Promises are meant to be broken!

Promises... I have never believed in them, no matter how close the person making the promise is to me or what relation do I share with that person. I don't know why everyone else believes?!
'Promises are meant to be broken', a saying that was encrypted in my veins at a very young age. 


A very good friend, whom I just spoke to, became yet another victim to "promises"! I just hope and pray that Mr God gives my friend all the strength to deal with these dire circumstances!


They say, you should not see the promises made but the intentions of the person who made them... All of it is crap because people change and so do their intentions... 


Assurances, guarantees, promises, commitments... are mere words that are cogent and help you convince others... that's it!


Anyway so,
Why do some people find it difficult to accept singlehood?!
A friend, who has been 'single since birth', is brooding and sulking at being so & has eaten up all of my tiny little brain... haha...
How crazy can you get! I mean, seriously, go date any guy/gal you want to if you are so eager, it's as simple! This is not something to moan about!


And,
'Rang de basanti' - The movie of my generation.
There is nothing about this movie that I don't love! The background score, songs, screenplay, dialogues, acting, locations, etc everything is more than perfect!


In the last 3 days, I've seen like 9 horror/thriller flicks and I'm still not done! :D :) 


  

hmm...

18th and 19th of May have been the best days of 2012 for me, by far!

Writing, dancing, drinking, good food, long drive, laughing, friends, fun and everything that I like and have been wanting to do, happened in these 2 days! 

And,

A little pissed with the scenario around me right now!

Aaaarrrggghhh!

Don't know how to deal with myself in this situation....

Hoping and hoping and hoping and still hoping.....

Why can't rationality and positivity go hand in hand, for once?!
If I am positive, I am being impractical and if I am practical, then I lack a positive attitude...


So how do I do this?
Should I be positive about the future outcomes and then accept whatever that transpires later? 
OR 
Should I practice a rational approach, stop weaving stupid dreams and living in denial and accept what might happen in the future, right from the beginning?
.......................
Jeez... I guess, I'll keep oscillating between the two, because we can never decide what we want to feel or think... maybe we try to curb those feelings when they erupt at first but we can never stop them from coming to life...


hmm....


A Jewish proverb, "I ask not for lighter burden, but for broader shoulders".


The other day, I was watching SNL and I saw this gig where Justin Timberlake was a bottle of beer and Lady Gaga played a bottle of wine.... I loved that gig and the way JT said "Bring it on down to liquorville" each time, was H-O-T!!


Things, people that you leave behind... and times when you wish you could still have them... Isn't it strange, when we can have it, we never want it and once it's gone and not available anymore, you feel as though you always wanted it... 
ABSURD is the word for us humans!

And, 
When someone suddenly gets the life you've always dreamed of... the exact same things happen to them that you happened to dream (or rather day-dream) to be happening with you... and now you are just a mere spectator to all of it... it leaves you stumped, blued, speechless and exasperated!!!
And then comes acceptance... which marks the beginning of your new set of dreams!!


I am becoming unhinged by each passing day.... DUDE, wake up and let bygones (really) be bygones!! 


Anyway just 2 days more and a different shade of craziness will begin... I wanted things to go well so that I would welcome this new phase with a HUGE smile... nevertheless, I can still manage an average smile ;)


'Hit the road Jack' by Ray Charles always sets my mood up! What a pep-up!

Shit.... I am totally wigging out right now!!
*Gasp*
Don't wanna talk it out to anyone....
But seriously I am feeling extremely unnerved at the moment!
..............
Why did I do this?!!
Fuckshit!!

*Gasp*
I need to calm down now!
Okay.... *Sigh*
C'mon, just collect yourself sedately...
And, solemnly try to mend things...

Damn!!

Ayo Ayo Ayo...

"Other dancers may be on the floor 
Dear but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weak..."
'Sway' by Michael Buble, speaks -suave romance from the 80s and SALSA- to me.
It's an evergreen magical number!

Too many things going on in my head, just as usual, but I am unable to find a way to articulate them... Feel like talking to someone but don't know whom?! Some are busy and those who aren't, don't fit the bill.

Haha... 'We are the champions' by Queen is being played on the playlist and this reminds me of a stupid friend!

The feeling you get after an evening sleep is obnoxiously awful! I hate to sleep in the evenings!

Can't wait to begin writing again! Just a week more... I hope my excitement and enthusiasm pays off! :D

I was never a Coldplay fanatic, in fact their music to me was - boredom! But, I've come to like them now! Yet another late realization!

Exams give you a kind of feeling that nothing else can! Damn... so many hopes, aspirations, disappointments, fear, anxiety, over-solemnity, cynicism, premonitions, desires and many more of such emotions keep gushing inside, all through the examination days! All of these feelings, thoughts and emotions happen to invade your heart even otherwise but during exams, they have a different and outlandish shade!

And,
'Superstar' by Jamila- always makes me sing out loud!
"Baby take a look around...Ayo Ayo Ayo...
Everybody's getting down... Ayo Ayo Ayo..."
It's a hit from college! :) :) 

International Love- Pitbull feat. Chris Brown - COOLNESS
The song has not gone off my playlist since quite a few months!!

And, still crazy about 'Naked' by Enrique and Dev!

When...

Times when you feel dead... Times when you wish you were dead...


When you feel umpteen emotions together running in your veins and the volume of those emotions is enough to implode all your blood vessels! And just then you feel simply nothing... 


When there are only questions... 


Why??


When you want someone to walk away forever, no matter how agonizing it is for that someone or even for you... just for the sake of your mind's limpidity...


'We're holding on, letting go' by Ross Copperman.... the song feels perfect at the moment....


When you've gone adrift and music still helps....
Can't live without it... 


................................................................


When nothing helps... when you abjure all help...


It's the same old roller-coaster feeling... when you know nothing and either you're emotionless or at the crest of emotions...


"Zombie" by Cranberries... because some songs never lose the magic.


...........................................................................
Overwrought and sentimentally nauseous

'Pani Da' from Vicky Donor :) :)
(love it from the bottom of my heart... the music, the lyrics, the tune...love it...this song carries magic!)
Ayushman Khurana is one cute cum sexy thing on this planet!


'Everything I do' by Bryan Adams <3

"Pareshaan" from Ishaqzaade (a song that I fell in love with the moment I heard it!)
"Know your enemy" by Greenday
"Set fire to the rain" by Adele


Music always comes to my rescue...

Though I'm still feeling enervated!

Not the time to cower!!

And the machine started working again :)

Mr God knew it very well that I need this now, so he decided to swing his magic wand and start my rickety computer! And also, Paa got a new spike-guard for it ;P

*sigh*

Gave my second exam today, it too dint go well, just like the 1st one! I so wanted this to be it! I am kinda stuck in this stolid elongated "study" phase... I know there are many others like me but that really doesn't help! 

I know I am stuck here, I know I am culpable for it, I know I myself will have to try hard and get out of here! 

*gasp*

I am so lost at the moment! Perhaps whatever did I was not up-to the brink. Perhaps some stones were still unturned, some pages were still unflipped... 

When the one who is to be blamed is you yourself... there are no words... seriously!

Nonetheless 6 more to go... Maybe things dint go well up until now but that doesn't mean I'm gonna sit back... I may have lost hopes but I am not gonna lose on the hard work... I'll continue with my efforts, though MY efforts are or won't be enough but that won't keep me back from trying... I don't know whether I will make it or not but certainly know I will not quit! At least not now!

It's getting arduous to maintain positivism... I have been a little negative since last 3-4 days but then when it comes to rationality, rigid positivism seems like denial... 

Anyway... whatever it is, it's not gonna wince me down... I will go on unflinchingly!!

Had read a quote long back, which was something like... Magic happens only when you believe in yourself...
I don't know how far I believe in myself but I know I am not quitting!!