Early this week I was in the mood to watch a chick-flick
and I chose ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’. The movie opens with Bridget stating she
is 32 years old and the rest follows. Have you noticed, in most western
‘coming-of-age’, romcom, etc. movies, the female protagonists are in their 30s?
Okay remember, what is Carrie Bradshaw’s age in Sex and the City’s first
episode? Another point to be noted in such shows and movies, is people in 20s
are shown as too young and immature.
On the contrary, in Indian cinema, in 1990s and before, the
female lead would be in her teens! And nowadays, they have graduated to be in
their early 20s.
Now, I am not trying to belittle any culture here as I understand every society has had a history and is the way it is for a reason, which is a very different and wide topic and can be discussed at another time.
What I am trying to say is, we are a society that endorses (and ensures) childhood meets a premature death and old age blooms early. And, as feminist as it sounds, it is true that this is more so for the girls!
- Get married in early 20’s
- Have babies by mid-20s
- Make your life all about your family in your 30s
- Become a purpose-less, hopeless old hag in your 40s
- Make religion/God your priority in your 50s
- Wait for your death in and after 60s
Now, I am not saying that women are asked to follow the
above timeline. I mean we are raised in a way that this seeps into our subconscious
so discreetly, we don’t realize it until we are in the later phase of this
pre-designed life. Perhaps this is changing for some and may be not for some.
Last year
after I turned 30, I went through this gloomy phase for a few weeks. I have always followed my heart and rebelled my way through life so far and I was feeling like the best part of my life has just ended and
that it will only go downhill further on! All this until I had the revelation (as above) about why do I really feel the way I do.
Scientifically, yes, the body gets older and gradually weaker as we grow. But
how we feel or should feel does not depend on it, at least, not entirely. Moreover, ‘the best part of life’ is
something we usually don't realise when living it. We will only
see it that way, once it has passed or when it is about to come.
Yesterday, I turned 31. There are many changes in the way I see and perceive
things now. May be I don’t get enthusiastic too often as I have met many a new
experience already. May be I am not as interested in everything that comes
along my way. May be I am not always open to new friendships. May be it all
sounds a little less adventurous. May be this what 'older and wiser' looks like. But, the inner curious child in me is still very much alive. And, I
believe life has only just begun and that the quest to ‘I don’t know what’ continues
in all its glory.
Song paying in my head - Dance Monkey by Tones and I
