will always be my baby and my first love... Oh God, I don't know how will I ever be able to share him with yet another woman!  


Anyway, 
why do people choose to go for a movie on the basis of the reviews? Are their choices so generic? I mean, I used to think every person is different and they have differing choices, then how come do they decide to watch a movie based on someone else's reviews and opinions? May be you'll like the movie with a bad review, maybe you will really find it entertaining... After reading the newspaper review, you will so definitely have the same perception about it! Why do people ALWAYS have to be so logical and judgmental? Cant they watch a movie for sole entertainment purposes without judging it much?! You shouldn't think so much for seeing a movie, just watch it, simple! I love watching movies for the sake of entertainment, fun and emotions and not on the basis of some stupid weekly review!! Anyway, I care too less about whatever people think in this regard.


......

Amorphous...

No, this one has no strong topics like my previous two posts. I am tired of thinking now. It was a nebulous day today, just like most of my days. I was by myself today. I saw 'Mod', a bolly movie by Nagesh Kukunoor and it was simply adorable. I was in the movie the whole day (if you get it)!
I get so involved in movies after watching them. If a movie is really touching, the post movie effect stays for days! Just two days back, a distant friend said that I quickly get too attached to people. I argued saying it's not true. But today after watching the movie, I realized how I get attached to the characters, not for hours but for days and days. I keep thinking about the characters and what would their life be now i.e. after 'THE END'.
SO maybe this friend was right, maybe I do start getting emotionally dependent on people too fast. I don't know how to kill this... He was right. I always knew this about me but... sometimes somethings cannot be controlled.


Also, I had to deal with my over-possessiveness for the things that I considered ONLY MINE. There is nothing that is only mine, there never can be.... 'Mine' is a myth, it will be better for me to comprehend this gospel as soon as possible.  


'You were not there when I needed you' - You always invariably need that person but you don't realize this need unless that person is not around for whatever reasons.


Coming out of a salon unsatisfied leaves me utterly furious!! We pay them bucks to transform us from ugly witches to pretty maidens and not to render us even uglier!!
(I know, I exaggerated a little but it came straight out of fury)


'But baby, you're the right kind of wrong', another great number, I like the lyrics!


Oftentimes I feel, this is all a dream. Me, my life, it's not real... all of this is just a dream... is it?!
I don't know why do I always think about such silly, quirky and unanswerable stuff!!


There's a faulty tube light that turned bad a few days back, you still always turn on the button for that same tube light each time you enter the dark room, then within a nano second you realize that it doesn't work and you turn on the other light in the room. It's not that you forgot the tube light ain't working, it just happens out of regular habit. 
Loving someone is exactly like that... Maybe the relationship dies, what about the habit?! It's not easy to remember not-to-love... It takes years to get rid of this custom...
(By the way, there really is a faulty tube-light at my place since more than week now and I still press that wrong button!)  


'Macy's day parade' by 'Greenday' - a lovely song! 

The Realm of Loyalty

"All men are dogs!", a very commonly used phrase... On which one of my girlfriend once said that dogs are loyal while men are an antonym to the word 'loyal'.
I contemplated about her comment for quite sometime and I discerned, dogs sure are loyal but only to humans. What about the bitches? They mate with them, knock them up and go away forever... This is a common trait found in human males too and thus the derivation of the phrase, "All men are dogs!"
(Now tell me, am I a thinker or not!!)

In the past two weeks, I've have stumbled across two absolutely opposite categories of MEN.
First category:  Who love and lust only their partner.
Second category: Who love their partner and lust other women.
The first category comprises of 2% MEN. The second category i.e. 98% of MEN are the ones on whom women generally tend to fall.

TESTOSTERONE, I guess every one would be knowing about these specific male hormones. Testosterone is the reason why men are ruled by lust and not love. It is true that sexual temptations are not easy to curb BUT is it easier to hurt the person, who loves you and thinks the world of you, for such materialistic and physical longings? I am too baffled... Are these hormones more stronger and more powerful than love and emotions?!

Speaking of sexual hormones, it's not that we women don't have them, it's just that the male species have an extra bunch of them. Infidelity is not really just a man's forte! I know women who have cheated, some did it for pure physical and sexual purposes and the rest for other reasons.

So, should I expect loyalty or not? By loyalty I mean both, emotional and physical fidelity. Is it really so arduous to live with and be loyal to one single person for your entire life?

I am all questions about this loyalty issue!! And, I know, I will never reach to a single answer for it!!
I had read somewhere, "Loyalty generates inequality and partiality, it means the outsiders cannot claim equal treatment with those who are objects to loyal attachment. The loyal attachments are formed on the basis of the bond you share with that person, the liking towards that person."  So, if the attachment or the likeness diminishes, the extent of loyalty also diminishes?! There was much more written in that article on loyalty, it is so darn complicated! 


My brain is feeling very heavy after mulling over such corpulent topics! I better stop thinking about it, as there cannot be a conclusion... I mean, I cannot stay single all my life contemplating about the fears of infidelity and neither can I live with the myth that a relationship is always loyal, so it's best not to over-think (or not to think at all) about such contingencies and conjectures! 
Living life as it comes, without thinking of past issues and future speculations, is the best and most difficult way to live and I am still striving to live each moment in this manner!!
(And, fortunately I never ever lose hope for betterment...)