Mixed Fruit Salad.

I don’t know what to do with myself! Procrastination has its roots stuck deep inside of me!

I've read a lot of articles on most writers being a victim to procrastination but I don’t want to be in that writers’ list or at least not in the first hundred.

Solution: Kill the laziness.

I’m feeling sick, physically and mentally.

This Sunday was fun. I miss Winter. 

One thing I noticed, sometimes you tend to say things just for the heck of it, to have a conversation going. At that time you feel what am I saying, do I even mean it, do I agree with myself, why am I talking like that. But, later you’ll realize, it was your sub-conscious mind speaking and it will all make sense then. And perhaps, you might be embarrassed that you revealed your true and hidden feelings out in the open.  

I like working in the nights with light music playing along. I like blogging while doing so. 

You know an eyelash cannot actually fulfill that big dream, that wish of yours but still sometimes out of hope you like to believe that it will do so, and you softly blow it from the back of your palm, which I just got to know is also known as 'Opisthenar'.
What is life without hope? Death, maybe (I know that was a rhetorical question I stated but the answer just came to me instantly.)

Music at the moment:
Life is Short
Since you've been around
Daddy Cool
Here is a heart
Scratch 
Other side of the world
The dog song
(Yes, these are the same old numbers I like.)

There's maddening traffic everyday in Mumbai. Traffic that doesn't allow any vehicle to move for hours! It's becoming difficult to cope with travelling in this city now.

NO HORN OK PLEASE

What is it with Mumbaikars and honking?

Okay so, you are stuck in traffic and want to reach some place urgently so you start honking like mad. For once, please notice that others are also stuck in the same traffic, and the person driving the vehicle ahead of you is not having the time of his life in that situation.

Stop creating unnecessary noise pollution you fucking moron!!

MONSOON GO SOON

Due to rains, all autowalas have become very pricey, quite literally also. I’m so mad at these autowalas; they think of themselves as the kings of Mumbai, which they are not! I badly need a Vespa now.
Soon I shall get one for myself post monsoon.

Anyway,
I should get back to work now and maybe pop another Crocin!

Planet of Naricissists

Many a times I feel I’m a narcissist. Then I wonder who isn’t. And then I realize, I’m defending myself by generalizing this behavior, which adds to my narcissism. 

But, coming to think of it, I still haven’t met a single person who is not a narcissist and does not wish to seek attention in some way or the other. I don’t know how not to be one amongst them, but I really want to.

Realization always comes easy. But, doing the right thing is always arduous.

Monsoon is depressing. Or maybe my mood is… Whatever, I’m not very fond of rains anyway!

Doodling is like meditation for me. It always helps. It may not impart any positivity in me but it does clear all the negativity from the head.

Yesterday night, I was randomly thinking how my life has changed, it’s like complete revamping. I’m happy with the way it is right now. I’m happy that I learned to follow my heart. I’m happy that I’m doing it my way. I’m happy there won’t be any more blaming-others. The successes and failures will be completely mine. My life is completely mine.  No, this is not called being narcissist, it is called being alive.

It was all going good until last week. This week was very off.

Anyway... I'm sure days will get better.

I found perfect!

I've been to Lonavala countless times but on Saturday, when I was there with a group of friends, we discovered a pulchritudinous lake. Oh lord, that vision is something that I'm never gonna forget! Water moving so silently and graciously, a distant waterfall on the other side of the lake, huge round rocks, lots of different little bushes, each wearing a uniquely different shade of green... it was only us and no one else around... I never wanted to get out of that lake, that place... so picturesque, so perfect! Sadly, we were running out of time so we couldn't be there for long...  :(
I've not traveled a lot but what I experienced there, I hadn't experienced anywhere else!

Isn't God the best architect ever! I love Him sooooo much for creating something so alluring, marvelous, spectacular, phenomenal... ohhh I can go on and on about it until I fall short of all the adjectives known to me! It was truly a treat to the eyes... and the way it made me feel is inexplicable and unbeatable!
Thank you so much Mr God for that magnificent and bewitching view... just please don't let it elude by mind ever!
None of us had a camera or a cell phone in hand to click a picture that time.
You know, I could've enjoyed the view better if we had more time because I was inside the water all the time so my eyes did not get enough time to eat up all that they could see... but nonetheless the experience was simply divine!
Now I know where can I find it the next time I go.... and I'm certain to pay a visit again!! :)

For the first time, I knew what perfect meant, the real definition, something that can make me feel what I felt like when I was there!
I wish I was there right now...

One of my friend was shocked, how and why was I ENJOYING RAINS suddenly?! Well, that trip was meant to be for that, right, so... Moreover, I was already drenched in water due the waterfall so how would rains annoy me when I'm already soaked?? Duhh!
Actually,
it was not the rain that I loved but the cold and frigidness embedded in those icy raindrops hitting my skin... I wanted to hear my teeth clatter, see my body getting cold-creeps, feel the extreme frigidness the weather that time could offer and so I was standing out in the rain when most of them were sitting in a shanty, sipping hot tea and eating maggi...

And so I've been on bed since the time I've reached home with a red running nose, sore throat, no voice and fever! Gosh, I just can't stop sneezing, I would've had like a 100 aachhooss while typing this post!
BUT I still love cold! :D

People should be obsessed with the memories embedded in the photos and not with how they look in them. It's okay to make your portfolio, go ahead click a million beautiful snaps of yourself but those pictures which hold good memories should be appreciated even if you like a piece of shit in them!
I too whine about my bad pictures that my friends click but I don't argue or beg them to delete it!
Dude, world is full of farcical humans!!
And, the raining never ends... :/
In love with Relief by coastal cities. :)
'Shaitan', the movie, the music - AWESOMENESS.

PEOPLE.

Mood swings are just so absurd! Ugh! I just feel so.... man it's just inexplicable! :S


When you suddenly realize, you are lucky that something you desperately wanted to happen with you, did not happen to you... it is like a little epiphany. 
Gosh, I was crazy to even be whining about something so unwanted and unnecessary. 
Thanks Mr God, I love you! You Rock! Absolutely.




And, I'm watching 'Father of the bride II' for the 3rd time in past 5days.
Life without movies loses its meaning. ;)

Mathew Perry is cute, I've always liked him.


Why does it get so difficult to handle people and their emotions?! I sometimes feel it's better to avoid them but then if I do so, I end up being a bitch which feels awful enough. 
I always have been a people pleaser, someone who's always in the loop but since quite a long time I've kinda stopped caring about others. You may think I've turned selfish but not caring about others doesn't mean I care more about myself because a few of these 'others' are some of the very important people of my life and me being reckless and not being able to maintain things with them has put them away from me which is not any sort of gain for me but strangely I've been so lost that I don't miss them and this has stopped affecting me, it's bad but that's how it is now. 
No, I am not depressed or in the blues. I am doing good. It's just how I've become.   


There's a friend of mine who also has been going through something similar or it is at least how I think. His other friends don't get him, they fail to understand why suddenly he's turned reclusive but the truth is he's not closed up or reticent; this is just how he has become over the time. You can blame the circumstances or situations if want to but he's not culpable. People change with time, you know, if not all at least some of them do and it's not bad or sad, not even a bit.  


I hate hate hate and simple hate extremely judgmental and critical people! Ugh... Good God, why do I even talk to them?! Why do I even know them?! If the world is not running according to them, it's wrong and they mock it off! Damn are they annoying or not! Screw you suckers!! *gasp*


And,
Mumbai rains are truly pleasant in the nights (of course, when I'm indoors). :) 
It's my life- Bon Jovi
Miss you- Enrique

I hate rains! ;) :P

Yes, I am a feminist! So... Is that a problem?! Umm... I don't think so ;)


'God is a girl'- an all time favorite!


'Promiscuous girl' by Nelly Furtado is on the radio. I guess it came out when I was in SYJC and me & one of my cousins were all gaga about it... I still like that number.
"It's okay, it's alright, I got something that you don't like..."
Back then, Nelly Furtado was all that I used to listen all day!


And the monsoon has begun.... 
Shew... finally, the summer is done with!!


Speaking of monsoon, just yesterday a friend popped up the same old mysterious question... 'Why are you single?'
Hahaha... okay so I've never understood how to answer that question and as far as I remember, each time, I've answered different
So yaa... we were talking about rains and I mentioned how I hate them, on that she said ' Once you get into a relationship, you'll love rains!' and I said 'Umm Okay!!!!'
This friend is not the first girl who has made this statement. A few of my other girlfriends had also said the same once...
Okay so let me make it clear, I hate rains but I don't hate monsoon! Meaning I hate the wetness, the dampness and the swamp about monsoon but I truly love the sweet and mellow fragrance of the soil embedded in the swirling monsoon breeze and of course, the floral greenery!! hmmmm.... I love that and what I love more is a stroll in such weather, PROVIDED it's not raining or even drizzling and the roads are not all that damp and swampy!! 
Pretty complicated huh...that's why to make it short and avoid the excess blabber, I say I hate rains! 
Anyway so,
these are the things that I like and dislike about monsoon and I don't think, I know that this will remain the SAME despite of what my relationship status is!!!
Phew... 
Why do people make a big deal about singlehood? 
To this, a friend answered, 'Because everyone around you is dating so being single really becomes a big deal!!'
Damn... it's ridiculously hilarious!


'You give the strength to me' - love the song! 


New in town- nice movie :)

Why the heck do you always assume things about people?!

I have become so grumpy these days. It's not at all difficult to tick me off!! Goodness me...!! I am fuming even now when I am typing about it!! 

Anyway, I had been wanting to blog since my rickety computer went in for repairs and when it got back, I just couldn't write here anymore. It always happens like that, you talk to this one person in your mind a 100 times but when that person comes in front of you, you are unable to utter a friggin word to him/her. In that one moment, you imagine that person giving countless different reactions to what you will say and then you end up not saying anything!! Why do we always assume what the opposite person is thinking or will say or will do or blah?? Isn't it stupid to have such silly assumptions?! 

We never know what is going on in the opposite person's head, just as they don't know what we are thinking but still both will have certain assumptions as to each other's take and comprehension about an issue or topic or feelings...

This assumption thing has been driving me crazy since months. It really plays badly with your head. It is always better to communicate rather than drawing conclusions on the basis of some baseless assumptions!! Your conjectures can really hurt you more than any other person.


It is so easy to be negative, right? Many a times, I find it eminently difficult to be positive about people. It is very important to be positive about the people in your life rather more important than being positive about your own life. Being positive about them is equivalent to trusting them, if you take them in a negative way, it implies that you have lost trust in them. It's better to quit postulating other people's intentions!! 


The monsoon blues are incessant...it keeps getting gloomier and darker...

Work and Rains...

A lot of content writing is up this week. Then there’s office, class and also a few other plans. It’s going to be 1 hell of a week. This time, I cannot be late with respect to writing because I have been given a final warning so now on if I take the work; I have to do it ON TIME. No excuses will be entertained. I got pretty apprehensive about this, at first but then I thought, I will have to be responsible and PUNCTUAL someday, right? So why not now! There are so many people who slog butts and work like anything. I mean, work is really worship to them and if they can do it, even I can try!  

I am still in love with the song “I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said…” by Smitty.

Traffic jams due to rains, water dripping from the trees, damp hair, wet clothes, shoes soaked in water, mossy surfaces, grey sky, the sound of raindrops falling on the ground, on the umbrellas, raincoats and wind cheaters, crowded vada pav stalls, slow music on the headset and the chaos can make you feel either gloomy or furious or like a lively Mumbaikar or all of these at the same time!!

I really find monsoon gloomy and sad (most of the times). I wonder why people love it so much!! The icky feeling you get when you are almost wet is so repulsive!

Having said all of the above, I still find rains amusing. I am familiar with the water cycle that we were taught in the second grade but rains still seems like magic to me (only when I am indoors)!!

lost sight of articulation...

It's been ages since I've posted anything here. I find my blog rather boring now. I remember how earlier I used to visit my blog and re-read my old posts. May be because previously I used to write about my views and now I write about me and I don't find me interesting. Many a times in the past few days I opened the blog with the intention of writing but whenever I would start to type, I would go blank. I feel I have become less expressive over the days... :(


Although a few assignments have been coming from here and there, they have not been enough so as to satisfy me. Also my work is getting erroneous day by day. What is it? Is it the lethargy, the situation or just me? CONFUSED (as always) !!?!


So, the rains are getting very irksome now. When it should rain, it doesn't and when it should not, it pours heavily!! Well, my own life doesn't go according to me, how can I expect the monsoon to work as per me!!


Right now  I am feeling as if I am sitting in a roller coaster, thoughtless and emotionless and the roller coaster is going round and round, it wont stop until I am all set to hurl. 


I met some old friends last week. It was fun. I realized that friends can be old or new but friendships are always evergreen. We didn't party nor did we go to some amazing place, it was a normal dinner and a long walk but my happiness on being with them was so huge that it made me enjoy those simple moments more than anything. I guess this what true friends do to you! And, my baby bloomer bloomed a flower after weeks (touchwood), I am very glad this happened !! :))


One thing I hate the most about Mumbai is that people here really can be mean and rude. No one cares even if you get hit by a car, at times. You are the only one who has to be careful about yourself, no one comes to help, you have to be your own help!!  


Anyway, I don't have anything more to write now. When the thoughts in your head stop meandering for a while, you can express it out but when they just keep running continuously it's hard to catch pace and articulate!!

The fun week ends…

1 Party + 1 dinner + Manori + Lonavala = A week full of fun and entertainment. While returning from Manori, I wanted to blog about it ASAP but I was drained by the trip till the time I reached home so I could not and little did I know that the awesome Lonavala weekend was waiting for me. So now I will put down all the fun together here.

The fun week started with a friend’s awesome party. All of us danced our hearts out. It was superb. Then the next day, me and my mad gang (as we call it) left for Manori. The beach, the cottage, the horse-cart ride, the ferry ride, the weird dog and the dark room, all made it a perfect picnic. Actually, I had the perfect set of people and that’s what made it a hit. The little jokes, the funny events, the teasing, the yelling and hooting made it one of most memorable outings for all of us. To top it all, it rained. My first proper rainy session, all of us got wet and enjoyed the weather thoroughly. I would specifically like to mention the horse cart ride while returning; the sun was setting, it was very windy and cloudy by then. The narrow road on which our horses were galloping was margined by trees on both sides. Most of the trees bore red flowers. It looked like they were on fire. And then, the sky started sprinkling water. Oh! What a sight! What a feeling! It was indeed an enchanting ride!

Another event to add to my merriment was one of my closest friend’s birthday on 3^rd June. All of us met and went for dinner.

 And then the next morning I Ieft for Lonavala with my family. The climate was amazing there. The clouds were touching the hills. I was actually sitting on cloud nine. I could touch the sky. The scenery, the weather, the fresh air and the swiftly blowing wind were just perfect. Apart from this, I enjoyed the little badminton session with my family. This trip will remain in my memory forever and ever. I feel like I am back from heaven.   

 I don’t remember when was the last that I actually enjoyed for an entire week like that without going to office so all in all it was an exuberating week filled with loads of fun, pleasure and a little guilt for not working at all.

There was not much of writing work this week so I really wish for more of it ahead.         

          

Me, writing and monsoon

My heart is beating so fast right now that I fear it will wear out soon. I have come to realize that I have been writing a lot about myself of late, be it in my blue writing diary or this blog. So many of times we get so lost within ourselves that we start ignoring everything else around us, the nature, the people and so forth. 

Life is all about uncertainties. No one knows what's going to happen next, even the fortune-tellers cannot predict their own future but I just wish I knew SOME of the future outcomes. Yes, I know the "live in the moment" philosophy and I do follow it too but there are times when I want to live the future first and then the present.

Working from the workplace is so much better than working from home, at least we can come out of the den and meet other people. But we cannot get everything, right? God always keeps us away from any one piece of the life's jigsaw puzzle at each time. He makes us realize that it's not complete and then He wants us to be satisfied with the unfinished puzzle. Uck, very puzzling!! 

Mumbai's first drizzle on 16th may, 2011 was pretty pleasant although I had to carry my umbrella for the entire day just because of that 2 minute shower and that irked me. I am an admirer of the nature but when it comes to RAINS I am not much of a fan but I do love it's balcony view coupled along with a few Mumbaiyaa Munchies and junk!! I avidly want to feel the swishing breeze on my face which will be possible only with the arrival of the monsoon so I am waiting for it to come soon.

I could not think of a title for this post so I used a few labels for it...Hooroo (i.e. goodbye as per the Australian slang)!