Grinning..

'Fooled me again' by Lady Gaga... quirky but I still love it!

"All Men are the same"
You know, there really is some part of this phrase that's honest!
Haha... I may be coming out as a sexist, when looking at some of my blogposts... But I really am not one!
Just that, lately, there are many of these peculiar male characteristics that I've personally stumbled across. Of course, all of them meandering around girls!!
I never had any notions regarding men, I don't have any now either... but yeah, you can say the picture is not all that hazy now, when it comes to them!
LOL... This knowledge though, I don't think is actually conducive but it sure is a joke or a mockery that I share with myself! ;)

'Cry' by Rihanna and 'Broken hearted girl' by Beyonce - :) :( :l

There are people who are invariably uberly confident. There are people who are always dubious of themselves and under-confident. Then, there people who oscillate between being overconfident & confident AND(not or) under-confident & confident... I belong to #3!

Oftentimes, I too do things that I don't like others doing... so, either I should stop being a hypocrite and quit doing them or I should stop complaining about others doing them...isn't it?!

"And, nothing else matters" by Metallica... is evergreen!!

I totally and ardently believe in the saying "Everything happens for a reason"... Even the silliest of things that happen with you, have a hidden purpose lurking around! This doesn't mean that I keep looking around for reasons everywhere or that anyone should ever do so... In time, you always realize, why it had happened... if you are even averagely smart!!!



Marilyn Monroe is someone I pretty much admire... I doubt if there is anyone, who doesn't admire her (or her audacity)!
Some of her quotes that I feel, explain my head also to a certain extent...
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than be absolutely boring!" 
"I restore myself when I'm alone."
"Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about!"
"It's all make believe, isn't it?!"

Sad...

How is it possible not to get wet, being inside the sea?! I wish I knew that!

Suddenly, the movie "Holiday" came to my mind again... I can sooo relate to Kate Winslet's character Iris in the movie! I guess I've mentioned this before!
I loved that movie, it's one of my most favorite flicks!

Times when you feel bad about yourself. When people actually walk over you! When certain circumstances make you second guess yourself! When certain unexpected people hurt you in an unexpected manner unintentionally!
I need a hug! :( :(
I wish I could talk it out to someone... anyone!!
But I would never allow myself to do that...

Just out of habit...

"...you are so stuck in my heart, like counting a million stars, for that many reasons you are...."  -  by C21 :) :) :)

I feel so thoughtless at the moment... Like there's just nothing to talk about or write about... Anyway, it just came to me that I haven't donated blood and it's been more than 3months since I last did... I should do it soon now.

Since a few days I'm feeling pretty spaced-out... It always happens during exams; exam period is like a sanctuary for me!!

I had a dream last night about a friend, who's no more in contact... I've been feeling this urge to contact that friend since morning but there's no way to do so!
It's strange how people come in and go out of our life... Few always stay, few stay in the memories only and a few are forgotten...

BBM, Whatsapp, Facebook, Chat messengers etc, have made it so easier for people to socialize... you don't realize when you befriend a stranger and when that new friend becomes your best friend! It's not all that good though... too much socializing can get too annoying!

Sometimes it's so difficult to find the perfect song you wish to hear... Just shuffling through my music folder and no song is really inviting me at the moment!! Music and mood always should go hand in hand!

Found one... "Why do all good things come to an end?" by Nelly Furtado...

Summer is here :( The noons are too sunny and I already feel tanned!

When you desperately want to talk to a person and there are too many emotions to vent out but somehow you never permit yourself to do so... For certain vague reasons, it seems befitting to keep things to yourself!


And, some food for thought:
"What we see mainly depends on what we look for"  (I personally too believe so, substantially!)
"Whatever you can do, or you believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it"

"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." (So true!!)

'Disturbia' by Rihanna ..... 

Self-defiant!!

I decided not to blog today for some strange reasons but then since I had decided not to blog, I had to contradict myself (as always) so here I am!!

I always knew that outward beauty and appearance is all what matters to people... and lately many such incidents have transpired which have proved that I am not under any misconception!
If Mr God has given you a beautiful/handsome face, all kinds of persons (good, bad, fair, dark, wheatish, alluring, ugly, strong, arrogant, feeble, cute, perverted, etc., etc.) will fall for you!!
As I'd mentioned before, our world is full of Shallow Hals!!

Listening to 'Sufi'... I was addicted to the song, when it was out... though I am not that fond of it now but I still like it!

Lonesome walks in the dark, with mild and soothing music playing on the headphones along with a little bit of humming, on deserted streets - :) :) :)

Untimely acne- aggravating!!!

'Stolen' by Raagav is another one time favorite that's playing on my PC playlist!

Anyway,
It's so easy to fall in love with anyone! I reminisce reading this article in some newspaper once, that the feeling of love is nothing but secretion of certain hormones in your body... well, I really don't remember the names of those "love hormones" but yeah, they are the ones which cause that "rush" in your heart! You can easily feel this rush, as in the body can very easily produce these hormones, it doesn't matter whether it is the "right person" or not... your body doesn't know right or wrong!
I really have started to believe in the potency of this article, you know! It's pretty cogent!
Of course, I am aware of the concept of "platonic love" and I've also read about it a lot but one cannot oversee the rarity of it! I am not being pessimistic but really, platonic love that too with your own partner is not something that's customary!

"Naked" by Enrique and Dev is my current favorite!!

101

I love you my Bachchulin... You are the only person who respects me, who bears all my tantrums, who accepts my dominance, who listens to me, who loves me even when I yell at the top of my voice! There can be no one like you. And whenever I tell you, you are the most important person in my life... I really mean it!

We never feel like we have it all, even if we really have it all!!

There are certain things that I don't like about certain people but I can't really change them... though I can change myself in certain aspects... Easier said than done!!

.......................

Just words.

Afraid. Awry. Blank. Lost. Hopes. Disappointments. Morbid. Weary. Nauseous. Sad. Crying. Hug. Mistaken. Sorry. Rummaging. Music. Burned. Vagrant. Wishes. Lackadaisical. Enervated. Dreams. Sluggish. Love. Hate. Helpless. Reviving. Music. Zoning. Fucked-up. 

..........

 P.S.: This is my 101st blogpost; thus the title.

Actually...

Sometimes when you truly start feeling that something good is actually here, things are really working out well and this is your time.... suddenly it turns out you were totally mistaken and it was nothing but a fake mirage!

Music- Always here to make things right for me! I love music. Can't do without it! 

Even now, it feels as though the beats are charging me up with optimism,when my heart is kinda sinking!

Doing wrong things, knowing they are wrong all through but still continuing to do them stubbornly BUT never actually regretting them, is what I always do. And strangely, I've accepted me like that! Again, I know it's wrong to actually accept such a way of life and continue doing it. But this is me now! Can't help it, really!!

"Nain parindey" from the movie Lafangey parindey... soulful!

"Grace Kelly" by Mika is one song that I loved years back, then I got bored of it and now again I like it!

"I tried to be like Grace Kelly

But all her looks were too sad

So I tried a little a Freddy, (ooooh)

I've gone identity mad!"

This song helps me feel more comfortable in my own skin, when I am bothered by the judgments and conjectures about me! Listening to it right now... and loving it!!

You know, they say that never let anyone else control your emotional buttons... but being a human it is not possible to do that unless you are some saint or a yogi or whatever! It's fine to be sad for a while. Why do people consider being sad as a bad thing? I mean, it's okay...only you should know how to change back to being happy!!

Also, sometimes it's better to keep your sadness and anxiety to yourself. Because when you open your heart about it to people and they don't say the words you want to hear, it only makes you more mad!!  

And YOU... better get out of the door! Hah... YOU don't matter now!! Actually, YOU never did!!!

Poker-faced.....

"Dilemma" by Nelly (featuring Kelly) lists amongst those 1st favorite English numbers of mine. I was in school and used to listen to this song all day! Also, "Get down" by Backstreet boys... Man, I was crazy about this song...
"I feel like heaven when I look in your eyes, 
I know that you're the one for me.
You drive me crazy cz you're one of a kind,
I want your lovin baby and I want it right now woahoahoah woahoah...."  

How do you know that he/she is the one for you???
I don't think one can ever know... at least I can't!
Maybe that's the feeling you get when you are enamored and smitten by that person but you may not incessantly and invariably feel so! I wish there was some certain way to know that because then there would be no perplexity. As it is I am like this big befuddled glob of pensiveness and thoughtlessness! See, my perception about me itself is so paradoxical and bamboozled! Sometimes I really feel... Mera kuch nahi ho sakta...!!

Listening to 'Poker face' by Lady Gaga...

I sometimes feel my heart is poker-faced! I myself can never be sure of what it wants!

When you know what is that something, that's missing but you can't really help it.
When you prefer being ignorant about things because accepting them and facing them is not a cinch.

When you say "never" purposefully because you want the "never say never" to work there!
When you want something so desperately and so eagerly, since ages but there are still no signs of it getting any closer and it really is not in your hands, at all!! That feeling of helpless restlessness can be tackled only by being oblivious and blithe. You know, those things that are totally dependent on your destiny... I guess ignorance really is bliss, there!!
Just wishing and hoping......

Alas, the mirthful wintertide went away :( :( This was the best winter of my life, till date. I wish to witness this sublimity and jocundity every year!

"Auntyji" and "Gubbare" from EMAET - I love!


Lastly, Happy Birthday Mom. I Love you! I really do...Maybe more than I will ever know!

Zoned out

There's a world in which we actually live, there's a world we've never been to, there's a world we think we are living in, there's a world where everyone else except you breathes in and then there's your world built with a million of your constantly changing thoughts and experiences. 

A chat with a friend made me wonder that everyone really does wonder...  

It was good. Although I wanted to make sure that the person I was chatting with, gets me properly but then... how does it matter?!! Well, as far as I discerned even that friend was trying to be more expositional. Moreover, I don't care about whether we comprehend each other or not; it was just good to know that I am not the only freakshow... all of us are! Well, if not all... at least I know a few who are! ;)

Those gospels that you are invariably aware of but still you need an awakening, every now and then, to remind you of their existence! It's weird isn't it... we don't really forget them but we still forget them!

I hate mosquitoes, they are present everywhere I go, in every nook and cranny!! They've invaded my house too!! Freaking 'Goodnight' has no effect... it feels as though they apply some 'Goodnight' repellent on themselves! Aaarrghhh.... I hate them! I know no one loves them BUT they really are loathsome... they are blood-suckers after all! It got me thinking, how did the first ever mosquito came to life?? And why... why did Mr God had to create any mosquitoes?!

Speaking of blood-suckers, I know a few humans also who are good at it... they are like human-mosquitoes except I can't really kill them with a single clap!

Times when you are surrounded by a group of chatty people and you are still talking to yourself instead of them!

Bumping into my favorite green tea flavor accidentally, after months, when I just concluded that they must've stopped producing it, in a store where I'd never expected to find any kind of green tea.... :) :) :) 

Life is unpredictable, all of us know and have experienced since birth. I like it... the unpredictability! Be it good or bad or happy or sad! I really like it! :)

'Don't think of me' by Dido... sweetly wicked :) ;) 

And the song that's STILL on my mind...

"Only you, only you, my beautiful dream I loved you.

Only you, only you, you gave me your heart." 

The other day 'Notting hill' reminded me of the song 'You say it best when you say nothing at all'. I love that song... I used to listen to it umpteen times in a day, back in college! 

And now, I am sick of only planning IT... I wish I could just precipitate myself somehow into IT... just headlong!!

Totally random!

Just when I am about to hit the bed, I take a final look in the mirror and see my hair falling perfectly. Why can't the hair look that good when I have to go out?! 
Well, perhaps my hair looks the same even then. It's just my perception, just because I am going to be sleeping and getting up looking like a wreckage, I feel the hair is too good to be slept with! But, when I get ready for an occasion, nothing in the world can make me believe that I am looking fine for the day!
Humans... Never satisfied!


The more time I spend around people, the lesser I know me for that day!


'Notting Hill' is a lovely romantic movie! 
I saw 'Ek main aur ek tu' last week. I liked the movie, it was quite realistic! Maybe that's the reason many people around me did not like it! 
People like to see rom-coms or love stories because of their happy endings. 'Ek main aur ek tu' did not have a happy ending, rather it did not have an ending at all! The hero was still hoping in the climax that he'll win the heroine over and the movie ended without giving the audience any exact conclusion. So people were disappointed! Many real life love stories actually end in 'HOPE'. Sometimes, you get the person you want and sometimes you have to accept things and move on!


And, 
it's not good to perceive someone as you want them to be, rather than what they really are! This is nothing but fooling your own self! 


I am humming Rihanna's 'Pon De Replay'... I don't know how, this song suddenly struck me after ages!
"Come, Mr DJ song pon de replay. Come, Mr DJ won't you turn the music up?........"


Oftentimes, you don't feel contented living some moments, only once. You wish you could re-live them again and again! Just the way we can hear the same song any number of times we want. 
But then, at least we have been given the liberty to reminisce those moments and imagine re-living them! See... Mr God always has own way of giving us whatever we wish for, it's just us... who never acknowledge his givings! 


Adieu!! 

On FRIENDS, the sitcom.

I don't know why but today, the entire day, Friends episode where Rachel's having a baby, was playing in my head!! I kept smiling the entire day especially reminiscing the dialogues between Ross, Rachel and the doc... Poor Rachel! She was in labor for almost 21 hrs!! I love Ross and Rachel the most here!!
"Rachel: Dr, I've been at this for 17 hrs. 3 women have come and gone with their babies. You gotta give me some good news now! How many centimeters am I dilated? 8? 9?
Dr.: 3
Ross: Just 3!!! I'm dilated 3!!"
also,
When Pregnant Janice comes in for her delivery in that semi-private room and Ross and Rachel are totally shocked... Janice does her "Oh... My... Gooddd....!!" loudly and of course her irksome LAUGH. Ross says to Rachel, "Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears"
Hahahahaa!! Hilarious! I love FRIENDS!!

I remember, when I was in school, our cable operator used to put on friends, on the cable channel, on weekends for hours and since then I've been watching it! Several years have passed by and umpteen times have I seen the entire series BUT they still make me laugh hard!!
Chandler's stupid sarcasm, Monica's craziness, Joey's Innocent dumbness, the quirky Ms Phoebe Buffay (I love her), Ross & Rachel's track!! I feel as though I really know them as real people! I love watching them over and over again!
Of course I can't leave out Gunther & the ugly naked guy!

I love them all...
Monica for screaming "I know!!" in her typical way
Ross for showing a finger without actually showing it and his marrying spree
Joey for his "How you doing?" and the girlfriends
Phoebe for genuinely being so uniquely quirky, freaky and weird!
Chandler for inserting humor in every dialogue he's ever said
Rachel for getting in stupid sticky situations all the time
Gunther for always loving Rachel and spitting in his customers' coffee if they pissed him
The ugly naked guy for being the ugly naked guy

I just can't list out a favorite episode, I love the entire sitcom!

And,
My valentines day sucked badly! Actually, there was 1 good thing that happened, I ate chocolate sandwich! Thank you Mr God, for bestowing humans with the virtue of preparing GOOD food so that other humans, like me, get to eat them and turn a bad day into a good one! :)

Happy Valentines day!

It's valentines day... and also my bloggy-doggy's 1st birthday! Happy Birthday 'My Dreamsville'!! This blog is a piece of me... just can't articulate what it means to me... :) :)


Valentines day... A day that gives you just another reason to celebrate love. It is a day full of positive energy. Love is literally in the air on this day! I know, many don't believe in celebrating valentines but as I said, it gives you just another reason to celebrate love AND if you really love 'love', you won't refrain from celebrating it!
But, the V-Day kinda emphasizes the disadvantages of single-hood :/


There are some songs that give you a rush... You just capitulate to its music, its lyrics, its melody... 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga is one such song! I am in deep love with this track! Almost all Lady Gaga numbers are enchanting!!
"I want your love and I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and all your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh caught in bad romance..."  SIMPLY LOVE IT!!! :D




Why do people always choose to consider your words over your intentions? If someone really loves you, be it your family, friends or your beloved, you have got to trust in them that they would never even think about hurting you in any way.
The feeling you get when you have been highly misconstrued by a friend... is awfully upsetting! :( :(
Why do people love to think that everyone else is here to hurt them and the entire world is conspiring against them?? 
I mean, quit the negativity, dude!! Stop being so unaffirmative and cynical!! The world doesn't exactly revolve around you! 
I am fucking sick of being around the grouchy ones, the sullen ones and the huffy ones!!!


........


There's always a part of your heart that can never think practically or rationally come what may!  


And sometimes despite of having many dear ones, when you are feeling very chatty, somehow you can't manage to find a single person to talk to!!
Then, you realize that you actually blabber and drivel a little too much!


It's not good to turn blase about important issues. Levity and flippancy can really mess your life up to no limits!  
.......

Feminine!

I can see a slight beam of light coming out of the shut window so there's still a thin ray of hope left... So Mr stupid little brain, are you there?! Hellloooo?! Kindly start working!!!

Why are the heart and head always battling? Can't they for once settle on a single mutual thing?!

I've been listening too much to "Oh Johnny..." since last 2 days. It's a song by 'Andrew sisters'. It was a US chart-buster during the world-war!! I know... it's a very old song but it's very gleeful! 

Also, the soundtrack from the Bolly movie 'Life in a metro' is really good. Too romantic songs, not really my thing but sometimes they work well because the music is amazing (especially the guitar sounds)... When the movie was out years back, everyone was crazy about its songs but I never paid attention and now when people are bored of them... I've started liking them (All thanks to the radio stations that still keep playing them)! This always happens with me...late realizations... most of the times over songs and some of the times with real people!

Girls, females, women... No one can understand them, not even they themselves!

Sometimes we can take it all in good humor and sometimes something said sarcastically can hurt us immensely! 

I know guys who are like that too... in my head, I refer to them as 'girl-guys'!! I mean SOMETIMES it's OK for a guy to think like a girl, exceptions are allowed but dude.. not invariably!! It's easy to tell a girl-guy from the real guys! I personally know quite a few of them! Now, girl-guys are straight men, interested in women. They also have all the male body parts... the only thing they lack is some peculiar and necessary male thinking habits, which I can't elucidate properly... perhaps you'll need the girl-antennas to figure out what I mean here! And NO, I am not referring to the habit of lusting other women... because be it a guy or a girl-guy... they still own testosterone!! 

Anyway,

Why does being called 'fat' always bothers us? 

Maybe because girls have to be thin (not plump, not pudgy, not healthy... but THIN and LEAN) to be accepted by everyone! I don't know who started it... but now it's like the word 'Fat' sounds like an abuse to a girl, at times! I remember, till I was 17, I used to refer someone as 'fat' only if they were highly overweight or obese but as the years passed and my interactions with people increased, I've learnt that even if you are moderately out of proportion then you are freaking FAT!! 

But you know what... Screw you... Go eat yourself up and stop bothering me... I am fat and I don't fucking have a problem with that!!! 

We don't need anyone's acceptance, except our own! Often when people look at us scornfully, we start doubting ourselves (well, most of the girls do)... why do we do that?! However, sooner or later we do realize...we don't need to give a shit about it!

Right now, I am reminded of this song by Lady Sovereign, I enjoyed listening to few years back, that goes..

"Love me or hate me, is that an obsession

love me or hate me, that is the question

if you love me then thank you

if you hate me then fuck you!!"  

It's a fun song, you know! I really like it! ;)

Also, the movie 'Shallow Hal' is coming to my memory, at the moment... It is a good movie with a nice message... Somewhere I feel, all of us are just as shallow as Hal was before the climax of the movie...

And,

Sometimes, you call up a person, looking for warmth but all you get is a gigantic cold ice-cube! 

Sometimes, why is it necessary to hear the words we already know, from someone else?!

Sometimes, healthy flirting is fun! ;)

You never know!

'Love song' from 50 first dates is one of those evergreen songs that will always be my favorite. I've been listening to the Adele version of it since a week. The wordings are so sweet and lovable that any voice can do nothing but enhance the beauty of the song but I still love the original one from 50 first dates!!


Yesterday, I was just checking out my blog (yes, I check out my own blog, I like to do that!) and I came across a post where I'd written about winter and instead of 'weather', I made use of 'whether'!! I was abashed at my mistake and edited it correct, immediately. Here I am, reckoning writing as my 'thing' and I do this! Even in an unconscious state of mind, I am not supposed to make such an inane erratum!!  As soon as I snapped out of my silly embarrassment, I started reminiscing about this one time when someone (not a friend really) made a similar error and I silently mocked that person, in my head. I shouldn't have ... It was just a silly mistake, a typo. You should never mock at someone's mistake... you never know, you might end up making the same mistake! 
When the person making mistake is not you, you react in a different manner but when it's you, the reactions change! Most of the times, we go easy on ourselves but if someone else does the same glitch, we make a song and dance about it! While sometimes we overly punish ourselves for silly bloopers! We can never treat us and others in the same way! We just can't! If we could, we would all be saints (the real ones of course)!


Also, You should never let a mistake serve as a basis for forming a conclusion about a person. No, in fact, why do you ever have to form a conclusion about any person?! 


And sometimes, you just want to stick those earphones deep inside and play the music as loud as you can so that all the thoughts, you don't want to think about but you still cant stop contemplating, go away!!


'Aisha' movie soundtrack is awesomely cool! 


When the person you've been trying to push out of your life, really goes away... the morbid feeling you get... what is it?? 
Maybe it's missing the shooing away game. Or maybe it's the fear and confoundedness of making a wrong move. Or maybe it's missing that person... Can you ever really know?!


'Miss Independent' is being played on the radio. I was crazy about this song once upon a time! 
"She's got her own thing,
that's why I love her
Miss independent
Won't you come and spend a little time?
....
Miss independent, 
that's why I love her."  


I am still not doing it right and now, I am really scared! Maybe the fear will help now... I can do anything to make things work at the moment! Sigh... Bad habits... Why the fuck is it so darn difficult to get rid of them?! I mean, wanting and wishing to change them is just worth diddly! You have to friggin push yourself behind your limits!!  


P.S.: Admitting my stupid and ignominious spelling error wasn't all that easy!