I Should Because I Can.

Each ray emanated from the sun is a ray of hope.
Every 7 am comes with an opportunity to become a better version of yourself.

No one said following your heart will be the easiest thing to do.
But I can say, it is certainly the most satisfying feeling in the world.

To follow your heart, however, is not in your hands alone.
There are a hundred other things that need to function at the right pace so you can follow your heart.
Therefore, to be following your heart in itself is a stroke of luck.
Have you realised that before?
To do what you wish to, to work on your dreams, all of this is already a privilege.

Ask a child in Iraq who has lost his family and doesn't know if he will survive another day.
Ask a quadriplegic who was once an adventure enthusiast.
Ask a musician suffering from Alzheimer's who has forgotten how to make music, and worse, how to live.

Stop wishing for luck. You already are one of the most fortunate humans.
Go ahead, work on your dreams.
Whether they come true or not, at least you will have lived them.
   

Perplexities

What if I close my eyes for a few flying seconds just to open them and find out that it's all an illusion. There are no local trains. There is no home, no work, no CST. The history of India, the world, the history of mankind was fabricated by my imaginative mind. What if the music that I listen to, that the world listens to is a figment too? Pen and paper never existed, and neither did the people I love and those I don't. What am I? Who am I? Will I ever know? Do I really wish to know or am I complacent with this illusion?

What is freedom?
I don't know.
Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes a place, a situation or a person invokes a strange kind of happiness within me, and I relate it to freedom. I say to myself that I feel liberated. But is it so really?

What is what? What is existence?
I don't know. Do I wish to know? May be...
Can I handle the truth? May be...

Today's playlist:
Invisible - U2
Ordinary love - U2
My way - Frank Sinatra
Every breath you take - The Police
Fly me to the moon - Frank Sinatra 

Inspiration can be a tricky thing sometimes. When you say somebody inspires you to be better, in a small corner of your head you place that person above yourself. You belittle your being. And sometimes that can have a negative impact on your mind.
Also, when you are inspired by somebody, you want to embrace some of their virtues. How does it differentiate you from them eventually? How do you differentiate yourself from all those who have left something on you and moulded you in some way or the other? Are we any different at all?

Hmm... I should just work. Too much to do...

It started with a pair of shoes

When you make a hasty decision that demands some compromises and adjustments and you readily do it with the belief that things will get better with time. Think twice. Things may get worse instead. You may have to make some more compromises, some more adjustments. Until finally you get accustomed to the pain, the hurt, the discomfort, the suffocation.

A couple of weeks ago, I purchased a new pair of shoes for the monsoon. They looked good, suited my purpose but were out of my budget. They were a little tight but I still bought them thinking they will loosen up as I wear them. I was wrong. The more I wore them, the worse it would hurt. The skin on my feet has been peeled off, I have a pus on my little toe and both my big toes are numb, I cannot feel them at all. Also, my feet look hideous.
There is no improvement, the shoes still hurt as hell. I just got used to it. Yet it feels like a prison I want to break free from. But I love them. I have my hard earned money invested in them. How can I let them go? Maybe after a couple of weeks more, they will fit me well and give me the comfort I deserve.

The comparison may sound foolish to you. But aren't relationships also like that. Not all of them. But the ones that don't work out eventually. Of course you get to know only in the end. You try to hold onto them for as long as you can until you finally cannot take it anymore. You free yourself from those painful shackles.

Why do we always have to wait till we know? Why can't we know beforehand?
Because how will we learn otherwise?
Earth is our school. People are chapters that teach us some lessons. Mr. God or the supreme power that is superior than us all or the universe, whatever you would like to call it, tests us if we have learned our lessons well. Depending on the results we know if we are promoted or demoted.
Yes, I believe in reincarnation. Why? Because I would like to. Because if I don't believe in the eternal existence of my soul, I would not want to improve. It wouldn't matter if I am a saint or a sinner or neither. I will cease to exist eventually. So why bother? I would kill, hurt and steal. There won't be any karma coming after me.
Questioning my existence will bring an incurable unrest. And I cannot accept that. You can call it denial. But that will be your opinion. Everything has a purpose. This life of mine has a purpose. The existence of my soul has many.

The Big Bang

Yesterday when I was writing my journal. I realized a few of my Himalayan memories have faded away already. I don't remember every moment. I have forgotten the chronological order of the events that took place there.

I wish I could lock all those memories in a box, even the tiniest one, and reopen the box whenever I feel like going back. I wish all my memories could remain as fresh as a daisy, all my life. 

All memories? Would I really want that? 

Because there are painful memories as well and I don't think I would like to remember them. 

Good. Bad.

Happy. Sad.

Pros. Cons.

Black. White.

Odd. Even.

All things come in a pair. They are opposite but inseparable. Without one the other would lose its meaning. One is the reason for the other's existence. The universe seems clearly fathomable at one moment and utterly incomprehensible in the next moment.

Today's Favorite:

Bang Bang my baby shot me down - Nancy Sinatra

Zoned out

There's a world in which we actually live, there's a world we've never been to, there's a world we think we are living in, there's a world where everyone else except you breathes in and then there's your world built with a million of your constantly changing thoughts and experiences. 

A chat with a friend made me wonder that everyone really does wonder...  

It was good. Although I wanted to make sure that the person I was chatting with, gets me properly but then... how does it matter?!! Well, as far as I discerned even that friend was trying to be more expositional. Moreover, I don't care about whether we comprehend each other or not; it was just good to know that I am not the only freakshow... all of us are! Well, if not all... at least I know a few who are! ;)

Those gospels that you are invariably aware of but still you need an awakening, every now and then, to remind you of their existence! It's weird isn't it... we don't really forget them but we still forget them!

I hate mosquitoes, they are present everywhere I go, in every nook and cranny!! They've invaded my house too!! Freaking 'Goodnight' has no effect... it feels as though they apply some 'Goodnight' repellent on themselves! Aaarrghhh.... I hate them! I know no one loves them BUT they really are loathsome... they are blood-suckers after all! It got me thinking, how did the first ever mosquito came to life?? And why... why did Mr God had to create any mosquitoes?!

Speaking of blood-suckers, I know a few humans also who are good at it... they are like human-mosquitoes except I can't really kill them with a single clap!

Times when you are surrounded by a group of chatty people and you are still talking to yourself instead of them!

Bumping into my favorite green tea flavor accidentally, after months, when I just concluded that they must've stopped producing it, in a store where I'd never expected to find any kind of green tea.... :) :) :) 

Life is unpredictable, all of us know and have experienced since birth. I like it... the unpredictability! Be it good or bad or happy or sad! I really like it! :)

'Don't think of me' by Dido... sweetly wicked :) ;) 

And the song that's STILL on my mind...

"Only you, only you, my beautiful dream I loved you.

Only you, only you, you gave me your heart." 

The other day 'Notting hill' reminded me of the song 'You say it best when you say nothing at all'. I love that song... I used to listen to it umpteen times in a day, back in college! 

And now, I am sick of only planning IT... I wish I could just precipitate myself somehow into IT... just headlong!!

Biding goodbye to the storm...

Reading old journals and blog-posts makes you realize how much you have changed in all these years and months AND how somethings about you can never change... Paradoxical isn't it!

Making a fuss about small and silly events that happen to you... is the worst thing you can do! Take a look around and you'll see, you are leading one of the best life, this universe has ever designed!!

I read an article a few weeks back that said, people feel sad and miserable because they want to feel special. Only by feeling miserable can you be different in your own eyes and in the eyes of the universe. When you are happy you dissolve in the happiness and you become the happiness, you lose your SELF to the happiness and there is no YOU. No wants to lose their SELF & their place in the world. So they opt for being sad and miserable.
I was mesmerized by it. It's like the truest fact ever. I'd decided to share it on this blog the moment I read it.
For everyone, life is imperfect in someway or the other. It's not about always smiling no matter what... it's about how quickly can you regain that genuine smile...
As it is, I am a firm believer in KARMA, what you are getting now is the reaction of your own past actions. And as per Dr Brian Weiss, we select our own life before taking birth on Earth (ooh that rhymed :p).
So, the cribbing, whining and brooding is technically totally invalid!!
BUT, still we are humans, who can never do it all right and we like to cry it out once in a while. So our emotional outbursts have a benefit of doubt...(Although it's good to keep them under check!)

Post my previous blog-post, I am at peace with the fact that it really doesn't matter if "people" have misconceptions about you, even if these people are really important to you. It bothers initially but the moment you realize you cant do anything, you give a darn.

So, here it is, the difference between people that belong to my category and those with a 'care a darn' attitude... 'Care a darn' category already knows from the beginning that you cant change certain things and you don't need to change certain things... while, we try to make things work, we try to think of something to change the things and eventually we discern that we can't change certain things and we don't  need to change certain things. So, in the end, we too care a darn!!
It's just that we are a little slow. Otherwise sooner or later, all of us become a big pool of apathetic minds.

Then, there are songs which everyone in the room knows and they hum the lyrics together... while you are standing there completely unaware of the song, thinking who the hell made this stupid song!

'Good feeling' a nice and light-hearted number.
I don't hear to many Christina Aguilera songs but I love her voice.

It's one of my very good friend's marriage today and I am so happy for her! This is the same friend's marriage which I'd referred in previous posts. Where does time fly? Still feels it was yesterday when the 2 of us were sitting in our boss's cabin (of course after he would leave) and having warm heart-to-heart conversations! Feeling nostalgic! Mr God bless her with a super happy wedlock and make sure she always smiles!

Yesterday and some odd thoughts...

Sometimes opportunities can also be scary. Is this the right thing to do or not? This question can be answered only by doing it.

Yesterday, after a long time I traveled by train. It was a big 1.5 hr journey. This Sunday was more wearing than a weekday. Anyway, I would rather not waste my words writing about how tiring, confusing, enlightening and bizarre yesterday was!

The train journey was good although all the time I was worried about being late. There was place to sit in the train but I preferred standing at the door and having the wind blow straight on my face. It felt good and free. On the way, I saw a road running parallel to the train. There were dense trees on both its sides; it looked like a beautiful tree tunnel. The sunlight was touching the road in bits and pieces because the leaves of the trees were breaking the light. It looked so pleasant.

There are so many different people in the world having different life stories. We have this small world that we build around us and that is what universe is for us. But from the actual universal perspective, one single person is like small and minute dot. There are countless lives and life stories. All of us are always lost in our own life stories, thinking only about ourselves and nothing else. But the fact is even if YOU don’t have a story, the universe will still be having infinite life stories!! Making your life story worthy of being a part of this universe is not that difficult, helping the people who need aid can make a good difference.