I miss... Me.

I miss those nights of melancholy.
I miss the whirlwind of emotions that went on inside me.
I miss the helplessness and that struggle.
When my feelings gushed in form of words.
When my thoughts would wander away to an unknown land.
A land that seemed like my own.
A place where I belonged.
I haven't visited there in a long time.
I haven't written for myself in a long time.
I miss those nights of fulfillment.

That copywriter chick - 5

It has been a month since I did any advertising writing.
I have been going to office and doing what is needed there, but the work is barely challenging and scarcely creative.
Also, travel writing has been eating up all my time but I'm happily doing it.

I feel I am being unjust towards the copywriter within me, she is being deprived of doing what she loves to do.

I need to strike a balance between travel writing and copywriting as only by pursuing both can I be happy and satisfied. I know myself, I will get bored by doing just one thing for a living. Variety is something that a person like me cannot survive without. And perhaps that's why I chose to be a writer. It gives me the liberty to do different things, to learn different things,  to create different things, to be a different person each time.

I fear completely losing the balance sometimes.
I also doubt if I really want this - copywriting - sometimes.
The doubt scares me. I wonder if it stems out of the frustration and fear of failing or is it my subconscious mind giving me a message.
I like to believe the former. I love copywriting. I really do and I want to learn it well. I don't like me being uncertain about it, not even sometimes.

Anyway,
The AC at my workplace broke. Due to excessive heat, thin hair on our skin had burnt and the skin was about to melt, just then an office boy got a pedestal fan and placed at the centre of our crammed studio. The fairly cool air that it heaved felt like such a luxury.
Oftentimes, we forget to appreciate the luxuries that we relish on a daily basis, such breakdowns are small reminders of their undervalued existence.

Today's playlist:
Shedding skin - Karsh Kale
Khwabon ke parindey - ZNMD
Young and beautiful - Lana Del Rey
Born to die - Lana Del Rey
Kinare - Mohan Kanan
I can't make you love me - Ester Dean

I will...
Because I dream so much.

Because I wished to write.

I just read an awesomely inspiring blogpost and I feel like writing something beautiful and honest.
I want to write something magical. Something that lights up the eyes of the reader.
I want to write something that comes right from my heart and reaches out to many other hearts.

I want to write about...
the sound produced on pulling the strings of a guitar
the bubbles that protrude and burst when tea boils
the relief that one feels on finally reaching home after an exhausting day at work
the clattering of teeth when the weather gets cruelly cold
the feeling I get when I step on sand and it takes the shape of my feet
how music inspires me, how the pumping beats make me want to achieve more while the soothing rhythms pacify me
the smallest of my dreams

I just want to write till the end of time.
Pen down every sight I see, every sound I hear, every emotion I feel.

I want to write not for the sake of writing, but because that is the easiest way to express myself. I want to write because I wish to create something, whether good or bad, beautiful or ugly.

I want to write to become a writer. I want to write so I learn some more. I want to write to be a better person. I want to write to inspire. I want to write to be inspired.

I want to write because I don't know if there is something else that I can ever do with such intense passion.

That copywriter chick - 2

When the shitrail thing happened with me, I was so agitated, I wanted to tell everyone that a thing as gross as this really happens in Mumbai. I wrote a blog and published it on social media as well, and as a co-incidence a small weekly that is run by a bunch of journalism students in Delhi, contacted me for similar kind of articles. I gave them the link to my blogpost, they liked it enough to publish it in their newspaper on the next day. I shared that as well on FB and twitter, and got a good deal of appreciation for it.

People from the same field won't consider it to be an accomplishment while those not from this industry regard this as a great achievement. As for me, this is just another step towards becoming all those things that I had dreamed to be as a child and that I wish to be now.

Current Playlist:
Jolene - Miley Cyrus
Pimpin smokin dro (Hardwell mix)
If I lose myself - Alesso vs. One Republic
Thousand years - Christina Perry
Chaudhry - Amit Trivedi vs. Mame Khan
Kattey - Ram Sampat, Hard Kaur and Bhanvari Devi

Also, there was an ad contest I wanted to partake in, but I did not have a motivated team. I can write, but I can't design ads, so there went my opportunity to do some good work.
Nevertheless, I am hoping to do some good proactive work in the coming days, and I am hoping that my team actively supports me.
One other thing that I have learned now is that if you don't have an enthusiastic creative partner, you cannot think of participating in contests, let alone winning them!

I have also been doing some travel writing in the meanwhile. Waiting for it to get published now.
I have realized and am slowly accepting the fact that I am more of a writer than a copywriter. This does not mean that I am not going to be a good copywriter, it just means that I will be writing a lot of other things along with ads and marketing collateral.