I abuse.

It is not leaving my mind.
The thought that a man cannot accept his woman using cuss words!

Why?
Why is it so difficult?

When we (the female fraternity) can accept most of your flaws - your swearing, your uncleanliness, your phobia for commitment, etc. - why can't you accept the same?

I need to calm down.

Okay so,
The society has fed you that girls are coy, polite and docile. So I cannot really blame you for thinking so. But should I also not expect you to broaden your horizons of thinking? Can I not expect you to lose the orthodox school of thought? Is it so difficult to have an open mind? Does unconventionality scare you? Are you so feeble that anything that does not conform to the norms of the 'society' is unacceptable for you? Are you not strong enough to take it? Or are you afraid of the equality in speech?

Whatever it is... It's your problem, not mine. Loathe me! I don't give a fuck! I abuse!

Links for an Indian woman

You may have seen these videos before as they gained a lot of popularity, but I would like to share them again.

Happy Women's Day! Really?

I saw a women’s day parade happening near Ghatkopar Station on 8^th March, around 4:30 in the evening. For the first time on that day, I could feel the spirit of International Women’s Day, and was pretty happy that ladies are coming out and celebrating womanhood. 

Just 2 days after women's day, it's 9:30pm, I am walking from a friend's place towards home, and a biker pulls over near me. He asks me for an address, I guide him. As he gets ready to leave, instead of saying thank you, the guys throws a disgusting, lewd comment and speeds away.

Girls will find it disgusting, but they won't find it surprising because all of them have faced this and even worse already. Guys, on the other hand, may not justify this creep, but will ask me to be more cautious and careful.

There is worst that has happened in the past so I am really glad that this guy did not touch me and simply left after the comment. But why even that comment? Why is it so common? Why should I take it?

I know, people will agree that it is unacceptable, but we women still have to accept it! We have no other option, do we? Eve teasing, molestation, lewd comments and rapes are all a part of our society now. And it not just resides in a single part or area of the society, but is scattered all over.

I have nothing new to say. It's all been said and done. Feminists have been voicing their opinion against this. Men, on the other hand, have been constantly displaying their annoyance towards women generalizing on the basis of these dirty acts of some males.

There is so much I wish to say. There are so many emotions gushing inside me. But I choose not to say anything anymore. At least, not at the moment. Because I know it will all fall on deaf ears. No one can help me. This is going to happen to me again. This has been happening and will continue to happen with my girl friends, my mum, my sisters, my daughter and all other women I know and do not know. I can't do anything to help them. I can't do anything to help me.

These safety apps, helpline numbers, pepper spray and other little weapons are not always helpful. The ogling won't stop. If you are a female, every of your body part will be minutely examined even when when it is convered with layers of cloth, and you cannot do anything about it. There always will be lecherous eyes lurking around. Deal with it!  

On girls and their friendships

This entire concept of 'BFF' has been a joke with me. I have never had a friend who has been my BFF. I do have long-running friendships, which I know are going to be there with me throughout my life. But I am talking about that one best friend who knows you better than yourself, who is a part of your everyday life, just like a boyfriend/girlfriend. You will always have other close friends, but you and her share a bond that is more special. And more than anything, it's not a temporary affair.

I have had my share of failed BFF-ships until I finally concluded that maybe I am not the kind of person who can maintain consistency in any sort of relationship. But this conclusion seems like a foolish excuse for escapism.
Perhaps, you don't want to take too many efforts to save a friendship because all other relationships - like with your family and partner - require enough struggle.
Why do we take our friendships so lightly?
(I have walked out on some of my good friends in the past, and there have been some who have abandoned me. So I am not removing my frustration on anyone here in this post.)

In my social circuit, there are a couple of examples, where I've seen two girls maintaining their best-friendship over years. Their ship has been successfully sailing through the sea of changing scenarios. Touch wood.
I had met two BFFs yesterday, and I was so happy to have them around. They share this great bond, which may have taken enough efforts, I'm sure, to be the way it is, but they did it, and maybe without even realizing that they have actually taken pains for the survival of this special bond.
When people say they have never had fights and arguments with their best friends, it is because they understood that it was unnecessary and unimportant.
The rest who have survived all the misunderstandings and disagreements, must be nurturing their friendship with sufficient reassurances, security, love and expression.

Well, I feel it's a mark of being a good human if you have a 'BFF' because this kind of bond, being platonic, has the least selfishness involved, neither is there an obligation of being related by blood.

What's New?

When you meet new people, you connect real good with some of them while you don't click with the rest.
New people come in life with a new set of expectations. I'm not talking about what they would be expecting from you, I'm speaking of the expectations you will build up in your mind.
Its very important to know how to detach yourself from certain people, things, situations. To lead a happy life one has to learn how to detach.

Living in the moment.

Everything fades away - Poets of Fall 

Suddenly life has started running at a jet speed, it feels as though I'm losing some of the very important things. in the meanwhile. I hope its only a feeling and not actual.

Yesterday while I was returning home in a BEST bus, a lady was being troubled by a lecherous creep. I was sitting on the seat ahead of her so I couldn't see what was happening. Suddenly this guy standing near my seat started abusing that creep very badly. It broke my sleep and I had no clue what was happening, then of course I came to know when others also yelled and abused the creep and threw him out of the bus. What was appalling, the lady never uttered a word, she was simply sitting there and letting this asshole touch herself! If women keep taking it all, staying mum in fear, they are not worth any sympathy. Sexual harassment will keep on happening. When you don't speak up, it leads to consent because silence can be interpreted in any way. And, not always, will there be someone who will fight for you!

  

I guess...

The big big bang by Rock Mafia - LOVE IT!

If you think that you can get us anytime you want... you are highly mistaken!! We know to stand for ourselves and we aren't scared or ashamed of doing so!! - To all those jerks who take us women as weak objects!

Some old connections losing the shine and some new ones coming into picture... Is it a phase or that's how its supposed to be?
Only time will tell...

Today I was feeling like I should try to reconnect with a few very old friends, who haven't been in touch for months now but I did not get the time to do so... I guess, the feeling was not strong enough to make me take some time out for reconnecting.

25 days left for the exams. Not a good feeling.

I always enjoy listening to All I want is you from the movie Juno.

Priorities. Funny word. It changes its meaning every now and then. Meaning and not definition.

Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen has been consistent on my playlist for weeks now...
'....Hey I just met you 
and this is craxy
but here's my number 
so call me maybe

It's hard to look right 
at you baby 
but here's my number 
so call me maybe...'

Whenever I'm asked to choose who's right and who's wrong out of two friends who are having a disagreement or out of my mom and my brother when they fight, it's just so hard, I can never decide or rather I can but I don't know how to tell the wrong one (as per me), they are wrong.
Sigh...
Mr God how do you do it all the time?! Your job is tough, indeed. Being the decision maker is never easy, not even if you are God.

That reminds me, I wanna watch 'Oh my God' but I guess, that'll be only after my exams now.

And,
Abbreviating the film name was started by the Johars I guess. DDLJ K3G KANK, etc. and now SOTY for 'Student of the year'! Although all film-makers do it now.

Listening to Payphone by Maroon 5, I don't like it that much though.

Damn, this "October heat" is killing me!

And lastly,
You have just lost it. I never thought you would. Bah... I over-estimated you and under-estimated me. Haha... Nonetheless, it's just good to know that I really did learn that lesson in the past and am carrying it with me. Yes, it wasn't easy back then but that was long time back and I realized how it was all planned by Mr God just so that I could have my little epiphany. Now, the time has changed... I always thought you had changed but... I don't know about you, I surely have... for good. It was a disorder, I maybe still having it but it's under the surface and I'm gonna try to hide it there for the rest of my life cause it's certainly not easy to get rid off once it shows up.

P.S.: The post is titled 'I guess...' because of the frequent usage of this expression in here. 

So much for gender equality!!

If you are a girl and you smoke... you are a slut!!
If you are guy and you smoke... you are either hot or no one cares!!

I feel sorry for all the female smokers who have to be undercover when taking a fag!! 

Yes, India is a free country and democratic too but the society is still living in the past!!

Whether to smoke/drink or not is a personal choice!! I don't think anyone should form inferences on this basis!

Well, perhaps I can say this because I've had and still have plenty smokers and drinkers in my family... But still, you cannot address someone with contempt just because they drink or smoke!!

The sad thing is... it's not only the middle-aged or oldies who have this sick mentality... it's our own generation too!

You hate smoking or drinking because of health issues- Acceptable! 
But, you bitch and talk ill about a girl just because SHE practices it- You are sick jerk!!

Today, a friend (who smokes) had a bad experience and she shared it with me and somehow, I wasn't amazed at all at the backwardness and single-mindedness that still exists in OUR society!! 

I am so sick of this cheap male chauvinist society! And, MEN... someone should tell them that they not GODS!! 

:-/

P.S.: This was not unnecessary ranting! But, it is a manifestation of the persisting sexual bias in the Indian society!  

I hate rains! ;) :P

Yes, I am a feminist! So... Is that a problem?! Umm... I don't think so ;)


'God is a girl'- an all time favorite!


'Promiscuous girl' by Nelly Furtado is on the radio. I guess it came out when I was in SYJC and me & one of my cousins were all gaga about it... I still like that number.
"It's okay, it's alright, I got something that you don't like..."
Back then, Nelly Furtado was all that I used to listen all day!


And the monsoon has begun.... 
Shew... finally, the summer is done with!!


Speaking of monsoon, just yesterday a friend popped up the same old mysterious question... 'Why are you single?'
Hahaha... okay so I've never understood how to answer that question and as far as I remember, each time, I've answered different
So yaa... we were talking about rains and I mentioned how I hate them, on that she said ' Once you get into a relationship, you'll love rains!' and I said 'Umm Okay!!!!'
This friend is not the first girl who has made this statement. A few of my other girlfriends had also said the same once...
Okay so let me make it clear, I hate rains but I don't hate monsoon! Meaning I hate the wetness, the dampness and the swamp about monsoon but I truly love the sweet and mellow fragrance of the soil embedded in the swirling monsoon breeze and of course, the floral greenery!! hmmmm.... I love that and what I love more is a stroll in such weather, PROVIDED it's not raining or even drizzling and the roads are not all that damp and swampy!! 
Pretty complicated huh...that's why to make it short and avoid the excess blabber, I say I hate rains! 
Anyway so,
these are the things that I like and dislike about monsoon and I don't think, I know that this will remain the SAME despite of what my relationship status is!!!
Phew... 
Why do people make a big deal about singlehood? 
To this, a friend answered, 'Because everyone around you is dating so being single really becomes a big deal!!'
Damn... it's ridiculously hilarious!


'You give the strength to me' - love the song! 


New in town- nice movie :)

Rightly wrong!

I feel, everyone around me is either getting married or hitched or committed. I guess, this is the age as per the Indian norms, where the girl is like a ripe mango, ready to be plucked!
(Do not read it with a perverted mind because I'm pretty serious!)


Whenever my parents come back from a social gathering, they bring up this topic of marriage. Just like we have our own peer pressure, they too have this societal peer pressure on them. Since ages, this has been prevalent in India, girls have to be put in a wedlock at an early age. This is how the system works here.


When my folks see other peoples daughters getting married at 21/22... they also feel like getting their daughter married ASAP and almost all parents are like that! They are not wrong on their part. 
It's like a marketing strategy. If one company reduces the price of their product, their competitors will also have to slash down the prices in order to maintain the competition and sustain their customers. Similarly, if there are a set of people ready to give their girls out for marriage at 21. why will any guys family go for a girl who's 25 or above?! So others to will have to get their daughters married at 21 or 22! You know, our society believes, 'younger the better'!!


I fail to understand why the society reckons marriage to be the solution for girls...
(Haha... Ipso facto, this was the topic of my first ever internet article!)


No matter how much I debate with my parents, my family or anyone... there are some rules, in the society, that we'll never be able to break completely. We can be amongst the exception but we cannot expect the society to transform its beliefs! They call it Indian culture but I beg to differ!


I can comprehend the rudiment on which "arranged marriages" ever came into being. I mean, it's good that parents and families, here in India, want their children (boy or girl) to have a partner, a family, a home! 
But, the times have changed... It is not about imitating the western culture, it is about bringing certain necessary mutations in the primitive and orthodox school of norms and beliefs! We, the human beings are evolving with every new generation coming to life... so isn't it important for the society also to evolve and move along, with us?!
I don't mean to degrade or sabotage our great Indian culture, I do value it... but here, culture is not the subject of matter... It's the societal norms and beliefs that I am speaking of!
Arranged marriages are our culture and I respect that but the age bar for the girls is not our culture! The age criterion is an obstinate and dogmatic societal creation! 
It is unjust to the girls, in a way... Maybe not all girls but to the ones like me, they are! 


The funny thing is.... some portion of our generation also believes that marriage is the solution to all their problems and it's not only the girls that I mean here, even the guys believe so!
It's like... 
Relationship troubles- I guess, I should get married!
Career failures- I think, marriage is the only thing left for me.
Family fights- I better get married! 
*gasp*
And, I kid you not, I really do know few such people! 
(Also, girls I can fathom for once, if they think like that because we've been made believe so... BUT the guys?? Now see, such guys are the official 'girl-guys'!! Haha... I am sorry, I'm not being sexist! Really!)


Well,
THEY may be right and I may be wrong here.... But then, I'm known to do things wrongly... so why should I do it right here!!! ;)

INHUMANE

She was a free will

Living her imperfect life in her own little ways

With a face that never failed to sport a smile

Her expressive eyes always filled with umpteen dreams to chase

An optimist who never hoped of anything ugly

She could've never guessed what the fate had conjured up for her

But there came a day which couldn't have been more murky

Her life took a turn which no man could ever decipher

She was lost in her own little world, ambling her way home

Two demons with humanly masks and attire

Appeared out of nowhere and caught her when she was alone

And her innocence was shredded in fire

Their grip was rigidly firm to her dismay  

Their touch was sharper than the incisiveness of hundred knives

She was trying so hard to fight them, to push them away

But all her efforts weren’t enough to match the strength of those two evil lives

They thrashed her, slapped her and ripped off her guise

She tried to shove them off but there was no way she could’ve escaped

She cried, yelled and howled in disgrace, dolor and despise

Yet there came not a single soul to her help… she was raped

Destiny took away all her colors and her smile, left her with darkness to accompany

There she was abandoned in the middle of nowhere with a naked body and a nude heart

All she could feel was a sharp twinge of abashment, woe and melancholy

With a twinge that would last all her life; she fell prey to the devil’s dart

[Rape is an Incorrigible offence. My heart goes out to every such girl, every such woman, who has been a victim to this ghastly human act.] 

Grinning..

'Fooled me again' by Lady Gaga... quirky but I still love it!

"All Men are the same"
You know, there really is some part of this phrase that's honest!
Haha... I may be coming out as a sexist, when looking at some of my blogposts... But I really am not one!
Just that, lately, there are many of these peculiar male characteristics that I've personally stumbled across. Of course, all of them meandering around girls!!
I never had any notions regarding men, I don't have any now either... but yeah, you can say the picture is not all that hazy now, when it comes to them!
LOL... This knowledge though, I don't think is actually conducive but it sure is a joke or a mockery that I share with myself! ;)

'Cry' by Rihanna and 'Broken hearted girl' by Beyonce - :) :( :l

There are people who are invariably uberly confident. There are people who are always dubious of themselves and under-confident. Then, there people who oscillate between being overconfident & confident AND(not or) under-confident & confident... I belong to #3!

Oftentimes, I too do things that I don't like others doing... so, either I should stop being a hypocrite and quit doing them or I should stop complaining about others doing them...isn't it?!

"And, nothing else matters" by Metallica... is evergreen!!

I totally and ardently believe in the saying "Everything happens for a reason"... Even the silliest of things that happen with you, have a hidden purpose lurking around! This doesn't mean that I keep looking around for reasons everywhere or that anyone should ever do so... In time, you always realize, why it had happened... if you are even averagely smart!!!



Marilyn Monroe is someone I pretty much admire... I doubt if there is anyone, who doesn't admire her (or her audacity)!
Some of her quotes that I feel, explain my head also to a certain extent...
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than be absolutely boring!" 
"I restore myself when I'm alone."
"Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about!"
"It's all make believe, isn't it?!"

Feminine!

I can see a slight beam of light coming out of the shut window so there's still a thin ray of hope left... So Mr stupid little brain, are you there?! Hellloooo?! Kindly start working!!!

Why are the heart and head always battling? Can't they for once settle on a single mutual thing?!

I've been listening too much to "Oh Johnny..." since last 2 days. It's a song by 'Andrew sisters'. It was a US chart-buster during the world-war!! I know... it's a very old song but it's very gleeful! 

Also, the soundtrack from the Bolly movie 'Life in a metro' is really good. Too romantic songs, not really my thing but sometimes they work well because the music is amazing (especially the guitar sounds)... When the movie was out years back, everyone was crazy about its songs but I never paid attention and now when people are bored of them... I've started liking them (All thanks to the radio stations that still keep playing them)! This always happens with me...late realizations... most of the times over songs and some of the times with real people!

Girls, females, women... No one can understand them, not even they themselves!

Sometimes we can take it all in good humor and sometimes something said sarcastically can hurt us immensely! 

I know guys who are like that too... in my head, I refer to them as 'girl-guys'!! I mean SOMETIMES it's OK for a guy to think like a girl, exceptions are allowed but dude.. not invariably!! It's easy to tell a girl-guy from the real guys! I personally know quite a few of them! Now, girl-guys are straight men, interested in women. They also have all the male body parts... the only thing they lack is some peculiar and necessary male thinking habits, which I can't elucidate properly... perhaps you'll need the girl-antennas to figure out what I mean here! And NO, I am not referring to the habit of lusting other women... because be it a guy or a girl-guy... they still own testosterone!! 

Anyway,

Why does being called 'fat' always bothers us? 

Maybe because girls have to be thin (not plump, not pudgy, not healthy... but THIN and LEAN) to be accepted by everyone! I don't know who started it... but now it's like the word 'Fat' sounds like an abuse to a girl, at times! I remember, till I was 17, I used to refer someone as 'fat' only if they were highly overweight or obese but as the years passed and my interactions with people increased, I've learnt that even if you are moderately out of proportion then you are freaking FAT!! 

But you know what... Screw you... Go eat yourself up and stop bothering me... I am fat and I don't fucking have a problem with that!!! 

We don't need anyone's acceptance, except our own! Often when people look at us scornfully, we start doubting ourselves (well, most of the girls do)... why do we do that?! However, sooner or later we do realize...we don't need to give a shit about it!

Right now, I am reminded of this song by Lady Sovereign, I enjoyed listening to few years back, that goes..

"Love me or hate me, is that an obsession

love me or hate me, that is the question

if you love me then thank you

if you hate me then fuck you!!"  

It's a fun song, you know! I really like it! ;)

Also, the movie 'Shallow Hal' is coming to my memory, at the moment... It is a good movie with a nice message... Somewhere I feel, all of us are just as shallow as Hal was before the climax of the movie...

And,

Sometimes, you call up a person, looking for warmth but all you get is a gigantic cold ice-cube! 

Sometimes, why is it necessary to hear the words we already know, from someone else?!

Sometimes, healthy flirting is fun! ;)