When the inconceivable happens...

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey is an incredible number
"Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere 
Nothing scares me anymore."

In her shoes - the movie. 

..........

They fell in love years back. They were not perfect, but they knew how to love each other perfectly. Years went by. The love remained the same, grew rather. Until 'change' came.
He met new people, he saw a new shade of life, he loved it, he changed. Because he wanted to.
She still stood there. Watching him become a stranger. Hoping it to be a plain phase. She waited long.
He was a different person now. It was the same old her.
She was helpless. They were supposed to be together 'forever' and he had simply vanished. There was this stranger disguised to be him, but it was not him.
He's not a bad person. He's not wrong or culpable.
She cried, yelped, prayed, feared... It's over.


How do you trust anyone after something like this happens? How do you trust anyone after knowing something like this can happen?

Being a mere spectator to this is so saddening and perturbing. I can't gauge the intensity of the pain and hurt she would be carrying in her heart right now. And, that he would, I believe, will go through at some given point of time in future.

Love is an illusion. Togetherness is a delusion. I was right in believing so.
.......

When no one succeeds in comforting you.
When no one manages to get even a faint smile on your face.
When no one cares enough for that little moment.
When no one makes you feel loved and wanted.
It's time you stop fretting about it and be there for yourself.
Only you can love you the way you've wanted to be loved.


Eagerly waiting for the exit of October heat and the mystical entry of the wonderous wintertide.


I wish...
Why do we wish so much!

And, the blankness prevails...

I have fallen in love with this little tale. It won't leave my mind. I've been repeating it over and over again in my head.

When an ugly event from past decides to revisit your mind...

And, to you,
I buried the very thought of being like we used to be, months back.Yet you manage to hurt me each time I think about us. But, I'm fine. Really.

Life is full of people who'll keep finding flaws in you and your work, whether the faults truly exist or not, whether with good intentions or bad. You have to learn how not to be demoralized and keep going on.
When they say that you should take it positively, ask them fuck themselves, and simply ignore.
Because when you've heard bad things about yourself all your life, they fail to serve any kind of inspirational or motivational purpose after a while.

Having said that, constructive criticism should always be welcomed because that helps you learn and grow, in every aspect of your life.

I wish...
Why do we wish so much!

Oh yeah... my net is working, and I'm networking!

"....So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older..."

EDM is addictive! Literally!

What do you prefer chat or call?

In olden day, like really old, when there was no phone, the only way people could communicate was by meeting each other. Communication was not restricted to the use of words, but it included expressions, body language and the tone of voice. 

Then Graham came up with telephone, communication now happened conveniently, and without expressions and body language.  

Some Mr. Martin Cooper invented cellular phones in 1970s, which added to the convenience.  

And, Wikipedia affirms..

"SMS messaging was used for the first time on 3 December 1992, when Neil Papworth, a 22-year-old test engineer for Sema Group in the UK[2] (now Airwide Solutions),[3] used a personal computer to send the text message "Merry Christmas" via the Vodafone network to the phone of Richard Jarvis.[4][5]"

The SMS service made our lives more easy. As years passed, brilliant minds kept re-inventing technology, and thus, convenience.

Now, we have messaging apps like Whatsapp, Hike, BBM, etc.   

Communication is easier than ever, and doesn't require the tone of voice now. Mere usage of words is enough. And, our choice words today represent us more than ever. 

I would like to list some other benefits apart from convenience that 'chatting' has provided us with:

• You can hide your true feelings in a better way because there is no one looking in your eyes or noticing the hesitation in your voice
• You can totally pretend to be someone you are not, who's gonna know? 
• You can even couple up with a bunch of friends and flirt with one girl/boy together, without her/him even getting to know about it. Sounds fun, eh?
• Basically, you can lie easily, about EVERYTHING!

How cool is that? 

Or how lame is that?

You decide for yourself. It's pretty subjective.

P.S.: Deliberate usage of terms like 'cool', 'lame', 'totally', and 'like' has been made in this post so it reads like today's generation, 'as in' we, talk... rather chat. 

When your dreams are different from those that your loved ones have for you... What would you do?

If you walk on the path that makes you happy, that seems right to you, work towards making your dreams come true... wouldn't you be called selfish, ruthless and callous?

Because you are hurting the ones who love you the most by not doing what they think is best for you.

If you take the road they think will bring you all the happiness in the world, you are not being you. It's someone else's life. You are being unfair to your ownself.

It's a difficult choice to make, but there is no other way out of this situation. Circumstances like these tell you if you believe more in yourself or your loved ones.

The Weekly

When other people's thought process inspires you...

Not because they are very intellectual or righteous, but because they seem to be more sorted about certain things in life, which you are not.

Sometimes despite of knowing that you should not be thinking about certain things because pondering and planning will not help at all, you still continue obsessing about it.

These are those things/outcomes/situations that depend on your destiny. You wondering about will they or won’t they happen is not going to help. It will simply keep you engaged in day-dreaming, which keeps you from paying heed to reality. So, you would be neglecting your present while imagining what your future would be like. How dumb is that? Yet, we all do it.

Being around happy people living not so happy lives inspires me to be happier in life.

Sleep deprivation leaves you cranky.

Unless you start walking in a certain direction you won’t know if it is the right path that you've taken. Moreover, what’s the worst that can happen, you will discover it’s not the right path. You might fail badly or hurt yourself or have a heart break, but eventually there will be a learning that you won’t forget for the rest of your life. It won’t be anything that you won’t be able to bear. After all, that’s what life is all about, right? Making mistakes and taking lessons. So don’t be scared to do something your heart wishes to do.

Music

Greyhound

Crank it up

Wake me up - AVICII

Born to die - Lana Del Rey

Aye Zindagi - Suryaveer (Prague)

"...Aye zindagi gale lagale. 

Humne bhi tere har ek gum ko gale se lagaya hain, hain naa..."

I wish I could read your mind. I wish I could obey my mind. 

I wish... Why do we wish so much!

P.S.: This post has been written little by little all week. Thus, the title. 

   

The Magic called Music.

The only thing that has kept me going today is Music! EDM to be precise.

SAVIORS OF THE monDAY:
Hardwell
Avicii
Boneless
Best of Tomorrowland Vol. I Chaquea Mix

In order to live in the present, we have to stop anticipating the future. We all know that, right? Then why don't we concentrate on today, everyday? Why on somedays we prefer to dream about how it will be like in the days to come? Why can't we keep the dreaming bit for the night? Why day-dream?
Perhaps, because it gives us hopes.
But, what about the unnecessary expectations that start popping due to these hopes?
Now, that's life, isn't it? Learning to deal with unnecessary expectations... from yourself, from people, and from Mr. God.

I feel like going dancing tonite! :D

Warning! Mushy stuff ahead.

Friend... not anymore...

When I see you, I can't see a friend anymore. All I see is disappointment, and I am sure you too feel the same. It's just sad how two people, who understood each other completely, suddenly fall apart so badly. Maybe, they were never meant to be together. How I wish, for once, you could know what the real problem was, how you brutally ripped my soul... and, rather than agreeing to the problem, you would just put an end to it... Sadly, it did not happen and I know it never will because you are not the person who cares enough... enough to bring those days back in MY life. And, for the record, your relationship was never the issue, really. 

Trust me on this one, it's because of you that my belief in the word "Trust", which was almost dying anyway, has faded away completely. You may have lost a friend but I lost a part of me, and this is not an exaggeration. It's not a scar, it's an open wound, which will never heal. Partly, because I won't ever allow it to heal. 

I'm not blaming you. I know, I have made my share of mistakes, but I just wanted you to make things better whereas you went on making them worse. 

And now, to a certain someone...   

You make me happy. Please continue doing so.  

The butterflies in my tummy are not ready to leave. They love it here it seems! :) :D 

Disclaimer. This is just another bundle of rants.

I am really not the emotional person I used to be. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate or respect my friendships and relationships. I still am a human.

Uff! I'm just sick of being the incapable friend for everyone. Can't they just cut me some slack? Let me be. Not expect anything from me. My expectations anyway have all faded away. Nothing in life is going so wrong that I'm emotionally disturbed or anything. I'm just a more relaxed person, with a temper.

Having said all that, I still NEED people in my life! They all think I need to be left alone and I don't care anymore. Someone has rightly stated, "Presumption is the mother of all fuck-ups."

I don't understand how to explain! 

It's such a disappointment to be misunderstood by the people you thought understood you more than anyone else.

While having a heated argument today, a friend said, "You are at loss."

Sigh..

I know that and I even said it. Everyone's just walking away or I'm making them do so, perhaps. Whatever be the reason, I'm the one who's being abandoned, right? So, it has to be my loss.

Here's one big THANK YOU to EACH 'Friend' who has very conveniently (or not so conveniently) given up on me! True, you have left a vacuum in my life but you have also saved me from the guilt of being a disappointment in the name of a friend.
(This is not out of fury or melancholy, I mean it in a very positive and mature way. I can't be who you want me to be anymore and if you can't accept that, it's good for you to leave. I'll deal with it.)

And, This is not self-pity! I just know the nature of problems everyone seems to have with me and I don't feel like working on them and I don't feel sorry for myself for that. 

Once a friend in one of her blogs had called me an extremely emotional shit and hated me for being so. When I stopped being so, she said I've changed and hated me for that. It was funny and sad at the same time. 

Anyway...

By now I've understood that it's not a 'phase', it's my way of life. Because, that's how things have been since almost a year now and I'm pretty much okay with my social behavior, opinions and perspective. I have accepted myself with the so called 'change', only they haven't!

I won't say I'm sad but I'm not happy either. I'm just fine.

Conclusion: I have forgotten everything about the art of maintaining relationships. And, I'm not being pardoned for this crime.

I'm on this mad binging spree since a long time now! I should stop. I've gained a lot of unnecessary weight.

Songs that I can relate to, recently...
Dead and gone- JT
One step closer- Linkin Park

Awaiting certain changes. Positive ones, of course.