From House to Home

23 Aug 2020

We are moving! I am so excited for the new house. To live here, to make new memories with him here. I really wish that this house is comfortable and does not have any major problems so we can stay here for longer than a year or two. Because one year seems so less to soak in all the good things it has in store for us. 

This is a new experience for me, this settling into a house that I and he chose together. Bringing all of our belongings here. Arranging & allocating them to specific shelves, drawers, cupboards. 

It feels amazing. This is like the good part of being independent.

Yes, being independent does have a not-so-greatly-enjoyable side too! Like paying bills / cooking and cleaning / planning & saving for early retirement because god knows I cannot be spending most of years of my life earning money (read as evil)! 

Let me not digress... I was talking about the good part... I am excited!

23 Oct 2020

The house is still pretty great! The excitement is gone, but the appreciation has stayed. Just like a happy long-term relationship or marriage. It's comfortable, it's roomy enough, it lets me be, it's home now. :)

Age of Realisation or Realisation of Age

I have started realising why people keep wishing they could go back in time when they were younger & frivolous. As you grow up and begin planning about how and where you wish to see yourself in another 10 years, you somehow start losing the frivolousness and the audacity to follow your heart, your instincts. Every decision you take needs to be thought through. Every step you take has to be analysed. Every move you make should be calculated. And, all these stumbling blocks are built by us. We do it to ourselves, and apparently for ourselves. Suddenly, all those "Live in the moment"and "Carpe Diem" doctrines go out of the window. Because you are a mature individual now - a grown up. You look at life with a distinct perspective. You have to. After all, you have exhausted all the free lunches that you were entitled to.

I am 27 years old.
In India, a girl of my age is not considered to be young. I think I can't even call myself a girl anymore here. Because I am a "woman". However, I still feel like a girl, so I will anyway.
Time just flies away. Kids would earlier call me Didi (elder sister), but since a couple of years, they have started addressing me as Aunty. Perhaps my age is showing. Though I have observed, it's more often the parent of the kid who decides if I am a Didi or an Aunty. Not that it matters to me. It's just the way the society has been moulded. Out of 10, 8 of my friends, who belong to my age group, are married and from those 8, 4 already have kids or are about to give birth.

Isn't it all about choices you make in life?

Choices. Decisions. I don't like making decisions. The big ones. The perturbing ones. Ones that have impact on someone else's life too. I never enjoyed making decisions anyway. But now, because I am a "grown up", this task has become more arduous. The future, no matter how uncertain, glares at me with its eyes wide open, each time I think of deciding to do what I wish to and not what I have to.

I am certain 5 years later, there is going to be a paradigm shift in the way I look at life. I will smile and look back at the present me just as I am doing right now at the younger me.

I hate 'have tos'!

I've upgraded my blogger and yeah... it's different! I don't know in what way is this the "upgraded" version yet! Since I am not used to it, I am finding it too drab to work with!


Hmm,
So, long back when I revealed my love for writing to my bunch, they started teasing me saying "Soon you'll  be out with a book... blah..." and I used to laugh it off, giving them a "maybe".
Of course, I'd never contemplated about the idea of writing a book, earnestly... But, today I am certain about it! There is going to be no book!
Why? Well, I don't wanna state the reasons...
Also, writing is not only restricted to "books"! It's an art and it totally depends on your creativity, how you decide to play with it!  


'Devil woman' by Cliff Richard :)
I heard this song from the movie Housefull 2 on the radio today, I don't remember the lyrics or the title of the song but it is some papa song. This song is a ghastly Hindi version of 'We speak no Americano' !! It hugely sucks! Man... it's such a disgrace to the awesome original one!              


"Awareness without action is worthless" - Phil McGraw  
Something that I need to understand and IMPLEMENT!


Just sometime back I read an article by Osho. He is the first spiritual Guru, whom I've heard, promoting live-in relationships for a few years before marriage. Dude... I've started respecting this man more! Whatever things I've read, that he has written, always make sense to me. There's really lot to learn from him! No doubt Badi Mummy devoted him so religiously!
I don't understand why our society hates the idea of 'live-in' relationships! I personally believe more in live-in than marriage! There are too many 'have tos' in a marriage! Like, you have to throw these stupid wedding parties, you (girls) have to leave your parents but he still has his folks by his side, you have to stick to that person even if you realize you never loved him/her or love just never happened (because divorce is looked upon with contempt in the Indian society), you (guys) have to give huge pin-money to the wives (they should be earning themself) etc. etc. One single stupid certificate adds on too much of burden! It's like this binding obligation, which you have to fulfill and you just have to get married to be accepted by the society! 
I mean, why do you need a certificate to validate your relationship if you really love the person and if it's arranged marriage, you are stuck for the rest of your life (if at all true love never comes your way)?! 


(Again very subjective and mostly unacceptable by all!!)
Gasp, me and my exceptionally liberated ideas, I hope we find OUR space in the real world too!
Anyway,
I have to study now! 
(A month to go)
                                                                                                                                                             

Rightly wrong!

I feel, everyone around me is either getting married or hitched or committed. I guess, this is the age as per the Indian norms, where the girl is like a ripe mango, ready to be plucked!
(Do not read it with a perverted mind because I'm pretty serious!)


Whenever my parents come back from a social gathering, they bring up this topic of marriage. Just like we have our own peer pressure, they too have this societal peer pressure on them. Since ages, this has been prevalent in India, girls have to be put in a wedlock at an early age. This is how the system works here.


When my folks see other peoples daughters getting married at 21/22... they also feel like getting their daughter married ASAP and almost all parents are like that! They are not wrong on their part. 
It's like a marketing strategy. If one company reduces the price of their product, their competitors will also have to slash down the prices in order to maintain the competition and sustain their customers. Similarly, if there are a set of people ready to give their girls out for marriage at 21. why will any guys family go for a girl who's 25 or above?! So others to will have to get their daughters married at 21 or 22! You know, our society believes, 'younger the better'!!


I fail to understand why the society reckons marriage to be the solution for girls...
(Haha... Ipso facto, this was the topic of my first ever internet article!)


No matter how much I debate with my parents, my family or anyone... there are some rules, in the society, that we'll never be able to break completely. We can be amongst the exception but we cannot expect the society to transform its beliefs! They call it Indian culture but I beg to differ!


I can comprehend the rudiment on which "arranged marriages" ever came into being. I mean, it's good that parents and families, here in India, want their children (boy or girl) to have a partner, a family, a home! 
But, the times have changed... It is not about imitating the western culture, it is about bringing certain necessary mutations in the primitive and orthodox school of norms and beliefs! We, the human beings are evolving with every new generation coming to life... so isn't it important for the society also to evolve and move along, with us?!
I don't mean to degrade or sabotage our great Indian culture, I do value it... but here, culture is not the subject of matter... It's the societal norms and beliefs that I am speaking of!
Arranged marriages are our culture and I respect that but the age bar for the girls is not our culture! The age criterion is an obstinate and dogmatic societal creation! 
It is unjust to the girls, in a way... Maybe not all girls but to the ones like me, they are! 


The funny thing is.... some portion of our generation also believes that marriage is the solution to all their problems and it's not only the girls that I mean here, even the guys believe so!
It's like... 
Relationship troubles- I guess, I should get married!
Career failures- I think, marriage is the only thing left for me.
Family fights- I better get married! 
*gasp*
And, I kid you not, I really do know few such people! 
(Also, girls I can fathom for once, if they think like that because we've been made believe so... BUT the guys?? Now see, such guys are the official 'girl-guys'!! Haha... I am sorry, I'm not being sexist! Really!)


Well,
THEY may be right and I may be wrong here.... But then, I'm known to do things wrongly... so why should I do it right here!!! ;)

Mix

"Waiting for tonight" by JLo = old memories!

I never ever like my photographs!! I don't think I ever will!! :l :/
I don't mind getting clicked. I never bother to check how I look in the snaps because the pictures are MINE only so how does it make a difference! But... I loathe them! Can't help it!

My friend who got married, her wedding snaps were out on FB yesterday... Although I hated all my clicks but still the memories each one of those pictures carries are priceless!!
Sigh... Where does the time fly?!
I am feeling overly reminiscent, at the moment!

I just found a very old playlist in my PC... :) :)
Angry birds- I love!
All Taylor Swift songs sound just the same to me!!

Sometimes you wish to eject a few people out of your life, even though they are important and valuable. Because, excess of everything, be it good or bad, is always bad...

Boredom- One common feeling (I won't term it as an emotion because I find it inappropriate), which every one feels too frequently! It's a very funny feeling. As a matter of fact, it's the only feeling, no would want anyone to understand or you know, empathize with...
So if this word never existed, is it possible the feeling also wouldn't have existed?! Perhaps...

Anyway so,
Everyday I read at least 1 rape case in the newspapers. They say only 15-20% of the cases are actually registered with the police and still we (India) rank amongst the top-most countries, where rapes are most prevalent! It gives me chills to read them or watch them on news! Rapists are as repugnant as the terrorists... They can never imagine what it can do to the victim! I wish each one of the rapists that exists on this globe anywhere, gets punished  and agonized so hard and so ugly that they would pray for their death but Mr God would not let them die; He would keep them alive and as miserable as a human being can ever bear to be, in fact more forlorn than that!! Rape is an incorrigible offence! 

(Papa...Belated Happy birthday! You will always be my SUPERHERO!)

Biding goodbye to the storm...

Reading old journals and blog-posts makes you realize how much you have changed in all these years and months AND how somethings about you can never change... Paradoxical isn't it!

Making a fuss about small and silly events that happen to you... is the worst thing you can do! Take a look around and you'll see, you are leading one of the best life, this universe has ever designed!!

I read an article a few weeks back that said, people feel sad and miserable because they want to feel special. Only by feeling miserable can you be different in your own eyes and in the eyes of the universe. When you are happy you dissolve in the happiness and you become the happiness, you lose your SELF to the happiness and there is no YOU. No wants to lose their SELF & their place in the world. So they opt for being sad and miserable.
I was mesmerized by it. It's like the truest fact ever. I'd decided to share it on this blog the moment I read it.
For everyone, life is imperfect in someway or the other. It's not about always smiling no matter what... it's about how quickly can you regain that genuine smile...
As it is, I am a firm believer in KARMA, what you are getting now is the reaction of your own past actions. And as per Dr Brian Weiss, we select our own life before taking birth on Earth (ooh that rhymed :p).
So, the cribbing, whining and brooding is technically totally invalid!!
BUT, still we are humans, who can never do it all right and we like to cry it out once in a while. So our emotional outbursts have a benefit of doubt...(Although it's good to keep them under check!)

Post my previous blog-post, I am at peace with the fact that it really doesn't matter if "people" have misconceptions about you, even if these people are really important to you. It bothers initially but the moment you realize you cant do anything, you give a darn.

So, here it is, the difference between people that belong to my category and those with a 'care a darn' attitude... 'Care a darn' category already knows from the beginning that you cant change certain things and you don't need to change certain things... while, we try to make things work, we try to think of something to change the things and eventually we discern that we can't change certain things and we don't  need to change certain things. So, in the end, we too care a darn!!
It's just that we are a little slow. Otherwise sooner or later, all of us become a big pool of apathetic minds.

Then, there are songs which everyone in the room knows and they hum the lyrics together... while you are standing there completely unaware of the song, thinking who the hell made this stupid song!

'Good feeling' a nice and light-hearted number.
I don't hear to many Christina Aguilera songs but I love her voice.

It's one of my very good friend's marriage today and I am so happy for her! This is the same friend's marriage which I'd referred in previous posts. Where does time fly? Still feels it was yesterday when the 2 of us were sitting in our boss's cabin (of course after he would leave) and having warm heart-to-heart conversations! Feeling nostalgic! Mr God bless her with a super happy wedlock and make sure she always smiles!

Just rambling...

I desperately need to get a grip now. Not that I am not enjoying my current life-style, in fact I am loving it! That's the reason I am feeling daunted at the moment. I've been pampering myself a lot since long now, it needs to stopped because I'm kinda getting used to this!!

I had an amazing time with one of my cousin today. It's good to spend time with a person, who's not opinionated and presumptuous!

'The Holiday' is a beautiful movie. I love it. Though it is a little fairy-tale-ish.
But then who doesn't like fairy-tales!
Some guys may oppose the statement I just stated above, saying they do not believe in fairy-tales. But, I never mentioned "believing". Which guy wouldn't "LIKE" to have the most gorgeous and rich princess as his lady!! ;) :P

Mumbai has so many different colors to it. Every area in this city gives you a different feel altogether! This city is something else! It's a prodigiously unexpected place to live in... Well, what else can you expect from the city, which is populated so immoderately with umpteen humans, who themselves are by nature, very unpredictable!!

What do you do when despite of spending Rs500 on a dinner, you are still hungry?  YOU EAT!!
What else can you do! When you're hungry, you have to pacify the tummy!
(Yeah, this was too random!)

Humma Humma- Evergreen and joyful!!
Hey soul sister- I like. No, Love!!
'Hey soul sister. Ain't that mister mister. On the radio, stereo....' :)) :)

It's still not cold! At least not cold enough to put on my orange sweat-jacket!

Dance- Invigorating, refreshing, joyful, etc etc etc.
I liked 'Rockstar'. Also it's soundtrack is great... "Oh yeah yeah yeah...", "Hawa hawa", "Aur ho"... such superb songs!! For the first time, I've liked an entire bolly movie soundtrack! Mohit Chauhan and A.R. Rehman have proved to be a perfect combo!

It's strange, how most of the times, what I think of blogging is totally different from what I end up blogging!

One of my very good friend is getting married and I guess I've already mentioned it before, her wedding preparations and shopping are on in full swing!! I am thoroughly enjoying being a part of it!
There are so many small rituals that are to be done! The best part is, the bride gets to shop as much as she can! As if the entire world is going to stop producing clothes, shoes and bags within a few days!!
Things are over-hyped! Such exorbitant venues and clothes and jewelry, goodness me!! I am so dumbfounded by looking at all of this!
I mean, the marriage has to be grand such that people remember it up till their world ends! People didn't realize when traditions and rituals were superseded by prestige and social eminence! And now, this is what they say the culture is. It's good to celebrate but only for your own self and not for the heck of societal pressure!
I know these views are good enough to blog about but when you are out there, you become one of them, even if you don't want to! One cannot stay socially dysfunctional for a long time, you know.

Desperately awaiting Christmas!! :) :)