trying... again...

When people are walking at a pace that almost looks like running and you are sitting on a cozy couch with a bowl of popcorn and looking at them... You can either sit back and brood about your situation or try to throw that bowl, get in your sneakers, brace up and get going...

It can get ugly when you realize you are the only one who believes in you.... And, after a while, you get used to it and stop giving a damn!

Concerned messages and phone calls seem worthless and needless...

Baby bird doesn't learn to fly because the mama bird teaches it to, it tries and tries until it really can only because it wants to...

It is not about what you should be, it is about what you want to be.
And sometimes, you just never realize when that "should" turns into "want"

Indeed, my enough wasn't enough....

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
 stand a little taller
 it doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone..."  
(By Kelly Clarkson)


I wish...
Why do we wish so much!  

*sigh*

'God helps them, those who help themself.'

What if His help is needed to help oneself?

Times when you wish you were dead because it gets difficult to breathe. Of course life can be far worse than what it is but then at that moment such philosophies and consoling thoughts and talks fail to work.

But the truth is, its just another phase which will end soon and then maybe you'll be wanting to live life more than ever...

I don't feel like expressing myself here. I wanted to before but as I began typing I couldn't. The fact that others would know what I feel like, did not please me.
I tried writing my diary but I guess I don't wanna let me know too...Sometimes you don't want anyone to know what you feel like... not even yourself..

I wish....
Why do we wish so much!

Blank.

Growing up

Teenage, an era where friendship means the world to you, when friends, little bit of studying and fun is all you have in your life. As the years pass by, your world grows bigger, friendship is no longer the most important thing in your life, it becomes one of the important things. You have 100 other things to do, responsibilities to take up. You have to get into the marathon of having an awesome career, leading a luxurious life and maturing up! And, somewhere between all of this, you try to get some little time out for your "friends", their happiness and their sorrows.
A few years back, listening to your friend's tale of woes seemed to be the most important and imperative thing to do... Now, managing your own life has become so hectic and you simply won't enjoy listening to sad and frustrating stories.
Got a new dress, I need to call up my BFF and tell her that along with detailed descriptions on how the dress looks; this is what we were.
You meet your "BFF" at a party and she goes, "Whoa cute dress, where did you get it from?"; this is what we are.
Your happiness is celebrated by everyone but no one would want to come and weep with you for your silly little troubles like it used to happen previously... No doubt when you land yourself in big problems, they will come...
Time flies by. We grow up. Some grow faster and some take time...
Perhaps its not us who grow, its our life that grows on, moves on...

failed.

Sick, physically and mentally.

I feel so messed up at the moment for no freakin reason!
Feeling queasy, insane sneezing, wild running nose... :(

Mood swings!
Sometimes you want your friends to bear with you, be nice to you even when you act like a total bitch, understand you without you asking them to do so...
Results tomorrow, my tummy is churning badly! There's just too much pressure being imposed on me currently...
Mr God, I truly trust on you, I know whether negative or positive, You'll always be in my favor! ;)

What is it with people?! Every time before results they call and ask you if you are tensed about the forthcoming results? Duhh isn't it obvious... I mean, who is not anxious about the results, yes the level of anxiousness does vary. 

Especially when you are already behind time and the circumstances need you to be in action immediately, such stupid and unwanted concern gets too exasperating!   

Movies and books are the saving grace, I tell you..

I found perfect!

I've been to Lonavala countless times but on Saturday, when I was there with a group of friends, we discovered a pulchritudinous lake. Oh lord, that vision is something that I'm never gonna forget! Water moving so silently and graciously, a distant waterfall on the other side of the lake, huge round rocks, lots of different little bushes, each wearing a uniquely different shade of green... it was only us and no one else around... I never wanted to get out of that lake, that place... so picturesque, so perfect! Sadly, we were running out of time so we couldn't be there for long...  :(
I've not traveled a lot but what I experienced there, I hadn't experienced anywhere else!

Isn't God the best architect ever! I love Him sooooo much for creating something so alluring, marvelous, spectacular, phenomenal... ohhh I can go on and on about it until I fall short of all the adjectives known to me! It was truly a treat to the eyes... and the way it made me feel is inexplicable and unbeatable!
Thank you so much Mr God for that magnificent and bewitching view... just please don't let it elude by mind ever!
None of us had a camera or a cell phone in hand to click a picture that time.
You know, I could've enjoyed the view better if we had more time because I was inside the water all the time so my eyes did not get enough time to eat up all that they could see... but nonetheless the experience was simply divine!
Now I know where can I find it the next time I go.... and I'm certain to pay a visit again!! :)

For the first time, I knew what perfect meant, the real definition, something that can make me feel what I felt like when I was there!
I wish I was there right now...

One of my friend was shocked, how and why was I ENJOYING RAINS suddenly?! Well, that trip was meant to be for that, right, so... Moreover, I was already drenched in water due the waterfall so how would rains annoy me when I'm already soaked?? Duhh!
Actually,
it was not the rain that I loved but the cold and frigidness embedded in those icy raindrops hitting my skin... I wanted to hear my teeth clatter, see my body getting cold-creeps, feel the extreme frigidness the weather that time could offer and so I was standing out in the rain when most of them were sitting in a shanty, sipping hot tea and eating maggi...

And so I've been on bed since the time I've reached home with a red running nose, sore throat, no voice and fever! Gosh, I just can't stop sneezing, I would've had like a 100 aachhooss while typing this post!
BUT I still love cold! :D

Rejected again

And, suddenly everything's falling apart...

How happy you feel when your work is appreciated and how awful you feel when it gets rejected twice in a row...

You start doubting your capabilities and dedication...




All you can do is hope, hope for things to fall in the right place. But doesn't hope give rise to expectations?

And expectation is the shortest route to disappointment. So, what should you do?

Some say why do you think so much? Well, those "some" should be interested in their own business and not mine because sometimes thinking, wondering, musing and mulling becomes ineluctable.

...........................

Results in 6 days. Alarmed!
I'm not gonna think about it.

Sleepy but not getting any sleep. No, it's not due to the results. Happens more than often with me.

I discerned, I enjoy movies more than books. :)
Okay, watching 'No reservations' (again)...
Cheerio.