The Day.

My colleague tells me I haven't been myself since past few days. She thinks I am un-physically absent.

I think, she is right.

They say, universe works in mysterious ways to help you get all that you deserve. And, all that happens is for the good. You only realise it eventually. Now good is not synonymous to happiness here. It is just good. Perhaps for this present life on earth. It is good because it teaches you somethings that you have taken birth to learn.

I am in a trance. It's a phase that reoccurs each time you become a spectator of your own life. And sometimes you simply can't help being so.
Feelings of helplessness and cluelessness grope you. At first, you try to rebel. Why should you accept it anyway? No logical reasoning seems to explain it. And, a tiresome battle begins. Between you and destiny.
But you were destined to lose. So you do.
And the thing about failures is, you have to accept them even if it kills you.

Today, I am undergoing a new batch of emotions that I never knew existed. It feels as though a funeral is being conducted inside me. Every cell is grieving over the demise of something.
While I wonder what that thing is, it's a happy day, a new beginning.



   

The Sixteenth

A month ago, on this day, I embarked on the most unexpected journey in my life. A journey that changed my life. A journey of an epic beginning.

Dear Mr. God,

I love you more than ever now. The happiness that my heart contains is of such magnitude that I am afraid to lose even an ounce of it. It feels like magic. You have surprised me, delighted me, blessed me. You have showered me with such love that  it goes beyond my imagination. I will be thankful to you till my last breath.

..........

I am at the Beas. The cold winds are making my lungs quiver. My clothes are not doing a good job at keeping me warm. I am loving the cold. My teeth clatter and my body shivers. I am standing on the rocks submerged in the river that is flowing effortlessly. The icy water is piercing each cell in my legs. My legs go numb after a while. I cannot feel them. I cannot feel the cold. I am smiling as wide as I can. A tear rolls down my cheek. I feel lighter. I am one with the river. I see pine trees around and the gargantuan mountains with a scoop of snow carelessly dropped on them. The river is feeling me, healing me. I feel empty. I feel full. I feel me. I am happiness. I am love. I am the river and she is me. We are one.

My heart yearns for her.

I wish...
Why do we wish so much?

Blessed :)

Yesterday was one of my best friend's party and I danced like crazy (just as always)! The 'dance hangover' still exists and that's the reason I've been prancing all over my house since morning, err afternoon because that's when I woke up!! :D

Also, I realized if I had to choose, I would choose dance over drinks... haha...
(though it would make no difference because whenever I'm dancing, I dance like I'm already a few shots down even if I ain't... so I've been told by all!)

And yesterday, I could empathize with her happiness and gaiety completely... It was as if her achievement had become my achievement...
I love you so much and I truly and totally wish, you to be as happy all your life!

Also,
Today is my childhood best friend's birthday, which is another reason why I'm feeling so gleeful. She knows me in and out, more than anyone else could ever know... and I guess its vice versa too!
Despite the fact that it's so difficult to admit (it really is), I will have to say that you are "the best friend" that everyone should have, that they show in the movies and soaps, that I never ever imagined me having and I'm just so blessed to have you.  

Thank you Mr God for bestowing me with such happy moments. You, I love the most! :*

I found perfect!

I've been to Lonavala countless times but on Saturday, when I was there with a group of friends, we discovered a pulchritudinous lake. Oh lord, that vision is something that I'm never gonna forget! Water moving so silently and graciously, a distant waterfall on the other side of the lake, huge round rocks, lots of different little bushes, each wearing a uniquely different shade of green... it was only us and no one else around... I never wanted to get out of that lake, that place... so picturesque, so perfect! Sadly, we were running out of time so we couldn't be there for long...  :(
I've not traveled a lot but what I experienced there, I hadn't experienced anywhere else!

Isn't God the best architect ever! I love Him sooooo much for creating something so alluring, marvelous, spectacular, phenomenal... ohhh I can go on and on about it until I fall short of all the adjectives known to me! It was truly a treat to the eyes... and the way it made me feel is inexplicable and unbeatable!
Thank you so much Mr God for that magnificent and bewitching view... just please don't let it elude by mind ever!
None of us had a camera or a cell phone in hand to click a picture that time.
You know, I could've enjoyed the view better if we had more time because I was inside the water all the time so my eyes did not get enough time to eat up all that they could see... but nonetheless the experience was simply divine!
Now I know where can I find it the next time I go.... and I'm certain to pay a visit again!! :)

For the first time, I knew what perfect meant, the real definition, something that can make me feel what I felt like when I was there!
I wish I was there right now...

One of my friend was shocked, how and why was I ENJOYING RAINS suddenly?! Well, that trip was meant to be for that, right, so... Moreover, I was already drenched in water due the waterfall so how would rains annoy me when I'm already soaked?? Duhh!
Actually,
it was not the rain that I loved but the cold and frigidness embedded in those icy raindrops hitting my skin... I wanted to hear my teeth clatter, see my body getting cold-creeps, feel the extreme frigidness the weather that time could offer and so I was standing out in the rain when most of them were sitting in a shanty, sipping hot tea and eating maggi...

And so I've been on bed since the time I've reached home with a red running nose, sore throat, no voice and fever! Gosh, I just can't stop sneezing, I would've had like a 100 aachhooss while typing this post!
BUT I still love cold! :D

From Deedo...

Happy birthday Nanakss!! You are 15!!! So unbelievable!!
It feels just yesterday when you were a 5 year old kid who couldn't do a thing without his deedo, who used to sit on the window and look at every red BEST bus passing by the street, who used to give me geeli pappis! I vividly remember, how dad used to get those blank coloring books with various colorless images in it and we used to color it together. As soon as I would put on music, you would start spinning round and round, you could actually spin around all day!
Scores of countless memories... Can't list them all even if I want to!
Your mere presence has been the biggest strength of my life! I wouldn't have survived without you! I am here because I have you...
Thank you Mr God... for the best gift of my life... You knew how much I needed him!
I love you! I love you more than any person in this world, I don't think I have or ever will love anyone, half as much as you! I love you beyond any words and boundaries!!


A quote that's just meant for you....
"I sought my soul but my soul I couldn't see, I sought my God but my God eluded me, I sought my brother and I found all three."  

I got to live it

When people are happy because of you and for you, it makes you feel worth living and I finally got to catch a glimpse of that moment, when you feel worth living...

Phew...I am still in awe

(I feel so emotional posting this one here..)

I finally defeated the demon, though I realize, this was the small one and the real son of evil still awaits me...

Finally getting to see that big, wide and hearty grin (that you caused) on your parents' faces is priceless...

Still cannot belive it...!! 

I am falling short of words to articulate this alleviation...It has happened only because of the Almighty and everyone's prayers... I hope, I dont dissapoint them ever again !!

And, the statement I was dying to own, since past 3years: 

  FINALLY REACHED THE FINALS !!