Temperamentally exhausted....

Yesterday, me and my brother found our bad of old stuffed toys and here I am typing, with my little black stuffed king-kong sitting on my lap and staring at my blog!!

Childhood memories always manage to bring a smile on your face, no matter how old you are! (Of course, here I am referring to the HAPPIER memories only)

I also had a bright red stuffed poodle but I lost it :(... Well, I was not really a child when I bought the poodle, it was just 3 years back :D... But I'd be happy if I had it on my lap too!!

It's mom and dad's wedding anniversary today so congratulations to them for 23 years of great survival and I wish them all the happiness in the world for the rest of their lives because they deserve it, the most!! I hardly say it but I really love you both!!

Anyway so,
I don't know why, I just hate that date! Why do people have to make a fuss about it?! I know all of them care about me and all but seriously, I'd like to be left alone on that day! I am full of fury, absolutely irritable and emotionally vulnerable on that day! I don't have an explanation for it or may be I do have but I don't want anyone to know the real reason...
The day is almost here... I wish I could delete it from the calender! I care too little for what any person thinks of my attitude regarding this... "Stop throwing tantrums!", "What's your problem?", "You are so sad!!!", etc etc... I don't give a shit!!
I respect everyone who try to make it special but anything they do cannot change the way I feel inside or maybe I just don't want to change it... I may be a push-over but no one can rule my emotions in this case!!

I loathe the 'angry & furious bitch' side of me! I want to kill it ASAP... There is hardly anyone who has witnessed the real angry me. I can kill a person (and I am not kidding)!!!


I saw "The cell" yesterday, I quite liked the movie. I've been watching too many Sci-Fi movies these days.
"Be yourself" is a nice song. The wordings are good!

Why are people so stubborn? Why do we always want things to happen our way? And if things don't workout as per us, we get all annoyed and spiteful... Some of us are invariably stubborn while some of us get stubbornness pangs at decent intervals. It's strange how we get worked up for silly matters like, some cell phone of a particular brand, color of the paint for your house walls, selecting a diner or a cuisine to eat, etc.
When we think about it later, it all seems worthless, unnecessary and stupid. How does it matter whether an eating joint of your choice is selected or that of your friend's choice? The main motive of filling the tummy and having a good time, fades away... So maybe it's not stubbornness, it's ego...Or maybe stubbornness is just another shade of ego...Who knows?! I just know both are bad and negative characteristics and I hold certain quantities of both!!
Of course, I am not boasting them... Saint in the making... Haha !!

"High hopes" by Pink Floyd is another great number. I am listening to it right now...

Me and king-kong signing off here!! :)

A day that sucked and a night that hoped!

Anyway, it wasn't one of my best days today (yesterday since it's past 12 AM). I was late, sad, disappointed, tired, annoyed, irritable, awry and ultra-furious!! 
[It was also one of my very good friends birthday so belated happy birthday to him!]


Sometimes words do not suffice the expression of your emotions...


Sometimes, I know it's my fault, I am the one making purposeful and deliberate mistakes, I am acting flippant but I still want to cry and whine and fret about it!! I can be such a drama-queen at times!! 
You know, I've observed, everyone tends to become a drama-queen at some point, even the boys! Though they will never agree to it due to their "testicle-ego"! 


This year is a crucially important year for me, career-wise and I hope I duly respect it! There are many repayments to be made and I really want to be able to do that... But mere 'wanting' has never helped... I will have to move that butt and get to work and do something (No, many things!). 


God, Daddy, BM where ever you guys are please bestow me with persistence and perseverance this year and that will be enough! I assure you guys, I will not ask for anything more this year except for my family and friends' pink health! This is what I always ask you guys for, every year, isn't it?! But this time you have to help me do it anyhow!!!




And, something that just happened:

So, I was just reading Shobha De's blog and the comments and I stumbled on this one fan who thanked her because he got into blogging after being inspired by her. And, out of curiosity, I visited that fan's blog (he had mentioned his URL in his comment, with a plea for Shobha De to visit it). 
He blogs on movie reviews, Bollywood happenings and film industry and after reading some 7 reviews and 2 Bolly articles, I was assured that he really is an ardent Shobha De fan because all his views and reviews were adverse and spoke repugnantly against the subject matter! I mean, he didn't even inadvertently, mention a single good word about anyone or anything! I must say, there are too many 'Shobha De wannabes' flying around!!  

Welcome twenty-twelve!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR bloggy doggy !! :) :*


Just like most of the people, I ended my 2011 with a blast and beer :) and entered my 2012 with a bag-full of hopes and aspirations.


Yesterday, Cafe Mondegar was oozing with people. I had never seen it like that. Not that I was ever a regular there but during my junior college days, I used to go there often. It's a lovely place!
It was just me and my bestie. We had to share our table due to excess crowd, with a to-much-in-love french couple. So many noises and voices, fun and frolic, music, french fries, some alcohol, party hats and us. I could see people bursting with glee. I saw them shout and roar at 12. I saw a few of them dancing on the tables. I saw the cute french couple kiss at 12. I could feel the excitement with which everyone was wishing new year to their friends and even strangers! Cell phones ringing and beeping with wishes and blessings! And everyone had an ear-to-ear smile on their faces. I could feel the happy vibrations!
I had never celebrated my 31st in this manner. Yes, I didn't dance and I was not with a big group of friends but it was an awesomely unexpected night! Had it not been for the people who opted not to be with us, we couldn't have had this staggering new year's eve!! 


About new year resolution, well, I never keep one because I never follow. But, there are umpteen things I would like to change about myself and so if I had to, then the metamorphosis would've been my new year resolution!


There ain't any big wish-list that I gave God for this year but I did pray for self-augmentation because only if I improve my ways, things are gonna work in my favor. Of course, god has to help but first I will have to do my bit in every aspect of life!


Happy birthday Guruji! Always keep blessing my family and friends and me!! U rock!! :) :)

Who are you?

Who are you?
Are you a foe in a friend or a friend in a foe
Will I ever know...


I reminisce the times you have filled my heart with comfort
I remember the nights you have dipped my soul in despair


I wish you could ever measure the depth of the sea of sorrows, you have gifted me
By which you could gauge the profuse warmth I have for you


Nonetheless my mate, your sour gift has bestowed me with a teaching of life
Which says a human shows it's true colors only with time


Whoever you are, a foe in a friend or a friend in a foe
I hold no grudge against you as my heart forbids me to


I shall always remember you my dear
As someone who added to my soul a wisdom layer 

Movies, Men and Merry Christmas ;)

The cold is finally here. It's getting colder by each passing day. I am telling you... I am totally in love with the air!! 
Movies, hot Green tea, some munchies and a snuggle-worthy quilt - a Perfect way to enjoy a wintry day!!


So, it's yet another good friend's birthday today so I wish him a super duper Happy Birthday and a great life! :) :) 


And, the movie watching spree is still on!!
Oh and how could I forget, Merry Christmas (belated) Bloggy doggie!! :) :) :)


Okay so there's this little revelation I had a few days back, when I was at a cafe; if women are said to act pricey and be unnecessarily exigent all the time, then men inherently hold the abilities of flattery and persuasion!! Be it my younger brother or my male friends or my dad too, all of them have this incessant habit of wheedling and cajoling us! No matter how much they disagree doing it, they still do it inadvertently! 
I mean, since childhood, all we girls are treated with flattery and inveiglement, in some way or the other... 'Old habits die hard', is known by one and all, then this my friend, is an ancient habit! Women can't not be women just like men, who can never stop being men!!


I've got to catch up on another flick so hasta la vista !! :* 

W for worries. No, W for winter :)

I am so exasperated due to a friend today. I cannot put down the reason in here. Maybe the reason is not really the friend's fault; I am the one who's being callow and silly for no reason. Actually there is a reason and that is 'ego'. 

I had read somewhere long ago, there are many shades of ego. Ego is not restricted to being self-obsessed and considering oneself above others or being arrogant! That was the time I realized, I too am very egoistic in my own way. And why just me? Everyone is, in some way or the other! 

I am watching an old Hindi movie right now. It's strange how times have changed. Watching such movies and going through a few ancestral photographs always makes me wonder about it. 

Many years down the line, maybe some of my linear descendant will have similar views, just as I have now, after looking at my photos and videos and after watching movies like 'Band baaja baraat', 'Aisha', 'The twilight saga', 'Inception' etc etc.

The cold is kinda catching pace and I am loving it. The weather was pretty cool today. Getting those chills and cold-creeps due to the frosty breeze gushing in a magical manner gives me a celestial feeling! :) :) :)

Ohh, how I love winter! This season is all about merriment! And of course, Christmas and the new year's eve add on extra buckets of joy to the glee!

Whoa, the spirit of wintertide has made me forget all my annoyance and worries! :) :D

Just rambling...

I desperately need to get a grip now. Not that I am not enjoying my current life-style, in fact I am loving it! That's the reason I am feeling daunted at the moment. I've been pampering myself a lot since long now, it needs to stopped because I'm kinda getting used to this!!

I had an amazing time with one of my cousin today. It's good to spend time with a person, who's not opinionated and presumptuous!

'The Holiday' is a beautiful movie. I love it. Though it is a little fairy-tale-ish.
But then who doesn't like fairy-tales!
Some guys may oppose the statement I just stated above, saying they do not believe in fairy-tales. But, I never mentioned "believing". Which guy wouldn't "LIKE" to have the most gorgeous and rich princess as his lady!! ;) :P

Mumbai has so many different colors to it. Every area in this city gives you a different feel altogether! This city is something else! It's a prodigiously unexpected place to live in... Well, what else can you expect from the city, which is populated so immoderately with umpteen humans, who themselves are by nature, very unpredictable!!

What do you do when despite of spending Rs500 on a dinner, you are still hungry?  YOU EAT!!
What else can you do! When you're hungry, you have to pacify the tummy!
(Yeah, this was too random!)

Humma Humma- Evergreen and joyful!!
Hey soul sister- I like. No, Love!!
'Hey soul sister. Ain't that mister mister. On the radio, stereo....' :)) :)

It's still not cold! At least not cold enough to put on my orange sweat-jacket!

Dance- Invigorating, refreshing, joyful, etc etc etc.
I liked 'Rockstar'. Also it's soundtrack is great... "Oh yeah yeah yeah...", "Hawa hawa", "Aur ho"... such superb songs!! For the first time, I've liked an entire bolly movie soundtrack! Mohit Chauhan and A.R. Rehman have proved to be a perfect combo!

It's strange, how most of the times, what I think of blogging is totally different from what I end up blogging!

One of my very good friend is getting married and I guess I've already mentioned it before, her wedding preparations and shopping are on in full swing!! I am thoroughly enjoying being a part of it!
There are so many small rituals that are to be done! The best part is, the bride gets to shop as much as she can! As if the entire world is going to stop producing clothes, shoes and bags within a few days!!
Things are over-hyped! Such exorbitant venues and clothes and jewelry, goodness me!! I am so dumbfounded by looking at all of this!
I mean, the marriage has to be grand such that people remember it up till their world ends! People didn't realize when traditions and rituals were superseded by prestige and social eminence! And now, this is what they say the culture is. It's good to celebrate but only for your own self and not for the heck of societal pressure!
I know these views are good enough to blog about but when you are out there, you become one of them, even if you don't want to! One cannot stay socially dysfunctional for a long time, you know.

Desperately awaiting Christmas!! :) :)

Good mood gone bad!!

Hugh Jackman - HOT!! 
From 'Someone like you' to 'X-Men', he still remains as desirable as a man could be! 


I am getting the 'Bridget Jones' feeling... It is in relation to something that was revealed to me today! I guess, I really am the only one left! But you know what, I care too less!!  


An hour back, I was very happy and wanted to blog about many things and now I am blank... The Blues have taken over suddenly.... 
I cannot believe this... I was in a fine and normal state of mind, just sometime back and one single piece of information about a couple of persons, blew up the good mood. I cannot elucidate it in here, but it sure is something upsetting for anyone in such a situation!!
(Yes, I just said it doesn't affect me a bit, a paragraph above, but it is affecting me. I don't know, how to stop!)


Deprivation is not a good feeling, be it with regard to anything whatsoever! :( :( :(


Phew, what would I have done without music?! Music always comes to my rescue! 
'Cry me a river', 'What goes around' and 'My love' by Justin Timberlake and 'Karma' by Alicia Keys, just never fall out of my favorites list. It's been like 5 years now and I still love listening to these numbers!


Mood swings are the quirkiest thing ever! You never know when you can go from a fab mood to a disconcerting mind set!! Ugh... I am feeling awful! 


Anyway,
I had gone for a stroll today, after dinner. It was a half an hour walk. I heard good music, with my head bobbing all the while and I thought about all the good things that have happened, will happen and can happen! It was indeed invigorating! It was like walking through positivism. I should go for such a ramble everyday, it felt real good!
.......
Ohh, I am in love with Greenday! I've been listening to them tad too much.


I guess I'll end here. I am too lost in my own cogitations and ideations, to write anything....

Qualms and consternations...!!

To begin with, it's one of my very good friend's birthday so I would like to wish all the good in the world for him!

Now,

When the heck will I learn to let go the 'bygones' and the 'what-if's'?! If this really happen's, more than half of my troubles will wither away!! 

I've also discerned that since past few months, I've been contradicting my ownself! I decide on a thing, very firmly (be it the smallest decision or an important one), and then eventually I do the complete opposite of what I had decided! 

I know, it happens with everyone but lately, the frequency of it happening with me is more than usual... I am scared of myself because of this. Whatever I want to do (and it should be done that way), I do the exact opposite! Something has gone terribly wrong with my system! It's high time I do something about it! 

I mean, if I can't trust ME to do the right things, I'll sure make my life messier! I have to listen to ME!! 

(Yeah I know, it's confounding!)  

Listening to 'Locking up the sun' by Poets of Fall... love the song!

Then, there are a few songs, I like as well as dislike... 

There are a few things I can't blog about, that's why journals exist and I have written in mine. But the fear about IT is undermining me! I am so daunted by IT! I hope I am walking on the right path. Or am I being too repressive.. Life is such a mystery, you never know, whether what you have chose is right or wrong...

Birthdays... Why are they SO important?! 

Also, I've been trying to study since last two days but I am not doing it! I know, the word 'TRY' doesn't exist. You either DO or you DON'T! I hope I start up soon...

Or maybe, I should just STOP cogitating and anticipating on certain things!!