Grinning..

'Fooled me again' by Lady Gaga... quirky but I still love it!

"All Men are the same"
You know, there really is some part of this phrase that's honest!
Haha... I may be coming out as a sexist, when looking at some of my blogposts... But I really am not one!
Just that, lately, there are many of these peculiar male characteristics that I've personally stumbled across. Of course, all of them meandering around girls!!
I never had any notions regarding men, I don't have any now either... but yeah, you can say the picture is not all that hazy now, when it comes to them!
LOL... This knowledge though, I don't think is actually conducive but it sure is a joke or a mockery that I share with myself! ;)

'Cry' by Rihanna and 'Broken hearted girl' by Beyonce - :) :( :l

There are people who are invariably uberly confident. There are people who are always dubious of themselves and under-confident. Then, there people who oscillate between being overconfident & confident AND(not or) under-confident & confident... I belong to #3!

Oftentimes, I too do things that I don't like others doing... so, either I should stop being a hypocrite and quit doing them or I should stop complaining about others doing them...isn't it?!

"And, nothing else matters" by Metallica... is evergreen!!

I totally and ardently believe in the saying "Everything happens for a reason"... Even the silliest of things that happen with you, have a hidden purpose lurking around! This doesn't mean that I keep looking around for reasons everywhere or that anyone should ever do so... In time, you always realize, why it had happened... if you are even averagely smart!!!



Marilyn Monroe is someone I pretty much admire... I doubt if there is anyone, who doesn't admire her (or her audacity)!
Some of her quotes that I feel, explain my head also to a certain extent...
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than be absolutely boring!" 
"I restore myself when I'm alone."
"Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about!"
"It's all make believe, isn't it?!"

Sad...

How is it possible not to get wet, being inside the sea?! I wish I knew that!

Suddenly, the movie "Holiday" came to my mind again... I can sooo relate to Kate Winslet's character Iris in the movie! I guess I've mentioned this before!
I loved that movie, it's one of my most favorite flicks!

Times when you feel bad about yourself. When people actually walk over you! When certain circumstances make you second guess yourself! When certain unexpected people hurt you in an unexpected manner unintentionally!
I need a hug! :( :(
I wish I could talk it out to someone... anyone!!
But I would never allow myself to do that...

Just out of habit...

"...you are so stuck in my heart, like counting a million stars, for that many reasons you are...."  -  by C21 :) :) :)

I feel so thoughtless at the moment... Like there's just nothing to talk about or write about... Anyway, it just came to me that I haven't donated blood and it's been more than 3months since I last did... I should do it soon now.

Since a few days I'm feeling pretty spaced-out... It always happens during exams; exam period is like a sanctuary for me!!

I had a dream last night about a friend, who's no more in contact... I've been feeling this urge to contact that friend since morning but there's no way to do so!
It's strange how people come in and go out of our life... Few always stay, few stay in the memories only and a few are forgotten...

BBM, Whatsapp, Facebook, Chat messengers etc, have made it so easier for people to socialize... you don't realize when you befriend a stranger and when that new friend becomes your best friend! It's not all that good though... too much socializing can get too annoying!

Sometimes it's so difficult to find the perfect song you wish to hear... Just shuffling through my music folder and no song is really inviting me at the moment!! Music and mood always should go hand in hand!

Found one... "Why do all good things come to an end?" by Nelly Furtado...

Summer is here :( The noons are too sunny and I already feel tanned!

When you desperately want to talk to a person and there are too many emotions to vent out but somehow you never permit yourself to do so... For certain vague reasons, it seems befitting to keep things to yourself!


And, some food for thought:
"What we see mainly depends on what we look for"  (I personally too believe so, substantially!)
"Whatever you can do, or you believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it"

"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." (So true!!)

'Disturbia' by Rihanna ..... 

Self-defiant!!

I decided not to blog today for some strange reasons but then since I had decided not to blog, I had to contradict myself (as always) so here I am!!

I always knew that outward beauty and appearance is all what matters to people... and lately many such incidents have transpired which have proved that I am not under any misconception!
If Mr God has given you a beautiful/handsome face, all kinds of persons (good, bad, fair, dark, wheatish, alluring, ugly, strong, arrogant, feeble, cute, perverted, etc., etc.) will fall for you!!
As I'd mentioned before, our world is full of Shallow Hals!!

Listening to 'Sufi'... I was addicted to the song, when it was out... though I am not that fond of it now but I still like it!

Lonesome walks in the dark, with mild and soothing music playing on the headphones along with a little bit of humming, on deserted streets - :) :) :)

Untimely acne- aggravating!!!

'Stolen' by Raagav is another one time favorite that's playing on my PC playlist!

Anyway,
It's so easy to fall in love with anyone! I reminisce reading this article in some newspaper once, that the feeling of love is nothing but secretion of certain hormones in your body... well, I really don't remember the names of those "love hormones" but yeah, they are the ones which cause that "rush" in your heart! You can easily feel this rush, as in the body can very easily produce these hormones, it doesn't matter whether it is the "right person" or not... your body doesn't know right or wrong!
I really have started to believe in the potency of this article, you know! It's pretty cogent!
Of course, I am aware of the concept of "platonic love" and I've also read about it a lot but one cannot oversee the rarity of it! I am not being pessimistic but really, platonic love that too with your own partner is not something that's customary!

"Naked" by Enrique and Dev is my current favorite!!

101

I love you my Bachchulin... You are the only person who respects me, who bears all my tantrums, who accepts my dominance, who listens to me, who loves me even when I yell at the top of my voice! There can be no one like you. And whenever I tell you, you are the most important person in my life... I really mean it!

We never feel like we have it all, even if we really have it all!!

There are certain things that I don't like about certain people but I can't really change them... though I can change myself in certain aspects... Easier said than done!!

.......................

Just words.

Afraid. Awry. Blank. Lost. Hopes. Disappointments. Morbid. Weary. Nauseous. Sad. Crying. Hug. Mistaken. Sorry. Rummaging. Music. Burned. Vagrant. Wishes. Lackadaisical. Enervated. Dreams. Sluggish. Love. Hate. Helpless. Reviving. Music. Zoning. Fucked-up. 

..........

 P.S.: This is my 101st blogpost; thus the title.

Actually...

Sometimes when you truly start feeling that something good is actually here, things are really working out well and this is your time.... suddenly it turns out you were totally mistaken and it was nothing but a fake mirage!

Music- Always here to make things right for me! I love music. Can't do without it! 

Even now, it feels as though the beats are charging me up with optimism,when my heart is kinda sinking!

Doing wrong things, knowing they are wrong all through but still continuing to do them stubbornly BUT never actually regretting them, is what I always do. And strangely, I've accepted me like that! Again, I know it's wrong to actually accept such a way of life and continue doing it. But this is me now! Can't help it, really!!

"Nain parindey" from the movie Lafangey parindey... soulful!

"Grace Kelly" by Mika is one song that I loved years back, then I got bored of it and now again I like it!

"I tried to be like Grace Kelly

But all her looks were too sad

So I tried a little a Freddy, (ooooh)

I've gone identity mad!"

This song helps me feel more comfortable in my own skin, when I am bothered by the judgments and conjectures about me! Listening to it right now... and loving it!!

You know, they say that never let anyone else control your emotional buttons... but being a human it is not possible to do that unless you are some saint or a yogi or whatever! It's fine to be sad for a while. Why do people consider being sad as a bad thing? I mean, it's okay...only you should know how to change back to being happy!!

Also, sometimes it's better to keep your sadness and anxiety to yourself. Because when you open your heart about it to people and they don't say the words you want to hear, it only makes you more mad!!  

And YOU... better get out of the door! Hah... YOU don't matter now!! Actually, YOU never did!!!

Poker-faced.....

"Dilemma" by Nelly (featuring Kelly) lists amongst those 1st favorite English numbers of mine. I was in school and used to listen to this song all day! Also, "Get down" by Backstreet boys... Man, I was crazy about this song...
"I feel like heaven when I look in your eyes, 
I know that you're the one for me.
You drive me crazy cz you're one of a kind,
I want your lovin baby and I want it right now woahoahoah woahoah...."  

How do you know that he/she is the one for you???
I don't think one can ever know... at least I can't!
Maybe that's the feeling you get when you are enamored and smitten by that person but you may not incessantly and invariably feel so! I wish there was some certain way to know that because then there would be no perplexity. As it is I am like this big befuddled glob of pensiveness and thoughtlessness! See, my perception about me itself is so paradoxical and bamboozled! Sometimes I really feel... Mera kuch nahi ho sakta...!!

Listening to 'Poker face' by Lady Gaga...

I sometimes feel my heart is poker-faced! I myself can never be sure of what it wants!

When you know what is that something, that's missing but you can't really help it.
When you prefer being ignorant about things because accepting them and facing them is not a cinch.

When you say "never" purposefully because you want the "never say never" to work there!
When you want something so desperately and so eagerly, since ages but there are still no signs of it getting any closer and it really is not in your hands, at all!! That feeling of helpless restlessness can be tackled only by being oblivious and blithe. You know, those things that are totally dependent on your destiny... I guess ignorance really is bliss, there!!
Just wishing and hoping......

Alas, the mirthful wintertide went away :( :( This was the best winter of my life, till date. I wish to witness this sublimity and jocundity every year!

"Auntyji" and "Gubbare" from EMAET - I love!


Lastly, Happy Birthday Mom. I Love you! I really do...Maybe more than I will ever know!

Zoned out

There's a world in which we actually live, there's a world we've never been to, there's a world we think we are living in, there's a world where everyone else except you breathes in and then there's your world built with a million of your constantly changing thoughts and experiences. 

A chat with a friend made me wonder that everyone really does wonder...  

It was good. Although I wanted to make sure that the person I was chatting with, gets me properly but then... how does it matter?!! Well, as far as I discerned even that friend was trying to be more expositional. Moreover, I don't care about whether we comprehend each other or not; it was just good to know that I am not the only freakshow... all of us are! Well, if not all... at least I know a few who are! ;)

Those gospels that you are invariably aware of but still you need an awakening, every now and then, to remind you of their existence! It's weird isn't it... we don't really forget them but we still forget them!

I hate mosquitoes, they are present everywhere I go, in every nook and cranny!! They've invaded my house too!! Freaking 'Goodnight' has no effect... it feels as though they apply some 'Goodnight' repellent on themselves! Aaarrghhh.... I hate them! I know no one loves them BUT they really are loathsome... they are blood-suckers after all! It got me thinking, how did the first ever mosquito came to life?? And why... why did Mr God had to create any mosquitoes?!

Speaking of blood-suckers, I know a few humans also who are good at it... they are like human-mosquitoes except I can't really kill them with a single clap!

Times when you are surrounded by a group of chatty people and you are still talking to yourself instead of them!

Bumping into my favorite green tea flavor accidentally, after months, when I just concluded that they must've stopped producing it, in a store where I'd never expected to find any kind of green tea.... :) :) :) 

Life is unpredictable, all of us know and have experienced since birth. I like it... the unpredictability! Be it good or bad or happy or sad! I really like it! :)

'Don't think of me' by Dido... sweetly wicked :) ;) 

And the song that's STILL on my mind...

"Only you, only you, my beautiful dream I loved you.

Only you, only you, you gave me your heart." 

The other day 'Notting hill' reminded me of the song 'You say it best when you say nothing at all'. I love that song... I used to listen to it umpteen times in a day, back in college! 

And now, I am sick of only planning IT... I wish I could just precipitate myself somehow into IT... just headlong!!

Totally random!

Just when I am about to hit the bed, I take a final look in the mirror and see my hair falling perfectly. Why can't the hair look that good when I have to go out?! 
Well, perhaps my hair looks the same even then. It's just my perception, just because I am going to be sleeping and getting up looking like a wreckage, I feel the hair is too good to be slept with! But, when I get ready for an occasion, nothing in the world can make me believe that I am looking fine for the day!
Humans... Never satisfied!


The more time I spend around people, the lesser I know me for that day!


'Notting Hill' is a lovely romantic movie! 
I saw 'Ek main aur ek tu' last week. I liked the movie, it was quite realistic! Maybe that's the reason many people around me did not like it! 
People like to see rom-coms or love stories because of their happy endings. 'Ek main aur ek tu' did not have a happy ending, rather it did not have an ending at all! The hero was still hoping in the climax that he'll win the heroine over and the movie ended without giving the audience any exact conclusion. So people were disappointed! Many real life love stories actually end in 'HOPE'. Sometimes, you get the person you want and sometimes you have to accept things and move on!


And, 
it's not good to perceive someone as you want them to be, rather than what they really are! This is nothing but fooling your own self! 


I am humming Rihanna's 'Pon De Replay'... I don't know how, this song suddenly struck me after ages!
"Come, Mr DJ song pon de replay. Come, Mr DJ won't you turn the music up?........"


Oftentimes, you don't feel contented living some moments, only once. You wish you could re-live them again and again! Just the way we can hear the same song any number of times we want. 
But then, at least we have been given the liberty to reminisce those moments and imagine re-living them! See... Mr God always has own way of giving us whatever we wish for, it's just us... who never acknowledge his givings! 


Adieu!!