Going Away.

I can’t wait to cease to exist. I can’t wait to go missing. I can’t wait to lose all connections. I can’t wait to go away.

It’s an exaggeration, of course. I am going on a 15-day adventure trip. There is no cell phone network in that area. So I cannot be contacted neither can I get in touch with people.

Every now and then we all need such breaks. They suck all the negative energies that we keep accumulating incessantly.

‘Kal ke andheron se nikal ke, dekha hai aankhein malte malte…

Ful hi ful zindagi kahan hai. Tey kar liyaaa,
Aaj fir jeene ki tamana hai, aaj fir marne ka irada hai.’

How many times have you wished you were dead?

No, not because life is being too harsh on you, but just for fun or for no reason or perhaps out of anger on a loved one.

My train of thought on ‘going away’ got me thinking on this topic.

I have had a few friends who had at some point mentioned that they wonder what it would be like when they are dead. They were keen to know how their family and friends will cope with it. I deciphered that there was a sense of sadism attached to this thought of theirs. It pleased them to imagine their loved ones craving for them. To be honest, I, too, have thought about it, and yes, I did gain some delight out of it.

It's okay, everyone likes to think in this manner, at least once or twice, because we are a self-centered species. We love it when people love us and want us. We simply love the attention, doesn’t matter if we are dead or alive.

In contrast to the above, can I say that it is our fear of losing that love, respect and want, or the feeling that we are not getting enough? It is not pleasure, but remedy for the pain that stems of out of our anxiety and insecurities.
Think about it.