Zoned out

There's a world in which we actually live, there's a world we've never been to, there's a world we think we are living in, there's a world where everyone else except you breathes in and then there's your world built with a million of your constantly changing thoughts and experiences. 

A chat with a friend made me wonder that everyone really does wonder...  

It was good. Although I wanted to make sure that the person I was chatting with, gets me properly but then... how does it matter?!! Well, as far as I discerned even that friend was trying to be more expositional. Moreover, I don't care about whether we comprehend each other or not; it was just good to know that I am not the only freakshow... all of us are! Well, if not all... at least I know a few who are! ;)

Those gospels that you are invariably aware of but still you need an awakening, every now and then, to remind you of their existence! It's weird isn't it... we don't really forget them but we still forget them!

I hate mosquitoes, they are present everywhere I go, in every nook and cranny!! They've invaded my house too!! Freaking 'Goodnight' has no effect... it feels as though they apply some 'Goodnight' repellent on themselves! Aaarrghhh.... I hate them! I know no one loves them BUT they really are loathsome... they are blood-suckers after all! It got me thinking, how did the first ever mosquito came to life?? And why... why did Mr God had to create any mosquitoes?!

Speaking of blood-suckers, I know a few humans also who are good at it... they are like human-mosquitoes except I can't really kill them with a single clap!

Times when you are surrounded by a group of chatty people and you are still talking to yourself instead of them!

Bumping into my favorite green tea flavor accidentally, after months, when I just concluded that they must've stopped producing it, in a store where I'd never expected to find any kind of green tea.... :) :) :) 

Life is unpredictable, all of us know and have experienced since birth. I like it... the unpredictability! Be it good or bad or happy or sad! I really like it! :)

'Don't think of me' by Dido... sweetly wicked :) ;) 

And the song that's STILL on my mind...

"Only you, only you, my beautiful dream I loved you.

Only you, only you, you gave me your heart." 

The other day 'Notting hill' reminded me of the song 'You say it best when you say nothing at all'. I love that song... I used to listen to it umpteen times in a day, back in college! 

And now, I am sick of only planning IT... I wish I could just precipitate myself somehow into IT... just headlong!!

Totally random!

Just when I am about to hit the bed, I take a final look in the mirror and see my hair falling perfectly. Why can't the hair look that good when I have to go out?! 
Well, perhaps my hair looks the same even then. It's just my perception, just because I am going to be sleeping and getting up looking like a wreckage, I feel the hair is too good to be slept with! But, when I get ready for an occasion, nothing in the world can make me believe that I am looking fine for the day!
Humans... Never satisfied!


The more time I spend around people, the lesser I know me for that day!


'Notting Hill' is a lovely romantic movie! 
I saw 'Ek main aur ek tu' last week. I liked the movie, it was quite realistic! Maybe that's the reason many people around me did not like it! 
People like to see rom-coms or love stories because of their happy endings. 'Ek main aur ek tu' did not have a happy ending, rather it did not have an ending at all! The hero was still hoping in the climax that he'll win the heroine over and the movie ended without giving the audience any exact conclusion. So people were disappointed! Many real life love stories actually end in 'HOPE'. Sometimes, you get the person you want and sometimes you have to accept things and move on!


And, 
it's not good to perceive someone as you want them to be, rather than what they really are! This is nothing but fooling your own self! 


I am humming Rihanna's 'Pon De Replay'... I don't know how, this song suddenly struck me after ages!
"Come, Mr DJ song pon de replay. Come, Mr DJ won't you turn the music up?........"


Oftentimes, you don't feel contented living some moments, only once. You wish you could re-live them again and again! Just the way we can hear the same song any number of times we want. 
But then, at least we have been given the liberty to reminisce those moments and imagine re-living them! See... Mr God always has own way of giving us whatever we wish for, it's just us... who never acknowledge his givings! 


Adieu!! 

On FRIENDS, the sitcom.

I don't know why but today, the entire day, Friends episode where Rachel's having a baby, was playing in my head!! I kept smiling the entire day especially reminiscing the dialogues between Ross, Rachel and the doc... Poor Rachel! She was in labor for almost 21 hrs!! I love Ross and Rachel the most here!!
"Rachel: Dr, I've been at this for 17 hrs. 3 women have come and gone with their babies. You gotta give me some good news now! How many centimeters am I dilated? 8? 9?
Dr.: 3
Ross: Just 3!!! I'm dilated 3!!"
also,
When Pregnant Janice comes in for her delivery in that semi-private room and Ross and Rachel are totally shocked... Janice does her "Oh... My... Gooddd....!!" loudly and of course her irksome LAUGH. Ross says to Rachel, "Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears"
Hahahahaa!! Hilarious! I love FRIENDS!!

I remember, when I was in school, our cable operator used to put on friends, on the cable channel, on weekends for hours and since then I've been watching it! Several years have passed by and umpteen times have I seen the entire series BUT they still make me laugh hard!!
Chandler's stupid sarcasm, Monica's craziness, Joey's Innocent dumbness, the quirky Ms Phoebe Buffay (I love her), Ross & Rachel's track!! I feel as though I really know them as real people! I love watching them over and over again!
Of course I can't leave out Gunther & the ugly naked guy!

I love them all...
Monica for screaming "I know!!" in her typical way
Ross for showing a finger without actually showing it and his marrying spree
Joey for his "How you doing?" and the girlfriends
Phoebe for genuinely being so uniquely quirky, freaky and weird!
Chandler for inserting humor in every dialogue he's ever said
Rachel for getting in stupid sticky situations all the time
Gunther for always loving Rachel and spitting in his customers' coffee if they pissed him
The ugly naked guy for being the ugly naked guy

I just can't list out a favorite episode, I love the entire sitcom!

And,
My valentines day sucked badly! Actually, there was 1 good thing that happened, I ate chocolate sandwich! Thank you Mr God, for bestowing humans with the virtue of preparing GOOD food so that other humans, like me, get to eat them and turn a bad day into a good one! :)

Happy Valentines day!

It's valentines day... and also my bloggy-doggy's 1st birthday! Happy Birthday 'My Dreamsville'!! This blog is a piece of me... just can't articulate what it means to me... :) :)


Valentines day... A day that gives you just another reason to celebrate love. It is a day full of positive energy. Love is literally in the air on this day! I know, many don't believe in celebrating valentines but as I said, it gives you just another reason to celebrate love AND if you really love 'love', you won't refrain from celebrating it!
But, the V-Day kinda emphasizes the disadvantages of single-hood :/


There are some songs that give you a rush... You just capitulate to its music, its lyrics, its melody... 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga is one such song! I am in deep love with this track! Almost all Lady Gaga numbers are enchanting!!
"I want your love and I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and all your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh caught in bad romance..."  SIMPLY LOVE IT!!! :D




Why do people always choose to consider your words over your intentions? If someone really loves you, be it your family, friends or your beloved, you have got to trust in them that they would never even think about hurting you in any way.
The feeling you get when you have been highly misconstrued by a friend... is awfully upsetting! :( :(
Why do people love to think that everyone else is here to hurt them and the entire world is conspiring against them?? 
I mean, quit the negativity, dude!! Stop being so unaffirmative and cynical!! The world doesn't exactly revolve around you! 
I am fucking sick of being around the grouchy ones, the sullen ones and the huffy ones!!!


........


There's always a part of your heart that can never think practically or rationally come what may!  


And sometimes despite of having many dear ones, when you are feeling very chatty, somehow you can't manage to find a single person to talk to!!
Then, you realize that you actually blabber and drivel a little too much!


It's not good to turn blase about important issues. Levity and flippancy can really mess your life up to no limits!  
.......

Feminine!

I can see a slight beam of light coming out of the shut window so there's still a thin ray of hope left... So Mr stupid little brain, are you there?! Hellloooo?! Kindly start working!!!

Why are the heart and head always battling? Can't they for once settle on a single mutual thing?!

I've been listening too much to "Oh Johnny..." since last 2 days. It's a song by 'Andrew sisters'. It was a US chart-buster during the world-war!! I know... it's a very old song but it's very gleeful! 

Also, the soundtrack from the Bolly movie 'Life in a metro' is really good. Too romantic songs, not really my thing but sometimes they work well because the music is amazing (especially the guitar sounds)... When the movie was out years back, everyone was crazy about its songs but I never paid attention and now when people are bored of them... I've started liking them (All thanks to the radio stations that still keep playing them)! This always happens with me...late realizations... most of the times over songs and some of the times with real people!

Girls, females, women... No one can understand them, not even they themselves!

Sometimes we can take it all in good humor and sometimes something said sarcastically can hurt us immensely! 

I know guys who are like that too... in my head, I refer to them as 'girl-guys'!! I mean SOMETIMES it's OK for a guy to think like a girl, exceptions are allowed but dude.. not invariably!! It's easy to tell a girl-guy from the real guys! I personally know quite a few of them! Now, girl-guys are straight men, interested in women. They also have all the male body parts... the only thing they lack is some peculiar and necessary male thinking habits, which I can't elucidate properly... perhaps you'll need the girl-antennas to figure out what I mean here! And NO, I am not referring to the habit of lusting other women... because be it a guy or a girl-guy... they still own testosterone!! 

Anyway,

Why does being called 'fat' always bothers us? 

Maybe because girls have to be thin (not plump, not pudgy, not healthy... but THIN and LEAN) to be accepted by everyone! I don't know who started it... but now it's like the word 'Fat' sounds like an abuse to a girl, at times! I remember, till I was 17, I used to refer someone as 'fat' only if they were highly overweight or obese but as the years passed and my interactions with people increased, I've learnt that even if you are moderately out of proportion then you are freaking FAT!! 

But you know what... Screw you... Go eat yourself up and stop bothering me... I am fat and I don't fucking have a problem with that!!! 

We don't need anyone's acceptance, except our own! Often when people look at us scornfully, we start doubting ourselves (well, most of the girls do)... why do we do that?! However, sooner or later we do realize...we don't need to give a shit about it!

Right now, I am reminded of this song by Lady Sovereign, I enjoyed listening to few years back, that goes..

"Love me or hate me, is that an obsession

love me or hate me, that is the question

if you love me then thank you

if you hate me then fuck you!!"  

It's a fun song, you know! I really like it! ;)

Also, the movie 'Shallow Hal' is coming to my memory, at the moment... It is a good movie with a nice message... Somewhere I feel, all of us are just as shallow as Hal was before the climax of the movie...

And,

Sometimes, you call up a person, looking for warmth but all you get is a gigantic cold ice-cube! 

Sometimes, why is it necessary to hear the words we already know, from someone else?!

Sometimes, healthy flirting is fun! ;)

You never know!

'Love song' from 50 first dates is one of those evergreen songs that will always be my favorite. I've been listening to the Adele version of it since a week. The wordings are so sweet and lovable that any voice can do nothing but enhance the beauty of the song but I still love the original one from 50 first dates!!


Yesterday, I was just checking out my blog (yes, I check out my own blog, I like to do that!) and I came across a post where I'd written about winter and instead of 'weather', I made use of 'whether'!! I was abashed at my mistake and edited it correct, immediately. Here I am, reckoning writing as my 'thing' and I do this! Even in an unconscious state of mind, I am not supposed to make such an inane erratum!!  As soon as I snapped out of my silly embarrassment, I started reminiscing about this one time when someone (not a friend really) made a similar error and I silently mocked that person, in my head. I shouldn't have ... It was just a silly mistake, a typo. You should never mock at someone's mistake... you never know, you might end up making the same mistake! 
When the person making mistake is not you, you react in a different manner but when it's you, the reactions change! Most of the times, we go easy on ourselves but if someone else does the same glitch, we make a song and dance about it! While sometimes we overly punish ourselves for silly bloopers! We can never treat us and others in the same way! We just can't! If we could, we would all be saints (the real ones of course)!


Also, You should never let a mistake serve as a basis for forming a conclusion about a person. No, in fact, why do you ever have to form a conclusion about any person?! 


And sometimes, you just want to stick those earphones deep inside and play the music as loud as you can so that all the thoughts, you don't want to think about but you still cant stop contemplating, go away!!


'Aisha' movie soundtrack is awesomely cool! 


When the person you've been trying to push out of your life, really goes away... the morbid feeling you get... what is it?? 
Maybe it's missing the shooing away game. Or maybe it's the fear and confoundedness of making a wrong move. Or maybe it's missing that person... Can you ever really know?!


'Miss Independent' is being played on the radio. I was crazy about this song once upon a time! 
"She's got her own thing,
that's why I love her
Miss independent
Won't you come and spend a little time?
....
Miss independent, 
that's why I love her."  


I am still not doing it right and now, I am really scared! Maybe the fear will help now... I can do anything to make things work at the moment! Sigh... Bad habits... Why the fuck is it so darn difficult to get rid of them?! I mean, wanting and wishing to change them is just worth diddly! You have to friggin push yourself behind your limits!!  


P.S.: Admitting my stupid and ignominious spelling error wasn't all that easy! 

Today...

'Bumpy ride' by Mohombi is one of the best groovy track ever! How I love fast dance numbers!! I can really dance all day if I get a chance!

I love Milkybar and Milk treat. White chocolates are yummy! I remember when I was in school, Milkybar was newly introduced and it used to be wrapped in this hard paper cover, on the back of which, there used to be a tiny Milkybar man comic strip. Each time Milkybar man used to eat the bar, he would kick the villain's ass, bad! I loved Milkybar man!

Today, when I was heading back home via a moderately crowded train, I was tired and wanted to sit but all the seats were pre-occupied with 3 females. I started looking around to spot a seat occupied with thinner women so I could get a decent place to sit. I found one and asked the ladies to shift in and make some space for me but they hardly budged, the place offered to me was not even big enough for a 5 yr old but I was so weary that I somehow managed to sit on that edge. I was very pissed and just as I started thinking, how Mumbaikars don't care about each other and why will a stranger's discomfort ever matter to them unless they themselves are at ease.... the lady sitting on the opposite seat noticed me and she asked the other two females sitting next to her to shift in properly, she made enough room and asked me to sit there! God bless that angelic lady! I mean, you can never conclude on Mumbai.... On one hand there are these narcissist people who don't give a damn whatever happens to you and on the other hand there are these compassionate Mumbaikars who try to do something to get you out of a sticky situation!
There are many such little incidences that happen with you everyday that make you feel good and bad about a particular thing at the same time and of course I cannot list out every such event every day, this one was fresh in mind so I decided to put it here.

I miss writing so much! I'll get back as soon as my exams get over. It's been like more than 7 months now that I'd done any assignment. It made me happy! Even the pressure made me feel good about myself. I really miss that feeling a lot!

'In the end it was you' by Kat Deluna - :o)
'Without you' by David Guetta is also amazing!

Have I ever said how much I love 'Friends' and 'Everybody loves Raymond'?! Ohh yess I have, several times!! And, I can say it a million more times... I just can't get bored of them! EVER!!

90 days to go for the exams..... Ciao!

Only trying...

Times when you get sick of yourself, when you know the reasons behind you not taking the essential and quintessential actions but still those actions are the need of the hour and you know what the consequences will be if you don't do them.

'I don't need nobody telling me just what I wanna
what I what what what I wanna
do about my destiny
I say no, no
Nobody's telling me just what I wanna do, do
I'm so fed up of telling me to be
someone else but me'
That's 'Overprotected' by Britney Spears. I remember I was in SYJC when I first heard this song and fell in love with it instantly. I still love the song. I was a huge Britney Spears fan back then. I still like those old Britney favorites but I don't like her recent albums.

There are some songs after listening to which you feel that they were just made keeping your story in mind. :)

'Nobody's perfect' by Jessie J, has been my ringtone since quite sometime and I am yet not bored of it.

I read an article 'Anger is a product of fear' in Speaking tree today. Strange, I never thought of 'anger' in that manner.

............

There are too many thoughts running around in my mind at the moment. It's actually more of me trying to explain me certain awfully important things. I wish I could just begin with things... I don't know what's happened to me. Or, maybe I know but I still haven't found a way to sort things out. Anyway, I know I will soon get it sorted, no matter how arduous it is! I have to! There has to be a way out. Every locked room has a door. All you need is the right key to it.

And, sometimes an unexpected friend, comprehends your situation lucidly and says those perfect words and gives you the requisite advice... :)
But, in the end, it's you who has to make real use of that advice.

Two amazing quotes I read today...
"Life is a journey and you don't always choose the people with whom you travel that journey" - Gautama Buddha
"Overcome the forces of negative emotions by cultivating the counter forces, like love and compassion" - Dalai Lama

Biding goodbye to the storm...

Reading old journals and blog-posts makes you realize how much you have changed in all these years and months AND how somethings about you can never change... Paradoxical isn't it!

Making a fuss about small and silly events that happen to you... is the worst thing you can do! Take a look around and you'll see, you are leading one of the best life, this universe has ever designed!!

I read an article a few weeks back that said, people feel sad and miserable because they want to feel special. Only by feeling miserable can you be different in your own eyes and in the eyes of the universe. When you are happy you dissolve in the happiness and you become the happiness, you lose your SELF to the happiness and there is no YOU. No wants to lose their SELF & their place in the world. So they opt for being sad and miserable.
I was mesmerized by it. It's like the truest fact ever. I'd decided to share it on this blog the moment I read it.
For everyone, life is imperfect in someway or the other. It's not about always smiling no matter what... it's about how quickly can you regain that genuine smile...
As it is, I am a firm believer in KARMA, what you are getting now is the reaction of your own past actions. And as per Dr Brian Weiss, we select our own life before taking birth on Earth (ooh that rhymed :p).
So, the cribbing, whining and brooding is technically totally invalid!!
BUT, still we are humans, who can never do it all right and we like to cry it out once in a while. So our emotional outbursts have a benefit of doubt...(Although it's good to keep them under check!)

Post my previous blog-post, I am at peace with the fact that it really doesn't matter if "people" have misconceptions about you, even if these people are really important to you. It bothers initially but the moment you realize you cant do anything, you give a darn.

So, here it is, the difference between people that belong to my category and those with a 'care a darn' attitude... 'Care a darn' category already knows from the beginning that you cant change certain things and you don't need to change certain things... while, we try to make things work, we try to think of something to change the things and eventually we discern that we can't change certain things and we don't  need to change certain things. So, in the end, we too care a darn!!
It's just that we are a little slow. Otherwise sooner or later, all of us become a big pool of apathetic minds.

Then, there are songs which everyone in the room knows and they hum the lyrics together... while you are standing there completely unaware of the song, thinking who the hell made this stupid song!

'Good feeling' a nice and light-hearted number.
I don't hear to many Christina Aguilera songs but I love her voice.

It's one of my very good friend's marriage today and I am so happy for her! This is the same friend's marriage which I'd referred in previous posts. Where does time fly? Still feels it was yesterday when the 2 of us were sitting in our boss's cabin (of course after he would leave) and having warm heart-to-heart conversations! Feeling nostalgic! Mr God bless her with a super happy wedlock and make sure she always smiles!