I Should Because I Can.

Each ray emanated from the sun is a ray of hope.
Every 7 am comes with an opportunity to become a better version of yourself.

No one said following your heart will be the easiest thing to do.
But I can say, it is certainly the most satisfying feeling in the world.

To follow your heart, however, is not in your hands alone.
There are a hundred other things that need to function at the right pace so you can follow your heart.
Therefore, to be following your heart in itself is a stroke of luck.
Have you realised that before?
To do what you wish to, to work on your dreams, all of this is already a privilege.

Ask a child in Iraq who has lost his family and doesn't know if he will survive another day.
Ask a quadriplegic who was once an adventure enthusiast.
Ask a musician suffering from Alzheimer's who has forgotten how to make music, and worse, how to live.

Stop wishing for luck. You already are one of the most fortunate humans.
Go ahead, work on your dreams.
Whether they come true or not, at least you will have lived them.
   

It started with a pair of shoes

When you make a hasty decision that demands some compromises and adjustments and you readily do it with the belief that things will get better with time. Think twice. Things may get worse instead. You may have to make some more compromises, some more adjustments. Until finally you get accustomed to the pain, the hurt, the discomfort, the suffocation.

A couple of weeks ago, I purchased a new pair of shoes for the monsoon. They looked good, suited my purpose but were out of my budget. They were a little tight but I still bought them thinking they will loosen up as I wear them. I was wrong. The more I wore them, the worse it would hurt. The skin on my feet has been peeled off, I have a pus on my little toe and both my big toes are numb, I cannot feel them at all. Also, my feet look hideous.
There is no improvement, the shoes still hurt as hell. I just got used to it. Yet it feels like a prison I want to break free from. But I love them. I have my hard earned money invested in them. How can I let them go? Maybe after a couple of weeks more, they will fit me well and give me the comfort I deserve.

The comparison may sound foolish to you. But aren't relationships also like that. Not all of them. But the ones that don't work out eventually. Of course you get to know only in the end. You try to hold onto them for as long as you can until you finally cannot take it anymore. You free yourself from those painful shackles.

Why do we always have to wait till we know? Why can't we know beforehand?
Because how will we learn otherwise?
Earth is our school. People are chapters that teach us some lessons. Mr. God or the supreme power that is superior than us all or the universe, whatever you would like to call it, tests us if we have learned our lessons well. Depending on the results we know if we are promoted or demoted.
Yes, I believe in reincarnation. Why? Because I would like to. Because if I don't believe in the eternal existence of my soul, I would not want to improve. It wouldn't matter if I am a saint or a sinner or neither. I will cease to exist eventually. So why bother? I would kill, hurt and steal. There won't be any karma coming after me.
Questioning my existence will bring an incurable unrest. And I cannot accept that. You can call it denial. But that will be your opinion. Everything has a purpose. This life of mine has a purpose. The existence of my soul has many.

The Sixteenth

A month ago, on this day, I embarked on the most unexpected journey in my life. A journey that changed my life. A journey of an epic beginning.

Dear Mr. God,

I love you more than ever now. The happiness that my heart contains is of such magnitude that I am afraid to lose even an ounce of it. It feels like magic. You have surprised me, delighted me, blessed me. You have showered me with such love that  it goes beyond my imagination. I will be thankful to you till my last breath.

..........

I am at the Beas. The cold winds are making my lungs quiver. My clothes are not doing a good job at keeping me warm. I am loving the cold. My teeth clatter and my body shivers. I am standing on the rocks submerged in the river that is flowing effortlessly. The icy water is piercing each cell in my legs. My legs go numb after a while. I cannot feel them. I cannot feel the cold. I am smiling as wide as I can. A tear rolls down my cheek. I feel lighter. I am one with the river. I see pine trees around and the gargantuan mountains with a scoop of snow carelessly dropped on them. The river is feeling me, healing me. I feel empty. I feel full. I feel me. I am happiness. I am love. I am the river and she is me. We are one.

My heart yearns for her.

I wish...
Why do we wish so much?

A gift from nature

I am back from the mountains.
I am back from the snow.
I am back from the river.
I am back from the paradise.

Or may be I am not. I left a little of me there and brought back a little of them all.

It was a breathtaking journey. With every small patch of land, I learned more about me. It was a satisfying feeling. Just me and my backpack.

There are too many words coming to my mind at the moment but I do not feel like putting it all together right now. Piece by piece I shall keep posting.

I am happy to be working again. My work is as important to me as travel. It, too, defines me in a way.

Anyway,
This trip has been extremely special to me. Apart from adding a new dimension to my thinking, it has introduced me to a new side of me.
It seems like Mr. God is playing a prank with me. I hope he is not. I don't have that kind of an appetite for humor. I have taken a leap of faith. It's scary. It's exciting. It's beautiful. It's alleviating. It's fulfilling.

My heart tells me, it's a gift from nature, from Mr. God. 

A relationship that hurts you the most and has no warmth left anymore, is it worth keeping?

If yes, then why? For the memories? What if I say that the misery of today is poisoning the memories of yesterday, is it still worth keeping?

If no, then how do you get rid of it? 

When a bond is irreparable and the desire to make things alright has died, almost... It's stuck like a tattoo on you, you can't do anything about it. It's a curse and you have to deal with it all your life.

Somethings may never change and so you have to change. This can't be easy. Try.

Nonetheless, there always will be a few others who will make life worth living with their unconditional love. :)
Thank you Mr. God, for them. 

....................................

To a special friend,

We will make it till the end. :*

...................................

And above all, you will always have music.
A thousand years - Christina Perri
Queen Soundtrack
Dark Horse - Katy Perry
Adore you - Miley Cyrus
Wrecking ball - Miley Cyrus
Demons - Imagine Dragons

And just when I had started to feel lonely, Mr. God sent all those who love me to erase that dirty feeling.
Of course, I love everyone around me because they love me so much, but more than anyone else I love you and my guardian angels (BM & Daddy, I believe)!

Lonliness, just like happiness, is a state of mind and a matter of choice, I guess!

I am so tired and sleepy!

I see!

Colors are the source of emotions. Each color invokes a different feeling inside. Each of them has special characteristics and a different meaning.

There’s only one common thing among all, each of them is beautiful. Yet in that similarity also there is a difference, the beauty of each has a different and unique shape.

They symbolize sadness. They symbolize happiness. And, all that lie in between. They impart beauty to every object, living or non-living.

It’s so hard to imagine life without color.

You can’t see the grayish road while you walk.  You miss that green little torn packet with light gold bordering of Radha Souf lying on the road. You can’t see the brown dog with white patches barking at a dark beggar with a white beard embellished with dirt, whose body is covered with dusty red and brown rags.

They are present in everything, big or small, real or unreal, natural or man-made. Even if you close your eyes or turn blind, you will see only one thing, black color.

Looking at life in that one single color keeps you deprived of those little feelings, epiphanies and discomforts, which only other colors are capable of producing.

Today, I want to thank Mr. God for bestowing me with the ability to see, for allowing me to feel every possible emotion.

My stepping stone!

Datamatics Global Services Ltd.- Content Writer.

Thank you Mr God!

Who knows if this could be that turning point...

No Goa for me. Of course it feels sad not be a part of it but I can manage now, I guess... because Mr God helped! 

I guess...

The big big bang by Rock Mafia - LOVE IT!

If you think that you can get us anytime you want... you are highly mistaken!! We know to stand for ourselves and we aren't scared or ashamed of doing so!! - To all those jerks who take us women as weak objects!

Some old connections losing the shine and some new ones coming into picture... Is it a phase or that's how its supposed to be?
Only time will tell...

Today I was feeling like I should try to reconnect with a few very old friends, who haven't been in touch for months now but I did not get the time to do so... I guess, the feeling was not strong enough to make me take some time out for reconnecting.

25 days left for the exams. Not a good feeling.

I always enjoy listening to All I want is you from the movie Juno.

Priorities. Funny word. It changes its meaning every now and then. Meaning and not definition.

Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen has been consistent on my playlist for weeks now...
'....Hey I just met you 
and this is craxy
but here's my number 
so call me maybe

It's hard to look right 
at you baby 
but here's my number 
so call me maybe...'

Whenever I'm asked to choose who's right and who's wrong out of two friends who are having a disagreement or out of my mom and my brother when they fight, it's just so hard, I can never decide or rather I can but I don't know how to tell the wrong one (as per me), they are wrong.
Sigh...
Mr God how do you do it all the time?! Your job is tough, indeed. Being the decision maker is never easy, not even if you are God.

That reminds me, I wanna watch 'Oh my God' but I guess, that'll be only after my exams now.

And,
Abbreviating the film name was started by the Johars I guess. DDLJ K3G KANK, etc. and now SOTY for 'Student of the year'! Although all film-makers do it now.

Listening to Payphone by Maroon 5, I don't like it that much though.

Damn, this "October heat" is killing me!

And lastly,
You have just lost it. I never thought you would. Bah... I over-estimated you and under-estimated me. Haha... Nonetheless, it's just good to know that I really did learn that lesson in the past and am carrying it with me. Yes, it wasn't easy back then but that was long time back and I realized how it was all planned by Mr God just so that I could have my little epiphany. Now, the time has changed... I always thought you had changed but... I don't know about you, I surely have... for good. It was a disorder, I maybe still having it but it's under the surface and I'm gonna try to hide it there for the rest of my life cause it's certainly not easy to get rid off once it shows up.

P.S.: The post is titled 'I guess...' because of the frequent usage of this expression in here. 

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi!!

GANPATI BAPPA MORYA!!

Ganesh Chaturthi is almost after a week now and I'm sooooooooo excited about it although my enthusiasm doesn't beat my baby brother's but still I just can't wait to see the pomp and grandeur throughout the city when Bappa arrives on 19th.

GANPATI BAPPA MORYA!!

Complaint box

I need to get certain things off my mind in order to get back in-order!!

Note: These are things that are so petty that I do not feel like putting them in my diary and so this is the best possible way to get rid of all the aimless pondering and ANGER.

1. Enough with the drama!! Just leave me alone, will you?! I too feel bad even if I don't show it!!
2. When you talk bad... it still hurts... sometimes... Because there are certain things that one can never get accustomed to COMPLETELY, no matter how hard one tries... 
3. Boys are not the only topic that we girls can talk about! So please for heaven's sake, STOP!!
4. And, just because my friends are all dating doesn't mean I HAVE to see someone too!! I ACTUALLY am very happy being single and I do not understand why is it soooooo hard to gulp that in?!
5. To myself - Speed up!! FAST!!! Be assiduous and sedulous! 
6. To Mr. God - Help me to help me! *begging*
7. Beauty is not perfection! Some people need to comprehend that being good-looking does not mean you are above everyone else or average lookers do not deserve better than you!!
8. Being candid about your thoughts and opinions may seem to be a great thing when you are practicing it but when others practice it and start throwing their unwanted and unnecessary opinions on you... you'll know how "great" it really is!!
9. You are funny- HAHA!! Now shooo!
10. If you don't find me interesting then don't talk to me... it's just that simple! I really wouldn't mind even if you are a good friend!!
11. And... I've always believed that you need a break from every person in your life at some point of time, no matter how important or special that person is!! I do this... a lot.. I need my space.. now, is that soo bad?!
12. Yes, I can be a super bitch, at times... Deal with it or leave!!
13. I knew I had to face it... I was prepared...

And yet, I survived all of it, thanks to:

1. Mr. God
2. My stupid little brother [I love you!]
3. Music (Of course, duhh!!)
4. Food (Always!)
5. Finally realizing I was being stupid by even letting myself get bothered for the last 3 hours, for these silly thoughts!

*gasp*
*sigh*

P.S.: No comments or views or opinions will be welcomed here (unless they are expressly in my favor)!!

From a different location...

You know, how people always wish they could read everyone's mind or at least read the ones they love so that they know about their honest and sincere emotions... Well, I was never one of those people and today, I discerned how correct my opinion about this had been...
Because we humans go through an array of emotions every hour of every day, some of us are extremely emotional (like myself) while some of us are mostly apathetic... most of the times we adore the fact that there are a few souls out there who love us unconditionally but there are a few moments when we feel suffocated due to the same ones. And, just during those few moments, we say a 100 negative things about them to ourselves, wish them to vanish away from our lives...

Imagine you reading their thoughts at that time, when they are having this fit of wrath and angst, it sure wouldn't be pleasant... so isn't it better not to know that momentary hatred and make life, relationships and friendships more complicated than they already are?!

Today, I'm glad for never having to wish something so awful for any of my loved one...

Reckoning the fact that I'm emotional, which not just means that I can get sad easily but it also defines that I experience every emotion very easily, which includes sheer happiness and acute anger.
So
Of course, I've been angry on my loved ones and have said a million bad (err..worst) things to them in my head but I've never wished to eliminate them from my life.

And I would like to thank Mr God for this little revelation as now I am more sure that I will never ever make such a ghastly wish even when I'm at the apex of anger and exasperation!

For the first time, I'm glad, I didn't wish that much...

P.S. For the first time I'm blogging from a place other than my home or ex-office! And no, it's not a Cyber Cafe! :)

Work-in-process

When you are being the bad guy, yelling and arguing while that little voice inside you is constantly asking you to shut up... but you just pretend as if you didn't hear it and continue being wrong, talking ill, which eventually results in a huge lump of guilt in your throat....

Anger is never good... Admitting is easy but eliminating it is certainly not!

Sometimes it just feels as though I am living a perfect life in an imperfect and erroneous manner.
It was easier when I was a teen, I used to blame God for anything wrong that happened with me, with my life...
But, as I grew up, I realized, He is not to blame, it's me... for this is not my life, this is a gift He's given to me, I'm the one who's not able to figure out how to deal with the gift... I cannot hold him culpable for anything as He's only responsible for the good things that have happened to me while me and my karma are responsible for all the bad things...
So since a few years, I actually have no one to pass on the blame... perhaps that's the source of all the anger generating within... but for how long??
Maybe, just as time taught me not to blame Him, it will also teach me to deal with all the anger...

I trust in You and no one can change that Mr God! :)
I may not be regularly visiting Your shrine... but I just don't need to because I know you are here... all the time; looking out for me! :*

And last but not the least,
Happy Independence day!
Yes, we still are a developing country, we still are struggling with immense poverty and corruption, we haven't bagged a gold in Olympics since last 3 decades... BUT there is something that has changed we are not as inert as we used to be towards the ills of the society, we are trying to search the answers, we have started pointing towards the wrong even if the wrong is someone sitting on the throne, we did bag 2 silver and 4 bronze medals and stood 55th out of the 83 participant countries and we are one of the fastest growing economies on this globe...
Desh badal raha hain....
I hope our great freedom- fighters up there would be happy to see that we are still fighting, fighting to be the best...

Blessed :)

Yesterday was one of my best friend's party and I danced like crazy (just as always)! The 'dance hangover' still exists and that's the reason I've been prancing all over my house since morning, err afternoon because that's when I woke up!! :D

Also, I realized if I had to choose, I would choose dance over drinks... haha...
(though it would make no difference because whenever I'm dancing, I dance like I'm already a few shots down even if I ain't... so I've been told by all!)

And yesterday, I could empathize with her happiness and gaiety completely... It was as if her achievement had become my achievement...
I love you so much and I truly and totally wish, you to be as happy all your life!

Also,
Today is my childhood best friend's birthday, which is another reason why I'm feeling so gleeful. She knows me in and out, more than anyone else could ever know... and I guess its vice versa too!
Despite the fact that it's so difficult to admit (it really is), I will have to say that you are "the best friend" that everyone should have, that they show in the movies and soaps, that I never ever imagined me having and I'm just so blessed to have you.  

Thank you Mr God for bestowing me with such happy moments. You, I love the most! :*

Sick, physically and mentally.

I feel so messed up at the moment for no freakin reason!
Feeling queasy, insane sneezing, wild running nose... :(

Mood swings!
Sometimes you want your friends to bear with you, be nice to you even when you act like a total bitch, understand you without you asking them to do so...
Results tomorrow, my tummy is churning badly! There's just too much pressure being imposed on me currently...
Mr God, I truly trust on you, I know whether negative or positive, You'll always be in my favor! ;)

What is it with people?! Every time before results they call and ask you if you are tensed about the forthcoming results? Duhh isn't it obvious... I mean, who is not anxious about the results, yes the level of anxiousness does vary. 

Especially when you are already behind time and the circumstances need you to be in action immediately, such stupid and unwanted concern gets too exasperating!   

Movies and books are the saving grace, I tell you..

I found perfect!

I've been to Lonavala countless times but on Saturday, when I was there with a group of friends, we discovered a pulchritudinous lake. Oh lord, that vision is something that I'm never gonna forget! Water moving so silently and graciously, a distant waterfall on the other side of the lake, huge round rocks, lots of different little bushes, each wearing a uniquely different shade of green... it was only us and no one else around... I never wanted to get out of that lake, that place... so picturesque, so perfect! Sadly, we were running out of time so we couldn't be there for long...  :(
I've not traveled a lot but what I experienced there, I hadn't experienced anywhere else!

Isn't God the best architect ever! I love Him sooooo much for creating something so alluring, marvelous, spectacular, phenomenal... ohhh I can go on and on about it until I fall short of all the adjectives known to me! It was truly a treat to the eyes... and the way it made me feel is inexplicable and unbeatable!
Thank you so much Mr God for that magnificent and bewitching view... just please don't let it elude by mind ever!
None of us had a camera or a cell phone in hand to click a picture that time.
You know, I could've enjoyed the view better if we had more time because I was inside the water all the time so my eyes did not get enough time to eat up all that they could see... but nonetheless the experience was simply divine!
Now I know where can I find it the next time I go.... and I'm certain to pay a visit again!! :)

For the first time, I knew what perfect meant, the real definition, something that can make me feel what I felt like when I was there!
I wish I was there right now...

One of my friend was shocked, how and why was I ENJOYING RAINS suddenly?! Well, that trip was meant to be for that, right, so... Moreover, I was already drenched in water due the waterfall so how would rains annoy me when I'm already soaked?? Duhh!
Actually,
it was not the rain that I loved but the cold and frigidness embedded in those icy raindrops hitting my skin... I wanted to hear my teeth clatter, see my body getting cold-creeps, feel the extreme frigidness the weather that time could offer and so I was standing out in the rain when most of them were sitting in a shanty, sipping hot tea and eating maggi...

And so I've been on bed since the time I've reached home with a red running nose, sore throat, no voice and fever! Gosh, I just can't stop sneezing, I would've had like a 100 aachhooss while typing this post!
BUT I still love cold! :D

My head is practically spinning right now. I was so drunk last night, I don't exactly remember it but I can recollect some bits and pieces of it. Haha... whatever it was, it was fun!
I had gone off to sleep but I guess the fear of my deadline tomorrow morning, woke me up.... I don't know what I'm gonna write and how but i'll do it & send it right away...

I love writing!

It's so eminent to have the right people around, who help you not make a fool of yourself while you are in a drunken state.... and then, despite of their efforts you end up looking tipsy and stupid because you are that drunk... Haha

Thanks Mr God for gifting me such stupid and sweet friends... Cheers! ;)

Listening to 'Blue (da ba de)' by Eiffel 65... and loving it...

Each time I watch 'A walk to remember', I cry. I don't know what is so great about the movie that I like it so much!
The song 'Only hope' from the movie is so lovely and heartfelt...

What is it about the sea that everyone can relate with it so well?
Had been to Bandstand yesterday, wanted to pen down all that was running in my mind but rains didn't let me do so. I was so within me that even rains didn't bother me since there were things bigger than it vexing me...

Anger needs to be subdued... Mr God help me with it, will you?!! 

Happily Nostalgic!

I just finished my last article. I just hope the agency doesn't kick me out for another late submission. 
*fingers crossed*

Anyway so, I was just about to shut down the comp but I thought of turning on the TV first, for sometime before sleeping and started shuffling the channels. I stumbled on a channel named Z Smile and what do I see... 'Rishtey' is being shown on the channel...
Back in the late 90's 'Rishtey' used to come on Zee TV, once a week on Sundays at 10PM... and I used to love it, I never used to miss it. What a lovely show! One new story in every episode.
I am watching it right now and am feeling happily nostalgic... I am feeling as though, I am still that 7 year old girl watching TV and eating fast food at home since it's Sunday and we used to order food at home on every Sunday!

Thank you Mr God for this silly little amazing moment! :D

[Episode-Rishtey: Lucky 7, 1997]

Hmmmm......

:D :D